Forum Parenting

Keep or Abort

69 replies · page 3 of 4

Replies

Page 3 of 4

  1. Betty Guest #41

    Write down for yourself on paper why you made the choice. Whatever you choose, if you're having a hard time, you can read it back to remind yourself why the choice at that moment was the best one.
    You can't do it wrong, or rather, you can't do it right. You'll surely have moments of regret (with both choices). Then it might be nice to read back why you made the choice.

  2. floydi #42

    Strength today!

  3. Hartje #43

    Abortion is irreversible.. Your sweet little child..

  4. Bueno #44

    What the hell is that comment about. As if it's an easy choice for her. I had an abortion myself in the past. And she's pregnant and rare. So stop it.

  5. floydi #45

    Well, snap your frustration, I was hesitating to respond regardless of your opinion. Some statements, no one has anything like the comment above from hartje.

  6. Bueno #46

    Mja sorry, voor m'n hevige reactie. Wat Floydi zegt. Verder sterkte vandaag Ikkej!

  7. Hartje #47

    Oh, so you're not allowed to share your opinion? That's a shame. I'm really not saying she's in an easy situation! But am I saying things that aren't true? I want to give ikkeJ a big hug and wish I could stand next to her. Seriously, I'm typing this with trembling fingers; her situation affects me so much!
    I removed my second sentence because it didn't add anything. Well, I really don't want any arguments or anything like that. You share your opinion, I'll share mine.

  8. Bueno #48

    You responded heartlessly and selfishly. Completely disregarding her feelings. And giving your opinion? You're making her feel guilty, so no, just keep your opinion to yourself. No one benefits from your comment.

  9. Hartje #49

    I will indeed stop. But isn't your little sweet baby also in your belly now? Sorry if I hurt anyone, that's not my intention.

  10. Bueno #50

    There really is a little one in my body, and I know exactly what it's like to face that choice. And if someone then says, "What about the poor child, and it might be the last time you get pregnant...?" That just blows my mind. I see that you've edited your post to come across a bit less heartless.

  11. ---- #51

    Lots of strength to you, girl! It wasn't an easy choice, but as long as you support each other, it'll be okay. Strength again!

  12. floydi #52

    Hang in there, girl!

  13. anoniem22 #53

    Strength, girl! Brave choice!

  14. hartje #54

    Ikkie, strength with your loss. How awful that you both have regrets. You can also seek help after an abortion; I read that there is support available. Take good care of yourself! By the way, I'm a different heart than the one above..

  15. anoniem22 #55

    I'm so sorry to hear that... sending you lots of strength, hopefully you'll get through this.

    I had just turned 21 when I got pregnant for the first time, unplanned. I didn't have my own place, was on benefits, and didn't have many people around me. I had decided to keep it despite the situation, but then I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. That was really hard to process. Now, almost two years later, I have a stable income, my own house, a stable environment, and wonderful friends and family members who help me. I also have a little boy who is 13 weeks old. I have to be honest: even though the miscarriage caused so much grief, I'm actually glad it happened. I realize it's nothing compared to having a little guy who needs you 24/7. And things like having your own house and a stable income feel twice as nice now. I don't want to justify anything, I just hope you can find some support in my story. Life can change so much in a year. I understand it's really heavy right now, but try to stay as positive as you can, no matter how hard that is (I've also had two severe depressions myself). The positive in your story is that you have a friend who supports you immensely, and that you're both fertile. I wish you lots of strength during this difficult time, and hopefully you'll come out of it stronger!

  16. IkkeJ started this #56

    Hi everyone,
    Thanks for your support and stories. I'm doing pretty well physically now, but mentally it's still a bit up and down. My partner and friends are really supporting me a lot, and I'm so grateful for that.
    Love, IkkeJ

  17. Linda Guest #57

    Hi IkkeJ, what choice did you ultimately make?
    I had an abortion 9 years ago, I was 25 and pregnant by my ex. I was early on, so I still had the option to terminate the pregnancy with pills. In my case, I fully supported it with my head and I never regretted it. However, I did feel a lot of sorrow over it; I experienced it as the loss of a (unborn) child. I recently had two miscarriages (and by now also a healthy daughter of almost 2, by the way! ) and the sorrow from the abortion didn't pale in comparison to the sorrow of the miscarriage, even though abortion is a choice. It's a choice you don't make for fun, you have a good reason for it. And in my case, I think I made the best choice, and I still stand by that. But don't underestimate the aftermath. It's a profound choice, but so is having a child.
    I wish you lots of strength!

  18. Linda Guest #58

    Sorry, I just realized now that I missed quite a few messages!
    Strength to you, IkkeJ! I hope you can hold onto the thought that you didn’t make this choice for no reason. And not just for yourself, but also for your baby. You protected it because you feel you can’t offer enough to the baby right now. And the fact that it wasn’t born doesn’t mean it’s not there—it has a place in your heart.
    Your time will come, at a better moment. Strength!

  19. anoniem22 #59

    That's so nice to hear that you have so much support and things are getting better! Wishing you lots of strength for the coming time; hopefully, everything will fall into place for you and your partner.

  20. madelene #60

    I'm personally against abortion. So if I were you, I'd give it up for adoption. That way, the baby still has a life, just somewhere else. But I personally would never have an abortion. Of course, everyone makes their own decision in this. I'm just sharing my opinion since you asked

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