Forum Medical

Man reduces fertility

113 replies · page 1 of 6

Tos07
Hi everyone,
Two weeks ago, we found out that the swimmers of my partner are moving less. Since it came as a shock to us, we didn’t ask many questions at the time. On October 9th, there will be a second test, so we’ll just have to wait and see for now.

In the meantime, I’ve noticed that on some days I feel incredibly sad. How do you all cope with this? I’m hoping to share some support and experiences here.

Replies

Page 1 of 6

  1. Anonymous #2

    We got that news too. We were relying on ICSI. Even IVF wasn't an option because the swimmers were so bad So it does get a bit overwhelming But in the meantime, despite everything, we have a beautiful daughter of 2 So even with my husband's swimmers, a miracle was born So stay hopeful! But I do understand your feelings. I was even a bit angry at my husband during that time, while that poor dear obviously couldn't do anything about it. But it's so confusing when there's such little chance of conceiving naturally, and you know you have to go through a whole process before you can hold a baby in your arms. For him too, it was tough; he felt less manly. It's really sad, indeed. Have they already discussed what will happen if the 2nd test is also bad? It's really a moment of admission... If your friend, for example, was sick a few months back, his sperm count will also be lower. But then it can be perfectly fine at the next test. Keep hoping!

  2. Bloempje #3

    We got that news too last month. I really understand how you feel, and some days it's really sad for me too. I sometimes find it really hard. I try to talk about it or find distractions (although that doesn't always work).

    We have to go to the hospital on September 1st after the scan and start the process. My husband also has to do a second test.

  3. Tos07 started this #4

    Chantie, that's great to hear it finally worked out! I definitely still have hope too. But those sad days are just so damn tough. You can end up being a really unpleasant person to pregnant women... which I find really hard to deal with.

    Bloempje, that's really unpleasant. I know exactly what you're going through! And September 1st is quite nerve-wracking. That's pretty fast! Our GP wanted to do the second test herself too. And according to her, there had to be 70 days in between, so for us it's still a while.

    We're lucky to have almost all our vacation time and we're going to enjoy the sun! So I'm really looking forward to that. I had actually planned to spend less time on this this month, but now that it's getting closer, I'm wondering if I'll manage to do that.

  4. Bloempje #5

    At our place, the GP didn't want to do it himself; he thought it looked too worrying. And it's true that there should be 70 days in between. On September 1st, we'll find out when he has to submit it again.
    It's really nice to go on vacation; we've already been away, and I noticed that I could let go of everything so easily. Since we're back home, I've been thinking about it again a lot and feel sadder. While I do hope and keep hoping—miracles haven't left the world yet.
    I hope for you that you can truly enjoy your vacation and that you can let go.

  5. Biebsie #6

    I'm not familiar with the 70-day thing. We just bought a new kit and brought some back to the lab about a month later. So not even at the hospital or doctor's office. That's not necessary.

  6. Tos07 started this #7

    Biebsie, you're absolutely right. It's just sometimes a bit tricky. Especially when everything around you suddenly revolves around pregnancy. :-) It feels like it's hanging in the air and we should allow ourselves that too. With us, it was made very clear that there had to be days in between. We're going on vacation soon and then we'll get back to the medical part. Until then, we'll just hang out together!

    Bloempje, it's so nice that you were able to let it go during your vacation! That must have felt good. I hope for that too! And what you say, miracles haven't left the world yet. It only takes one good swimmer to make it happen. It's really nice to have a fellow traveler like you. I hope they can mean something on September 1st. Keep me updated?

  7. Bloempje #8

    Yeah, it definitely feels good to not think about it for a bit. Just keep trying to get things done and ease up a little. We could do that more easily now because we knew there was a real reason why it wasn’t working out. I really hope you’re enjoying your vacation.

    It’s indeed ‘heavy’ to be surrounded by so many other pregnant women. Even though you’re happy for them, you still want it for yourself too.

    I’m going for a blood test tomorrow for Sept 1st. Even though the problem turned out to be with my husband, I’m still getting screened again. I find it all a bit nerve-wracking, thinking about what’s coming up. I’ll keep you posted. It’s nice to be able to talk about it with someone who’s going through the same thing.

  8. Lisa #9

    Here too, the swimmers aren't moving well. Every month brings that disappointment again. Well, our age isn't really helping either; we're both over 35. Soon I'll go to the GP myself to get everything checked. How does screening work for a woman in his practice?

  9. Lisa #10

    Already called my GP for a referral to the gynecology department, and my boyfriend too. Curious about how long the wait will be. We can call tomorrow to book an appointment.

  10. Pebbels #11

    Hearing such news can feel like a massive punch to the face... No one asks for this, no one can do anything about it... And it just hurts, I know all about it unfortunately...

    But remember, technology can do so much nowadays, and literal and figurative miracles are being performed!

    We had exactly the same news as you. After trying for a year and still not being pregnant, we went to our GP. The first step taken was a sperm analysis. Since I had a 28-day cycle and never ovulated late. We spent a total of 6 months on the ICSI treatment (including about 3 months waiting for the 2nd and 3rd sperm analyses.. Scores varied quite a bit ), and we ended up having a healthy son. And now I'm early pregnant with the second (embryo from the same puncture as our son).

    So it really can happen.. Don't lose hope and try to do lots of fun things in the meantime to keep your mind occupied, that helped me too There are many success stories which are nice to read, I always found. And here on the forum, it's also very pleasant to talk about your experiences etc. Don't feel bad about the fact that you can't always be happy for someone else who is pregnant right now.. Those feelings are very normal, and of course you wish it for the other person too!! But also for yourself!! Just speak out about it here, we all understand you !

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for a good outcome and hope that you too may welcome such a wonderful miracle very soon!

    Love, Pebbels

  11. Lisa #12

    Yes, exactly, me too! And I also find it really nice to read all your experiences. I didn't dare to reply to the topics at first, haha

  12. Lisa #13

    My boyfriend has already taken 2 tests, the first one was really bad and the second one was a bit better but certainly not optimal. I've now ordered special multivitamins for him specifically to improve fertility.

  13. Bloempje #14

    Lisa, that's exciting, hopefully you'll find a place soon. It's good that the second test was better.
    Tos07, enjoy your vacation. And let go of some things. That way you're less focused on them.
    That's how we can share experiences. And take a break from it all. That's nice too.

  14. Lisa #15

    I used ovulation tests for the first time last month, and they were positive around the time I had calculated myself. So now I know we've always been timing things well.
    This afternoon I got a call from my GP about the referral to the gynecologist. I really have no idea what to expect, what and how they're going to check and test things. It's exciting but also a bit scary because I'm afraid they might find something wrong with me. But on the other hand, if they do find something, at least you know and can work on it.
    We're also going on vacation in a week, nice to get some sun and relax. Should I bring the ovulation tests or just let everything go? It's true like you said, Tos, some days you're more focused on it than others.
    Bloempje, what can they see from your blood test? Probably the first thing they'll do anyway.

  15. Bloempje #16

    I chose not to bring ovulation tests with us on our vacation. To really let it go for a bit (and we already knew back then that my husband's sperm wasn't great).
    Indeed, chlamydia and thyroid issues—I had blood tests for those. I also had an ultrasound last year, of ovaries/uterus and abdomen.
    But what's waiting for us now is also unknown to me. We both had to fill out a questionnaire for next week's appointment. I have to say I find it all really exciting.

  16. J27 #17

    I'd really appreciate chatting with someone. We also found out in May that things weren't looking good for my husband. It was really bad. Natural conception wasn't possible. We ordered vitamins and had a test done again after two months, and then there were some swimmers, so it might be possible.
    We chose to try on our own for another half year, but that time has passed in October. And I find myself thinking about it more and more because we really want to do it without any help.

  17. Lisa #18

    Ok, so the vitamins are working then? My boyfriend started taking them last Saturday.

  18. J27 #19

    Lisa, what is he using? Mine is Folium Selenium and Zinc. The tests were better in June. But not excellent yet. But there are possibilities. I'm really struggling with whether to continue with the hospital or wait some more.

  19. Lisa #20

    So our appointment is finally set with the OB-GYN for late September, and we're getting a questionnaire in the mail.

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