Forum Breastfeeding

dreading breastfeeding

20 replies · page 1 of 2

Babydraakje84Guest ·
Hi everyone

I'm really dreading giving breast milk.
I've decided for myself that I'll try it, but I just don't feel comfortable with it.

Suppose I decide after a few days that it's not for me, how quickly can I then switch to the bottle??
I've already mentioned this story during the intake with the maternity care provider.

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. kruimel #2

    Why do you want to breastfeed if you're so against it? There's nothing wrong with formula!! Don't feel pressured by what others say, like that it's so much better, or that you're a bad mother if you bottle-feed, etc. etc. etc....

    I can already tell you now that it probably won't work out. In my opinion, breastfeeding also has a lot to do with how you feel. If you're not 100% behind it, it often doesn't work.
    (At least, this is my experience from my circle, it's not based on anything else)

    I did breastfeed myself, but I was raised on a bottle. Nothing wrong with that!!!!

    Do what feels right for YOU, not what others think is right.

    Try it if you want, if it doesn't work you can start with the bottle immediately whenever YOU want. Stick to your feelings, even if the nurse/midwife/postpartum care worker keeps insisting.

  2. * #3

    May I ask why you’re dreading breastfeeding?

    I personally breastfed my middle son and found it very pleasant. It creates a great bond with your child and it’s also good for your recovery; you lose those pregnancy kilos so easily.

    Unfortunately, I couldn’t breastfeed my youngest son because the stress I picked up from my surroundings... prevented the breastfeeding from getting off to a good start I still find that really sad... But you asked about switching from breast to bottle, and that can happen very quickly. Within a day, you can already be bottle-feeding the little one. The only thing is, you’ll likely have engorgement. That means your breasts keep producing milk but the baby isn’t drinking anymore.

    I had that experience with my first child. I couldn’t breastfeed then, so it was straight to the bottle. They bound my breasts with tea towels, a very old tradition... from grandma’s time Anyway, the pain lasted about a week.

    But this is my experience, my story.
    Maybe it helps you a little bit.
    Big hug and enjoy the little miracle on the way.

    Ju or maybe mavanmi

  3. Sas #4

    Hi! With my first, I was 100% behind BF, but now with my second, I can't manage it anymore.
    I'm going to BF with my second.
    Maybe it helps to take a breastfeeding course so you can decide for yourself whether you really can't handle it.
    But don't let others push it on you; the most important thing is what works for you.
    I found BF quite special in itself, and I'd say you can always try it. If your feelings are still the same, stop immediately and continue with bottle feeding. Good luck with your choice!!

  4. Babydraakje84 started this #5

    For the pregnancy weight, I don't need to worry about it (I'm now 39+6 weeks and have only gained 7 kilos).

    I was also bottle-fed myself and there's really nothing wrong with that.
    But since everyone says breastfeeding is so great, I thought, well, it's worth trying.
    I happen to know that my mother couldn't breastfeed either me or my little brother, and in terms of pregnancy, I seem to be exactly like her.

    I'm going to try it anyway because I think I'm also afraid of the unknown (first baby).
    Who knows, it might go really well, but it's nice to know that if it doesn't work out, I can just switch to bottle-feeding.

    Thanks so much for your replies. I've talked about it with people before, but you notice they try to steer you towards breastfeeding. (And I don't always feel like having that discussion.)

  5. * #6

    And that's just how it is, girl. Just do your own thing and go with what feels right for you and the little one...
    Good luck with the delivery!

  6. Milou #7

    just give them a nice bottle then

  7. Miss Butterfly Guest #8

    I have exactly the same feelings. I want to try it because of the benefits, but the first time was really not a success (very slow and weak drinker who therefore didn't gain weight). With a lot of help from the specialist, I managed to keep it up for three months then the baby didn't want it anymore. It wasn't nice at all. And now the choice again. My gut says no. But the benefits are so great... I've decided that I want to try but not for another three months if history repeats itself.
    I get comments from colleagues that I wasn't/motivated enough, that I did it wrong... just from that pressure alone I'm at risk of dropping out again. It's nice that there are people here with understanding!

  8. DeeDee012 #9

    That’s so frustrating to hear people pushing you in one direction!! Do what feels right for you!! As soon as you start feeling even a little bit of stress from breastfeeding, just switch over. I was 100% committed to breastfeeding for my first baby, and because of that, I continued breastfeeding and pumping longer than I should have after the fact.

    With baby number 2, now over 3 weeks old, I decided to try breastfeeding again, and the first 3 weeks weren’t that easy. It took some energy. But now it’s going well, and I’m glad I stuck with it. Still, I know that if it had caused me stress for another week, I would’ve switched over too. Because you want to enjoy your little one and not feel stressed.

    Good luck with your choice!

  9. Kitty #10

    You should really follow your gut instinct. I breastfed for over 2 years myself, but I also went all in for it 100%.
    If your gut is already telling you that you dread it, I can only say: DON'T DO IT!
    There's no right or wrong between bottle and breast! Your gut, your baby, your life!
    Don't do anything against your will, because the chance of it not working out is already there.
    Of course, I'm in favor of breastfeeding, but I'm no mafia ;-)

  10. Chelsea #11

    Sounds so familiar. I want to do it too because of the benefits, but my breasts and especially my nipples are so irritated right now that I can't even think about a baby latching on. And whether you'd also rub your nipple along his cheek so he starts trying to latch. I'm dreading it too. But I do want to try.

  11. kuki88 #12

    I really want to breastfeed. Because of the benefits for baby and also for the bond. But I was also really scared of it at first..

    Since you hear so many stories about it being painful, difficult to latch, stressful, etc.

    But now I've taken a breastfeeding course and learned so much. That I have much more confidence in it. But if it doesn't work out or if it causes too much stress.. I'll just switch.. just follow your feelings and instincts ; ) and such a course is really recommended!

  12. Kitty #13

    Come on ladies, always follow your gut feeling. If you don't try, you'll never know. And if it's not for you after all, there are luckily alternatives.

  13. kruimel #14

    Chelsea; if your nipples hurt a lot, you can use nipple shields.
    Not all lactation consultants support them, but I couldn't breastfeed without them (due to flat nipples).
    I also breastfed for over 6 months - without pain - using nipple shields..!
    I make sure I have the right size on hand again when my little one arrives in August.

  14. Miss Butterfly Guest #15

    Unfortunately, no success here again. I've been doing it for about a month, but now I'm tapering off. I had low supply and realized that one side isn't cooperating. It was the same last time, but I didn't pay attention to it then. I had breast surgery a few years ago, and that's the breast that's significantly behind, where he barely drinks. You can breastfeed with one breast, but my supply is low there too. So I put in a lot of effort with the help of experts, pumped a lot to boost supply, did skin-to-skin... but I became extremely stressed, and I wasn't doing anything else all day. I also have a daughter, and I couldn't keep sidelining her because that's what I'd really have to do this way. Every feeding time, I felt unhappier because I saw it going wrong. He also gets some formula because I don't have enough, and he drinks very slowly. I know they advise against it, but if he lost too much weight and his skin started peeling, there wasn't much other choice. Anyway, he got through the first month (and I fought for it!). The colostrum was also received. Now I'm choosing my family, making sure I can cuddle with my boy because the pump always stole my bonding time and my mental health because I'm going to fall apart over this. Still: every time, false hope for a few minutes, and then disappointment again. They (fortunately benign) cysts are seven by four cm and three by two cm in my breast: that's big. So I'm really at...

  15. Miss Butterfly Guest #16

    I've been thinking that it does have an impact somewhere. I just can't see it anymore like this. I want to see and cuddle my daughter, and my son too. If I had kept fighting for it, maybe it would have worked out, but the price is too high for me. I don't feel good about it, but it's choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. I've received support, I've done a lot for it, but it's no longer sustainable. If he were my first child, I think I would still try. But he isn't. I've put the pump aside and cuddled, played, and sung with him. So much fun! I really missed him while he was with me, and I fear he missed me too. Wishing you all lots of luck! I'm rooting hard because, for example, keeping the baby is the healthiest choice, and I genuinely wish it for everyone. I just can't keep going anymore.

  16. kuki88 #17

    Well, you clearly gave it your best shot, Miss Butterfly! And you brought back some good colostrum! Super nice! But what doesn't work... just doesn't work! Now it's time to put your energy somewhere else.

    Here we have a positive experience. We're lucky with breastfeeding. The baby drinks super well and grows like a weed! Was back at his birth weight within 5 days! Latching doesn't hurt at all! And I have plenty of milk.

    I do find it quite intense, especially in the beginning... but now, two weeks later, it's more about supply and demand. I'm also pumping so I can get a bit more sleep at night.

    But I'm really glad it's going so well.

  17. Sas #18

    Top Miss Butterfly..love is what it's about

    That's why I'm now also giving (and for many other health reasons for myself) bottle feeding and can be there for my two kids

  18. Sas #19

    And don't see it as a failure... you've done it for a month and that's awesome!!!!!

  19. miss Butterfly Guest #20

    Thank you so much for the kind words. Here in Belgium, many people see it as a failure. For example, we have to go to the Netherlands for milk because here, formula for such little ones can't just be sold (Omneo is medical formula and that's not allowed, ah no, who wants to encourage bottle-feeding anyway). Result: only available at the pharmacy for 22 euros per box. In the Netherlands, it's 13 euros. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. Luckily, the health center isn't making it difficult; they know about the surgery and that I really fought for it. My cousin just chooses bottles. She does what she wants. Sometimes I wish I could be more like her. It's probably the hormones... My mom herself never wanted to breastfeed either, and she was a super good mom! If I could talk to her about it, I think it would help. But she's not here anymore. I'm a bit emotional, sorry. First day, no breastfeeding at all now. Sucks :-(

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