18 years old and wanting kids

12 replies

Ilona

Hi ladies.
I find it really hard to say, especially at my age. But I’m 18 and have been with my boyfriend (19) for 2 years now. I have two brothers, and both of my sisters-in-law have also become young mothers (18 and 17), so I’m already a great aunt four times over. Anyway, here’s the thing: I absolutely adore children, and my desire for them grows bigger every day. We both work, but we still live with our parents. Is it weird that at 18, my desire for kids is so strong that I already want to start having them? I mean, at my age, shouldn’t we be thinking/doing other things and not even thinking about kids yet?

I’d love to hear your stories.

Best, Ilona.

Replies

DD #2

You either have a desire for children or you don't. You can't choose to not have it. Maybe because you see a lot of children around you, the desire is there for you earlier than average. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Ilona started this #3

Thanks for your reply. It's just so strange, but at the same time a nice feeling. But we both still live at home and work, just not enough to afford to rent a place or anything like that. I'm afraid we won't be able to give the baby enough like everyone else does. But you read so much about girls getting pregnant at 15 and turning out okay, but yeah.
Ilona started this #4

Any more people with stories / some experiences??
jessie95 #5

I also had a desire for children when I was 18, now I'm 20 and 11 weeks pregnant with the first one.
Ilona started this #6

Nice! Enjoy it
Sas #7

Hi Ilona,

If you're looking to start a family, maybe it's a good idea to first find a job where you can support yourselves and live together for a while? That way, you'll know if it works out for you two.
Or... maybe wait a bit longer. At your age, those feelings can sometimes go up and down.
The fact that you're asking this here shows that you're not entirely sure about it yet.
If you're doubting, I'd say wait a bit longer...
Ilona started this #8

I just think people will give you weird looks and judge you everywhere because you're so young and pregnant. You know the Netherlands; they're quick to form an opinion. Thanks for your reply!
Sas #9

Other people always have their opinions ready
jessie95 #10

If you and your partner really want it and can afford it financially, why not? Still, I think it would be nicer if you lived together first so you both have enough time for the baby. Otherwise, you'd be living with your parents and everything would have to follow their rules, which is logical since you're under their roof. Maybe your partner can't always stay over, or your parents might not be happy about having another baby in the house. I'd talk everything through calmly. I wish you all the best.
Ilona started this #11

That's right, Sas

Yes, you're right, Jessie, you do have a point, but you know, it might sound a bit weird, but if you really want it that much, you'll forget everything else around you. By the way, you'll enjoy it a lot later on. You're young parents, but by the time the kids are grown up, we'll still be young too.

Thanks so much for your responses, it really means a lot to me
jessie95 #12

Haha I know, Ilona. My husband and I wanted kids after just 3 months and hoped I’d get pregnant super fast (I was 18 then). We got married a year after we met and still weren’t pregnant (I was 19 then). I was disappointed, but finally got a positive test last June. I’ll be 21 when I give birth, and secretly I feel like this is how it was meant to be. I think if you start trying now, it might take a while too, especially since you want it sooooo badly, hihi. I know that feeling. I really hope you’ll get your wish for a baby soon. And you’re always welcome to message me if you have any questions or anything. xxx
Ilona started this #13

Haha you're right, the more you get involved, the longer it takes.

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