Forum Parenting

My son can't do without his dummy!!! HELP

43 replies · page 1 of 3

N. Coppola
Hi ladies,
My topic is about my son’s addiction (if I can call it that) to his pacifier... Since he was born, he can’t go without it.
At first, I thought he’d just get over it, but it only gets worse as he grows older.
When he goes to sleep, his pacifier is always in his mouth, and then he falls into a deep sleep, which makes me happy. Meanwhile, I’m doing household chores, and I usually wake him up around 9 or 10 PM for his last bottle. Luckily, he falls asleep quickly again, but I’m still busy at that point. I usually go to bed around 11 PM, and then, unfortunately, I always have bad luck—after midnight, he always wakes us up for his pacifier! And so, he’s been waking us up 10 times a night for the past 2 months! I’m exhausted. I already have short nights because I wake up around 5:30 AM (sometimes earlier if he’s had enough sleep). I work full-time and commute 1 hour each way every day!
Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you help them quit? Some kids keep their pacifier until they’re older than 3 years old! I don’t want that. I always said before he turns 1, but if it can be done now, that would be better!
Does anyone have tips?
Please help!

Replies

Page 1 of 3

  1. * #2

    @N. Coppola,

    Hey hey girl, I'm reading your story and oh, you must be so tired... The dummy, yes, some babies can't do without it, it's hard..
    Our son still has a dummy but I don't get out of bed for it.
    Especially at night..
    It might be an idea to stop giving him the dummy..
    Started with the 1st daytime nap. He cried for 30 minutes (first screaming, later more calm sobbing), but he did fall asleep. 2nd nap that day: crying again, but for a shorter time and less intensely. 10-15 minutes and he slept..
    The evening sleep, didn't give it again. 5 minutes of whining, and he slept. After that, he didn't miss his dummy for a single moment.
    It's a bitter pill to swallow but well, it can't be as bad as with my sister-in-law's son who gave her dummy until he was 9, so there are really extreme cases.....

    I hope this helps you..

    Strength and I hope for long nights with lots of sleep for you

    Love from me

  2. Mommy-Of-Nyana #3

    hi girls, I can really relate to your story! I also have long days at work and have to commute quite a long way back and forth..and then there's the housework too..
    our little girl doesn't need a dummy during the day, only during her naps..and we also had a time when she woke up because she lost her dummy... she then got a dummy from us that lights up in the dark (it's available at the pharmacy and Kruidvat) now she puts her dummy back herself when she wakes up... she has about 2 in her crib so she always finds one. and she also got a cuddly toy that she holds tightly and when she doesn't find her dummy quickly she presses the cuddly toy against her and falls back asleep without crying...
    like Ju says, just get through the sour apple and it will work out, girls!!

    Good luck, hugs from me and nyana

  3. Anonymous Guest #4

    An idea to take care of your son's upbringing yourself instead of working full-time. That way, you don't have to rely on others to raise your child. If you want to keep working full-time, it's your choice that others raise your child.
    Regarding the pacifier and dummy. Kids have to deal with so much already. If it makes him happy, let him be. What does it matter if he still sleeps with a pacifier and a dummy?

  4. N. Coppola started this #5

    @ Mommy of Nyana

    My son can't pick up his dummy on his own yet! Sometimes when he's crying during his afternoon nap and I go into the bedroom, I find his dummy next to his head. Well, he hasn't bothered to pick it up himself so far (unfortunately). Now I don't know if babies can't do it on their own at that age, or if he's just lazy, or wants attention... I don't know!!!

    I saw those dummies with lights at Kruidvat, but I always hesitated to buy them because they're not the same shape as what he's used to. He has Nukies and the ones from the pharmacist, and I'm afraid he won't want the other ones! But oh well, I was planning to go to Kruidvat anyway, so I'll just buy them. It's worth a try.



    Lots of love, thanks ladies

    xxx

  5. * #6

    @Anoniem,

    Maybe it's a good idea to respond a bit more kindly instead of telling someone they shouldn't work full-time. You don't know someone's situation, so you can't judge whether someone should or shouldn't work full-time...
    And I get the feeling that you're quite frustrated... Everyone has their own opinion, and if you come here just to not think along, maybe you'd be better off taking your anger elsewhere. Here we support each other and pick each other up...

    The way you present it comes across as just an opinion and is absolutely not constructive or advisory.....

    Regards, Ju or well, MavanMi
    P.S. Maybe you don't mean it that way, but it doesn't come across as friendly, Anoniem...

  6. * #7

    @N.Coppola,

    Hey, we've only just got it working and of course it's going to be a bit of a trial and error process..
    As for your mother-in-law, I'd definitely talk to your husband about it and let him know where your boundaries lie, and also make it clear to your mother-in-law that you're not happy with her giving such large portions..
    It's best to coordinate here, be clear about how you want it and how you don't.

    As for the pacifier, if you don't get to it now, you'll do it a bit later...
    But well, eventually he won't want it anymore and, as I already wrote, he's not 9 years old, just like my partner's family's son who was still using a pacifier to fall asleep back then, so there is hope

    Love, MavanMi

  7. N. Coppola started this #8

    I completely agree with you, MavanMi!

    Why would you say something like that! Do you really think I wouldn't want that! I was joking with my boss yesterday after he asked me if I had slept well last night! : to which I replied, I wish we still lived in the 70s/80s, why did he ask, I said that way at least I could take care of my son comfortably at home…

    Do you really think everyone can afford to work part-time or not at all!

    Do you really think it's not my dream to stay home with my son?

    I call my mom crying every day because I miss my son and I'm tired, and so on and so on!

    We just bought a house, we have to pay for it, right!

    Now you're going to say, why did you buy a house! Well, lazy lady! Because buying a house is much cheaper than renting! I don't know where you're from, but both in the Netherlands and Belgium, house prices have skyrocketed!

    And one more thing! The topic is about a "tut" and not about meddling in other people's financial situations, okay! Now you've really made me angry!

  8. N. Coppola started this #9

    @ anonymous it's about how he wakes us up 10 times a night because his dummy falls out! And I'm forced to work full-time (unfortunately) so that my husband and I can give our children a nice little home!

  9. irma Guest #10

    I think a pacifier is better than a thumb, right? Because you don't get rid of thumb-sucking that easily.

    I give him the pacifier when he's really tired in the evening and at night, and when he's fighting sleep. That usually helps. Once he's rocked to sleep, it's good.

    And sometimes just to test if he's still hungry. He's now drinking 150 ml 5 times a day, which is a bit of an adjustment for him, but he's getting used to it. Last night he slept from 10 pm for the last 5 hours, and then only woke up again at 10 am, and then every 4 hours. So today it'll be 05:00, 10:00, 14:00, 18:00, and 22:00.

    At first he still woke up once in the middle of the night, and I gave him 60 ml with 2 scoops, and he came...

  10. N. Coppola started this #11

    Hi Irma,

    Yes, indeed, better than the thumb

    My son doesn't wake up to eat, but because his dummy always falls out! Then he cries us awake and we have to put the dummy back in his mouth. Once is no harm, but if it's 10 times or more and now for 2 months non-stop that I only sleep max 3 hours, or sometimes less! And I'm always busy all day, so there's no time for a nap (for me)

    greetings

  11. * #12

    @N.Coppola,

    Some people think they can say whatever they want and just ignore it. I already suspected such reactions would come. Some people just can't help but express themselves negatively...
    It's probably someone who is overly frustrated themselves; you always have those around. Maybe a tip: put these kinds of things in the protected section of Brabbels, where anonymous users can't respond—it's shielded. I think you're already a member there...

    It's Babybende..
    Big hugs from us

  12. N. Coppola started this #13

    Yes Ju,

    At the time I was angry, but I’ve forgotten about it by now!

    Yeah, it’s a good suggestion (some topics are locked), but I don’t want to look dumb, yet on this site nothing works for me—I can’t even send you an email myself!!! (to reply to your messages)

    When I go to your profile and try to click “send message,” it doesn’t work grrr

    Well, unfortunately

  13. * #14

    @N. Coppola,

    First off, you're not dumb, and second, sometimes it's tricky to figure out how things work on a site. I'll explain it to you: you can click on my profile and see my name, MavanMi. There you'll see a heart and an envelope, and that's how you can send a private message and add someone as a friend.

    If you have more questions, feel free to ask—asking is always welcome!

    Love, Ju and of course MavanMi

  14. N. Coppola started this #15

    Yeah, I did that, Ju,
    I clicked on your profile and sent a message, and weirdly the message got sent to me haha

  15. * #16

    @N.Coppola,

    Then you have to have the other one hihihihihi
    You'll also see the picture with MavanMi haahahahha sure got a bit little sleep hahahahahahaha just kidding :-)

  16. N. Coppola started this #17

    Oh really, believe me, it's not working out. I went to your profile, pff I'm sleep-deprived but still somewhat fit hihihi
    It's a pity that it's not working out.
    Send me another private message so I might be able to reply to you there

  17. irma Guest #18

    So you really don't get much sleep, yeah. And maybe take a nap together with the little man in the big bed around midday, or if he's awake in the morning?

    I'm also going back to work on September 1st.
    I really hope he sleeps through until half past 5 on the days I have to work.
    Before, I used to get up at 6 am to go to work, now I'm thinking about half past 5.
    That would be a nice bonus. Now it's usually somewhere between 4 and 5, which is already quite decent.
    But now I can still lie in, usually until 9 am, and get up, while my boy usually sleeps until 10 am and then feeds. But after that, it's every 4 hours, yeah, sometimes he shows up a bit earlier, but I can't manage to stretch it until 11 pm.
    That didn't even work when he still had night feeds and the first one was at 7 am.
    But well, think a few more weeks and he'll probably sleep through.

  18. * #19

    @N.Coppola,

    I've already sent you 2 emails, I hope you can answer them now..
    Lots of hugs from us

  19. N. Coppola started this #20

    @ Irma,

    I hope for you that your baby will sleep through the night until you need to wake him up before you return to work.

    My son started sleeping through the nights from his 2nd month. It was quite a shock the first time, but he slept well, sometimes for 7 or 8 hours straight…

    But 1 week before I had to go back to work, he woke up again, every day at 4 am, and I started panicking. Next week I’m back at work, and I won’t be able to sleep anymore!!!

    I had just an appointment with the pediatrician, and he advised me to give a higher dose in the last bottle, so from 210 to 240, and that helped. Unfortunately, now there’s another problem! That “pacifier” issue.

    Greetings

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