Young mothers
21 and happily pregnant
Replies
Page 3 of 5
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Kapinga Mamii #41
Don't let what others say get to you.
I'm 21 and will be a mom to my second son at the end of July.
I had my first child when I was 17, but I didn't get many negative reactions because they saw that I handled my pregnancy well.
I also went to school while pregnant and didn't really let those reactions bother me.
Being a young mom is so wonderful! -
melis1606 #42
Ugh, people sure talk! I sometimes get so tired of everyone thinking they know better!
I live in a fairly religious village, and I'm not religious myself, nor is my partner. But there are people here who really look down their noses at me because I'm pregnant, living together, and not married! I've been advised more than once to just quickly go to the town hall on Monday morning to get married, otherwise it would just be so weird!
It makes me so angry... but I don't let it get to me. I just smile sweetly and say that this way is perfectly fine.
They also assume it's just a mistake because of my age (I'm 22).
Why on earth? I'm happy with my partner, we have a stable income, and everything is in order!
I sometimes get so exhausted when you're pregnant and everyone thinks they know better or wants to tell you how you should do everything!
Well, I'm pregnant, it's my baby, and I'm managing just fine on my own! -
Kikker #43
Hahahaha ladies yes. So I (24) got a congratulations and the question if it was an accident all in one breath. Now everyone sees me glowing (19 weeks). I am sooooo proud. Thanks to the people around me; after fighting so hard for the pride and interests of your still unborn baby, they have only strengthened the bonds enormously!
This is my miracle and no one comes near??? -
Kikker #44
Oops, that should be; !!!!!!! -
meisje00 #45
I'm also 21 and now 33 weeks and 1 day pregnant. -
Geheimpje Guest #46
I'm 26, turning 27 when the little one is born, and I even get comments like this. My colleagues were all 30+ before they started having kids. Let them talk all they want. My career just isn't more important to me! -
anoniem Guest #47
Hi. I'm 19 and really want a baby. I get comments about it too, but I'm sure I can handle it! My mom doesn't know this because she always said that if I got pregnant young, she'd kick me out. So I'm scared of that and have already been looking pretty hard for a place to live with my boyfriend. My NuvaRing needs to come out on March 13th, and I'll be most fertile around March 27th to April 1st. I'm thinking about trying to conceive with my boyfriend then, since we think we'll have a place by then. One question is: after how many weeks do you usually start feeling nauseous and risk vomiting? So I can prepare my mom for that if I'm still living at home. And when do you start showing a bump? -
Mommy92 #48
Hey anonymous, I'd still wait (really!) a little bit longer
seriously, even just to avoid the stress that comes with moving and living together. My boyfriend and I started living together when I was 18, and from age 19 we really wanted a baby badly. Looking back, though, I'm glad I got pregnant at 20. After your first year of living together, you've gotten to know each other so much better. You keep learning more each year, but I always feel like the first year is really important for spending time together.
But to answer your question: I got nauseous very quickly, I think around 5 weeks. Week 6 it was gone for a bit, but between weeks 7 and 14 I could barely function because of the nausea
! My belly also showed quickly. At 12 weeks I bought the first maternity pants because I couldn't even button my own jeans anymore (by the way, it's a bloated tummy at first, things expand). But by week 18 it was obvious to others too!
I'd talk honestly with your mom about how you're feeling. I did the same, and even though she didn't fully understand at first, it hit her less hard when she heard it. Since our situation is stable and we were already taking care of a lot for my sister (now 6), she knew we could handle it and was jumping for joy after a day.
No matter how hard it is, wait a little longer! (I even cried for a few months because I wanted a baby so badly, but looking back I'm glad I waited!!!)
Good luck! -
Poesh #49
Anonymous, my advice is also to wait a bit longer. Live together for a few months first. I also delayed my desire for children due to renovations at the house; it seems like it takes a long time beforehand, but it's not as bad as it seems And it's indeed as mommy92 says, it's better to get to know your boyfriend better first. Because living together is already a big step; it can bring you closer together and strengthen your relationship. You'll need that strong relationship when you get tired because the baby is sick, doesn't sleep well, etc... I also got to know my husband very well during the first months we lived together. And indeed, stress with moving and such is not good when you want to get pregnant.
I completely understand that you want to, we're now in round 1, I'm also only 21. But try to find a house first, look at it again, and then start
Good luck with your decision! -
anoniem Guest #50
Thanks for the info.
You're right, but we've been wanting this for a year now. I spent every afternoon and evening with my partner, and when his parents were on vacation, I was there every day too. So I really know my partner inside out, hihi.
I'll think about it a bit more and talk it over properly with my partner. Thanks for the tips! -
Poesh #51
Anonymous, I'd like to add one more thing (I only thought of this late this morning). You think you know your partner inside out. I thought so too, we often stayed over at each other's, we even traveled together... But living together is really something else, with all the household chores and the routine of going to work and all that.
So that's why I'd suggest waiting a few more months.
But, it's and remains your decision, and if you're both sure about it, who am I to judge -
MelanieHW #52
Hey ladies, I also say, think it over carefully! I was unexpectedly pregnant at 17, and by the time I was 7 months along, our little house was ready. But you also have to get used to your new life and your new routine. And then, after just two months, our little sprout arrived. I wouldn't want to turn back time for anything, because I love my son so much, but it was pretty hectic overall. Take your time together when you have it! -
anoniem Guest #53
I don't have a job right now, but my boyfriend does full-time, and we know that a baby is expensive, but we also know we can manage financially. I take care of the household chores at home, and my boyfriend helps out in the evenings and/or on the weekends. We've already made clear arrangements about this -
anoniemm Guest #54
Is there no one here who was prejudiced by the parents when you told them you were pregnant or when they found out themselves? I'm actually most afraid of that. -
melis1606 #55
My oldies were both really happy my dad even had to cry hha and that's a pretty big tough guy but my partner is already 35 so I guess they kind of saw it coming! -
anoniem Guest #56
Then it’s normal, yeah. But I’m only 19 and I know my mom is against it. But personally, I feel like she or my family shouldn’t stop or ruin my wish. -
Poesh #57
I don't have any experience with telling people since we're trying for the first time here. But I think they'll see it coming too.. My boyfriend is 4 years older than me.. My in-laws will be happy (my father-in-law was younger than my husband is now), I can tell that too when they talk about kids.. I don't know about my own parents... But honestly, I think they already expect it somewhere, and they might first think it's a bit early, you're only 21 (probably 22 by the time I get pregnant..) but they'll come to terms with it when they see how happy I'll be.. They've always done this, they know I make choices by thinking it over first. And if I'm happy, they are too. -
anoniem Guest #58
Unfortunately, it's different for me. I also have a strained relationship with my mom. My boyfriend has already talked about it with his dad, and his dad wouldn't mind at all if I were pregnant—he'd even find it nice! So I'm still thinking about it, but I'm pretty sure it might be better to wait until we have our own place. That way, I don't have to worry about my mom kicking me out if she doesn't agree. -
Poesh #59
Anonymous, I'm glad you're thinking about it again, I really think that's the best option
And once you're settled in your little house, you can still start on it. -
Mommy-Of-Nyana #60
I'm 22 and have been living with my boyfriend for 2 years..
and honestly, I was pretty nervous about telling my parents!!
I have a brother and a sister who are 11 and 12 years younger than me
So I simply took the very first ultrasound scan, scanned it, and added the text "Will you be my godmother?" and printed it out on a large A4 sheet... I didn't tell my parents directly; I immediately went to my sister because I had a little gift for her and our mom knew exactly what time it was, she started crying and hugged me and my boyfriend... (we were also still getting used to it because it was very unplanned but very welcome!!)
@ Anoniem definitely think carefully before you start! because as mentioned above, you think you know each other and now you spend a lot of time together and stay over at each other's places etc., my boyfriend and I did all that too.. during vacations I stayed at his place for a month etc... but once you really start living on your own, the annoying quirks of each other really come to the surface and that's when you really start to know each other inside out now I'm convinced that your decision is almost set and whatever you decide, you'll definitely go for it!
lots of love and good luck!!
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