Forum Mothers

Relationship doubts

2 replies

Kim Guest ·
My husband and I wanted to stop using contraception in April to try for a baby. Until very recently, I was so happy and really wanted a little family. But now, suddenly, I have doubts about our relationship. I’d already been bothered by some things, but not to this extent. Now I have a new colleague at work, and he’s exactly the kind of man I like. Confident, shows he’s there, stands up for his opinions. My husband is gentle, agrees with everything, does everything for me, is very sweet, but he’s not someone who’s really “there.” He doesn’t stand out, is very insecure, and doesn’t want to be in the spotlight. I’ve been bothered by that for a long time, but now it bothers me even more. I think that other man would fit me so much better. But I love my husband and really want a family with him. I’m now doubting everything. That other man definitely doesn’t want to start a family in the next 4 years, while I’d rather have kids yesterday than today. It’s not fair to my husband to be doubting like this. If I leave my husband now, I might be too old to start a family by the time things work out. I want nothing more than children. I’m so unsure. Sorry if my story is unclear, but I don’t know how else to say it.

Replies

  1. Iza #2

    Having kids in a relationship where you don't really believe in it isn't a good idea. Kids aren't a plaster on a wound, they're salt in the wound. Raising children puts a lot of strain on a relationship, and your role as a partner will also shift into a role as a parent. You get to know each other in a different way, which can cause some tensions. So starting a family because you want kids now (and just going with the guy you're with but aren't super enthusiastic about) isn't really a solid foundation.

    On the other hand, everyone sometimes gets to thinking when they meet a nice person who is completely different from their partner. But... that's just a first impression; you don't know how this person is long-term or how they'd be in a relationship (with you). So... think hard about what you want and with whom, and definitely don't 'have' kids just because you feel you need them right now. Nothing is worse than coming into a world where the family wasn't working well before you were even born...

    Good luck!

  2. rianna Guest #3

    honestly i'm still not over my ex yet
    we've had kids with my husband but to say i'm in love no or that he's the love of my life no
    but he takes such great care of our little family he puts the kids to bed
    he packs their lunch
    he helps with the housework he cooks
    everyone really says you hit the jackpot with him
    we now have 2 kids and have been together for 19 years
    what i wanted to say is i have my family now
    so in terms of care he's the man of my dreams
    i couldn't have done better
    in love no but okay otherwise i wouldn't have my family now
    and at moments when i think gee i feel more attracted to other nice guys
    i quickly think no
    you do it for your kids mom dad giving them a beautiful childhood their home protecting them
    of course i'm more susceptible to temptations from other handsome guys
    but just as my man takes care of our family you don't find them anymore
    so well that's how it is and secretly in my heart my first youthful love my ex is there
    and my man is handsome too i often see women looking at him
    luckily he ignores it he's also so busy with his tasks
    and our princess
    greetings rianna

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