future mom without a mom

Thanks for the sweet reply. I'm trying to enjoy it but I'm too scared it'll go wrong (and that chance is always there, right?). I'm afraid I'm a bit too cautious to get too excited. Well, that's not always bad either. Fingers crossed!!! x

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be pregnant without your mom nearby.... Maybe it’s a good idea to keep your mom updated anyway by writing a journal/letters about your pregnancy, and then share it with your little one when they’re old enough.
I wish you a very good pregnancy and lots of strength

I'm indeed keeping a baby journal right now to write down everything that comes to mind. Thanks for the sweet response too x

Hi there.

I can totally imagine how that feels. I had a really close bond with my dad. He was ill and passed away just two days after we told him. He was the one I always called to share stories with, but that’s not possible anymore. He died in November 2012; I was 6 weeks pregnant at the time. I told my mom, but she didn’t want any contact because my sister had been dealing with it for years, and it hit us within a month. She said it would hurt her too much... So I don’t have a mom to turn to, and no dad either. Luckily, I have my in-laws and my aunt. Strength in dealing with the loss, even though it’s been a while, and I wish you a happy pregnancy.

Love,

Angelique

Hi Butterfly,

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!
Zooo I can so relate to what you're writing, tears immediately sprang to my eyes when I read your story..
My mom passed away in 2005 and my mother-in-law when I had been dating my current husband for 3 months, 3 years ago..
I've missed her more than usual lately and that's logical too.. the one who loved you unconditionally and was the biggest role model in your life is no longer there..
That hits really hard at moments like these.. you see, even after so many years, it still just hurts..
What I always think about is what I would have done together with her etc and then I look for some time for myself.. often I also talk about it with my husband or sisters.. and often there's no other solution than just crying, that helps a lot too.. and as long as your pregnancy is going well, try to enjoy it especially.. it is and remains so special!
Love,

Thank you so much, Am and Angelique. I really feel for you both and I truly hope everything turns out okay (for all of us). I just had a total panic attack; there was some bleeding. I was in a complete state when I went to the doctor (and I’m usually as calm as can be), so my head wasn’t in the right place. Luckily, everything was fine. We have a heartbeat: everything is normal. The gynecologist was very understanding, thank goodness. It turns out I’m actually a week further along than I thought.

My mother-in-law still doesn’t know about it. We plan to tell her on my birthday (July 12th, which is around ten weeks), and then tell others in August. If my mom were still here, she’d definitely know. If I hadn’t said anything, she’d probably have noticed anyway, I think. I suspect that if I could have called her, the panic earlier wouldn’t have been nearly as overwhelming. Oh well: better to visit the doctor one time too many, right?

Hi..

@Am no, I haven't had any contact at all. Now I'm 39 weeks and I also feel like they don't need to come if our girl is here. My dad's sister, my aunt, will become grandma to our little one. The baptism names will also be my mother-in-law and my aunt's names.

Love,

Angelique

Hi Miss Butterfly,

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy!

I totally relate to your story. I’m 29 weeks pregnant and have lost both of my parents. My mom in 2007 and my dad last year. After my dad passed away, my desire for children suddenly grew quite fast, which is quite peculiar. Maybe because life feels so fleeting. I’m also pregnant for the first time now..
I had that same feeling during the first 12 weeks. Quite happy, but also very cautious and grounded about it..
It’s terrible that you can’t call your mom, I had a very close bond with her too. You want to share this so much with her, tell her how you feel, what you’re going through, and if you just feel really happy (like seeing the first ultrasound and hearing that everything looks good) or really sad, you want to tell her about it..
What helps me a lot is participating in a group with all pregnant women who are due in December. It’s so incredibly nice to share what you’re going through with others, ask questions, and think more calmly and realistically about what’s happening in your body, unpleasant symptoms, etc., and later prepare for childbirth... The meeting is once a month, which could have been more frequent from my side

That bleeding was quite a shock, phew, luckily everything is okay..
Can you share your feelings well with your partner or other close people in your environment?

Thank you all for the lovely responses (sorry for the late reply; as a teacher, I had no time for anything this week). Well, I can talk to people: my sister knows, but she's still a bit of a teenager, so she gets tired of my whining quickly :-) oh well. We're planning to tell the parents in two weeks.

Congratulations to all of you, by the way! I really hope our kids get to enjoy their parents for a long time (and our grandchildren will one day enjoy their grandparents)!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I'm going through the same thing. My mom won't be with us anymore starting next Friday. And I'm pregnant with my mom—this Friday I'll also be 8 weeks along. I have the same feeling now; I got a whole list of questions from the midwife that I need to fill out, and there are questions about my own childhood that I don't know the answers to and can't ask about anymore. But I have a strong feeling that the baby is being very well protected by my mom, so hold on to that because they definitely already have one protective angel

Enjoy your pregnancy, and they say everything will be okay.

Best wishes, Tamara