Getting pregnant young

Hi girl,

I can understand that these feelings are tough! I also always wanted to become a mother very young and had these same feelings at your age! I was in a steady relationship at 15 and lived at home until I was 22. In the end, I was 24 when I had my son! Some people can't even think about it, while others are much further ahead! I really don't think these feelings are strange or that they don't fit your age! Try to enjoy your life, and when the time is right, it will come! Good luck, love, Lynn

You really want to live together and your boyfriend already lives on his own... why not just move in together then? I don't know your situation of course... hope you figure it out and find some peace with your feelings! You can always chat here to let off some steam!
Love, Lynn

Hi! My maternal instinct was already there since I was a teenager. I started working at 18, and my boyfriend already had a job with a permanent contract. As soon as I had job security, we moved in together. I’ll be 20 in September. We saved up for 17 months before I got pregnant, but if you feel ready, I wouldn’t hesitate at all—just go for it! You can move in with your boyfriend and start building your little family. Once you have that feeling, you should just go for it, I think. I’m 10 weeks pregnant now. Even though we’re young, we won’t do any less than older parents Follow your gut feeling, I’d say.

Hi Sophie,

A desire for a child isn't weird when you're 19. Those feelings are very "normal," don't worry about it.

What I think is great about you is that you're handling it responsibly; you're using contraception and you mention that you see you can't take care of a baby well right now.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about this yet?
I don't think those feelings will just go away, but maybe you can give them a place until the time comes when you feel it's right.
You could start by moving in together with your boyfriend and then explore whether and when you could have a baby.

I do think it's important to talk to someone about it. You mention you have good contact with your parents and in-laws? Talk to your (mother-in-law) about it. Maybe they recognize these feelings too and can give you advice.

Good luck,
Warm regards, Dani

Ps, just one more thing about wanting to give a kid what they deserve: the most important thing is naturally the love and attention of the parents.

It's really nice when you don't have money worries, but when I look around nowadays at what kids are supposed to "have" now? It can definitely be much less, and our little one is unlucky in that regard: no Gameboy, no PlayStation, no Xbox, and who knows what else is for sale.

We don't have a lot of money right now either, but I just know our little one won't be lacking anything.

Hi Sophie,

After wanting to start a family with my boyfriend for a whole year, we finally took the plunge :-) And it worked on the first try! (I'm 20 myself)

Someone once told me that you should choose what you want most in life. I've always kept that in mind.

Of course, having a baby isn't something you just do because you really want it; it's super important to think carefully about everything. The practical aspects matter too, like work, childcare, and knowing that you'll be able to take good care of a child in the near future.

Looking back, I'm really glad we waited another year. I think after living with that desire for so long, you're a bit more ready for it.

During all those months when I wanted it so badly, I also told my mom and we had nice conversations about it. She thought it was too early, but on the other hand, that was partly because she wasn't ready to start at that age herself. Fortunately, she understood me to some extent because when you really want a baby, you can't think of anything else.

Sure, financial security is good and makes everything easier, but the most important thing is that you know you're ready and will always do your best for your baby!

Love and good luck

Hi Sophie!!
I totally feel you!
I've had this feeling since I was 14, when my sister had a little one, and No, that feeling did NOT go away like everyone claimed.
I often walked around crying after I let myself be tempted again to hold a tiny baby in my arms. I was also surrounded by kids,
after all, we had a daycare back then.

Now I'm 23 and pregnant with my first, and somewhere inside, I'm glad to hear that you're thinking it over carefully and can talk about it with your partner.
After all, if you really genuinely want a little one (I mean it), you understand that you need to be able to give them the very best you have, and that's a huge responsibility.
It's entirely up to you two, after all.
The fact that you're saying this yourself shows that you're serious and mainly thinking about the baby's future.
And regarding the apartment, as Dani said, you don't need to start looking for something bigger right away; that's only relevant once the little one is over 3 years old, okay..
Once they can't get rid of their energy properly anymore

So try to be patient!!
Later (and it doesn't have to be long from now) you'll enjoy it even more than I do!!

Hi Sophie

I have exactly the same problem! I'm also 19 and my boyfriend is 22.
We really want a baby and the more I read about it, the more I want it.
But I have a problem: I still live with my mom and she doesn't agree with me getting pregnant now. She'd even kick me out if I were pregnant.
I'm fertile at the end of March and I'm seriously considering just doing it. My boyfriend and I are looking for a place and the real estate agent will call us back this week. I'll wait for that first, and if it's good news, we'll go for it.
Otherwise, I agree with the rest. Since your boyfriend already has a place, I'd say: move in together and go for it!

Love

Hi ladies. I'm Sarah, I'm 21 and I already have a healthy 4-year-old daughter. I was 17 when I had her. It was an accident, but more than welcome!!! I'd like to advise you to look at your situation and your relationship. Follow your gut feeling and if you're ready for it, nothing will hold you back. I used to see life differently from my classmates, but that didn't bother me because in the end, it's only about me and my husband. As long as we support each other, we don't care what others think! I do hope you keep the consequences of having a child in mind, because it won't be easy, especially not in the early days after birth. You'll be tested on all fronts, and then you really need to have trust and patience! I hope this makes you wiser and helps with your decision and how you approach it.

Love, Sarah

Hi Sophie.

I totally get how you feel, I'm really doubting too.
My boyfriend lives on his own too and we have a big desire for kids.
But I also think we should get everything in order first.

But when I look further ahead, I think it'll all work out.
Everyone has their own way of living and I think people will have comments anyway, no matter how old you are or where you live.

I'm really considering going for it after August.
I'm so jealous of people with a little one. And I know it won't always be easy, but everyone has 'problems' sometimes. Everyone has to learn things, even at 30. I think you'll doubt everything anyway when you get your first baby because you don't know what to expect.

But I'd say, if you feel good about it and you're happy with your boyfriend, go for it! The rest will come naturally!

Hi girl, I totally get how you feel. I’m a young mom myself—I was 17 when I had my oldest son. It was unexpected, but so happy! Things went wrong with the dad pretty soon after the birth. I worked on a fixed-term contract, lived with my older , and was the sole caregiver for him. And I won’t even mention the prejudices—unbelievable! My son developed a fever of 40.5°C at just 6 weeks old. At the ER, they just said that since I was a young mom with a baby, I couldn’t possibly take care of him. After visiting five hospitals, we finally got the diagnosis. My 8-week-old son was operated on immediately; he was poisoning his own blood due to a blocked kidney. Eventually, they had to shut that kidney down. It was a rollercoaster. I slept max 3 hours. I kept working until I finally had to stop. Twice I got calls from the hospital saying, “Come urgently, you’ll have to say goodbye to your son.” With a heavy heart, I quit my job. But thank goodness, my son is doing well now. I met a new partner, and I have a 14-month-old son with him. Meanwhile, my ex sees my son one day from 9am to 6pm every two weeks at grandma and grandpa’s. So I’m basically doing it all alone! But I want to say, I hit rock bottom. Yet being a young mom made me strong. I hope we get pregnant with number 3 soon.

I want to get pregnant, but I'm too young. What should I do?