teenage moms

Hi,

You have to know that it's heavier than you think. A child brings more responsibilities with it than you think. I advise you to wait until you're at least 18 and then consider it.

I'll join in, proud mommy. You're still very young, you're still in high school. I'd wait a few more years and then seriously think about having kids. Enjoy your teenage years! A child is the most beautiful thing there is, but it's no small thing!

I think a lot of young mothers have thought at that age, "I want to be a mom," but I don't think you should start that early... You're still a kid yourself, developing, and there's so much more to it than just playing and giving bottles. Especially not if you're having a child who needs extra care, and you never really know that in advance... My advice: finish your studies, have a stable environment, your own little house, your own income, and then see where things go from there.

Just because others do it doesn't mean you have to do it too.

As we've mentioned, having a kid is really fun, but it comes with a lot of responsibilities.

Raising a child is no joke, girl.

Relinde, I also used to dream about having a beautiful pregnant belly when I was a teenager, but then you also end up with a baby, as others have pointed out. The way you respond shows me that you're really still young, and that doesn't seem easy to me when it comes to raising a child.

I'm not someone who says "make the most of it" in the form of enthusiastic teenage years or whatever, but when I look at myself: I'd love to take a leap into the deep end career-wise or education-wise, but I've decided to be there for my kids first. That's what the other moms here mean: you can't just forget about your baby for a month; they're always there!

Maybe you could take a part-time job at a daycare center? Then you could enjoy working with kids and then go home to do your own thing. That seems like the best option for you at your age.

Okay, for a baby you also need the following things:

1. A stable income: a child costs a lot of money. If you don't want to depend on others for your whole life, you'll need to earn that yourself, which is easier if you have at least a completed high school diploma and preferably further education;
2. A stable home: a place where the baby can grow up in all the peace, cleanliness, and routine they need, instead of, for example, in the middle of another household with too many people, other small children, little space, noise, etc. You can't have a stable home at 15, and you can't have one without the first one either.
3. A stable relationship: regardless of the fact that I absolutely believe women should be allowed to have a child on their own, it's still nice for the upbringing of a child if mom has a stable relationship with, both with the partner and with herself. At 15, you still have so much to discover about yourself, who you are, what you want.

If you think the above things aren't important or that you'll "sort that out," I'd say that's naive. I'm not against becoming a young mother, but I am for taking responsibility. When I was young, I also had periods where having such a little one seemed nice to me, caring for a baby, and of course I also thought I'd have all that for it! But that's naive and too short-sighted. Now I'm 32 and expecting my first child soon, after a nice education, with a good job, peace of mind about my relationship, because I've now truly found the right person with whom I'd want a child. I'm glad I did it this way.

Wait until you're at least 18, go live a bit, do something fun for yourself! It'll give you a nicer life with fewer worries.

If you look at that with four hands on a belly: you also see nothing but misery: generation after generation depending on others, young mother, little to spend. Yes, those kids also grow up and yes, those kids also receive love. But those girls are often lonely too, because their world is small.

Totally agree with the last comment above, I have nothing more to add.

Dear teenager,

wait at least until you're an adult yourself. Right now, you don't even have legal custody of the baby, basically. Regardless of all other arguments. Taking good care of a child also means taking good care of yourself. And that's not the case if you consciously choose parenthood at 15. Wait a few more years.

If you're already pregnant: abortion is not the solution. Then seek help immediately from, for example, Siriz.

I agree with the above. As a teenager, you quickly think you're so grown-up, but there are so many phases to go through. Especially when you're only 15.

Whatever you read about other young mothers, being that young is often not what they chose either. I see "young mother" as a term for women in their 20s, up to about 25. I always wanted to be a young mother myself. I'm so glad I built a stable life first. Children require a lot of money, attention, and energy. It's better to finish your education and do further training first, and then think about the next steps. So much is coming your way in the next few years.

Your response already shows that you're not quite ready for those responsibilities.

Being pregnant seems fun—having a sweet baby, cuddling, choosing clothes... But being pregnant also means a lot of sickness, pain, exhaustion, and your body changing in ways you can't just get back. Giving birth isn't super easy, but you rarely hear how much pain it actually causes. There are few people around when it all comes pouring out. And after that, you're constantly tired from feeding, crying, etc. You can't just do something without the baby.

Of course, there are many nice things, but you always forget to look at the unpleasant parts.

I wouldn't even recommend becoming a single mother now (but I understand the choice—wow, I really underestimated that).

23 now and 22 gave birth with a own home with garden married good income stable environment etc etc...

I was 24 when I had mine, 23 when I was pregnant. My little one is now 11 weeks old. Also married, stable income, and a rental home.

32 , I really wanted a stable relationship at first and I am soooooo sooo (did I already say SOOOOOO?) glad that I didn't start having kids with my ex. I moved in with him when I was 22 and was completely convinced about him. Looking back, I still needed to grow into who I really am and to dare to speak up about that, and now I'm with the most perfect man for me, because he gives me the space and respect to express myself. We're equals, and I think that's the most important foundation for a baby. So - although I always said I wanted to be a young mom and wanted to be done with 3 kids before I turned 30 - I'm really happy with baby 1 at 32. Life goes as it goes, and you naturally have to do what makes you happy, but everything in its own time.

Ultimately, it's important that you have a stable relationship. So, smart of you, Rosa. Nothing like having a kid and then breaking up.

Here’s someone who always wanted to become a mom... because oh, those little ones are just the end!
And.. they really are! But they’re also deadly exhausting, expensive, and energetic. Looking back now, I’m so glad I didn’t start earlier. I probably wouldn’t have been able to put things into perspective as well and would’ve stayed calmer about it, I think. Not to mention any stability (housing, finances, relationship,...). Now everything is going well (own home, good partner, both have income,...) and even then it’s sometimes pretty tough! I was 28 for the first one and will be just 30 when the second one comes.

Wait a few more years.

I was 20, I gave birth at 21. Partner was 28.

But, I had been with my partner for quite a few years already, we had a house, a car, and financially we were doing well. Those are really important things. I thought kids were amazing from the age of 15, and I would have really wanted one back then, but I'm so glad I waited. Children are forever, not just for a little while.. and it's nice to watch, but enjoy looking at other people's babies for now. You don't have authority over your own child at this moment. I'd enjoy your teenage years a bit more first, and then, once you've passed 20, take another look at how you see your future. Good luck with making your choice, but I'd really not start now. As I said, I'm incredibly glad that I came to my senses when that time came and waited for the right man and the right time. Good luck ;-)

Hi teen!
I join in with everything said above, wait a few more years. Although there are always stories of women who had a child very young (13-17 years) and it went well, that's not always the case. Don't think too lightly about it, even though it's of course the most beautiful adventure ever.
To answer your second question; I was 27 when I was pregnant and almost 28 when my first was born. My husband is a bit older, he was 31 at the birth. We had a house with enough space, both had a good job with a stable income and a stable relationship. We also had life experience, had enjoyed our youth and student days enough and were completely ready for it. In addition, despite our good and stable situation, we even had parents to fall back on for babysitting etc. In the meantime, we have three children and we are still happy together, I'm very glad about that. Honestly, I don't even want to think about having had a child at fifteen; I was still a child myself (just like you), even though I felt big and almost grown up. From experience, I can tell you that I'm just not mature and responsible enough. No matter how much you think and feel that way.
Greetings,
Lou

Wanted to ask if you're pregnant by now