Couldn't fall asleep on my own

20 replies · page 1 of 2

EllenGuest · 2 months ago

Hi,

My 5-month-old son is not a good sleeper. During the day he struggles to sleep for 2 hours and at night he wakes up 3 or 4 times. We've tried everything to help him sleep better (swaddling, Puckababy, under the extractor hood, vacuum cleaner, falling asleep at the breast, co-sleeping, routines, bath time, sleeping in his stroller and crib) but nothing helps. Sometimes I feel like my only daily task is getting him to bed, and it's so exhausting! At the health center they advised letting him cry it out in his crib. I absolutely didn't want that! But because I'm so overwhelmed, I've tried it for the past 2 days. It wasn't successful; after half an hour of crying, I found him screaming, completely turned over on the other side of his crib with a red, tear-stained face.

Does anyone have any good tips for me?

Replies

Page 1 of 2

madelene 2 months ago #2

Hi Ellen, that all sounds so tough, and I find that advice pretty weird and short-sighted: letting them cry it out.

In my opinion, letting a baby cry is never good, especially not with a 5-month-old. I completely understand that you're going through it; I haven't experienced it myself—my girls slept deeply and through the whole night after 3 months. But I hear about it a lot around me and can totally put myself in your situation.

Could a cradle help?

Then it's right next to your bed and you can rock your baby in the cradle while you're just lying in your own bed. Less exhausting, I think. We had that for the first 3 months when I had to get up every time for my girl. My husband said, why don't we get a cradle? That rocking back and forth isn't much either.

And that was very comfortable, and especially when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, it was so nice. I rocked my oldest daughter to sleep without having to walk around with her in my arms. Ideal because, of course, I was sitting with my big pregnant belly.
madelene 2 months ago #3

But I’d never let him cry; it would upset him even more. Because there’s something else going on, he doesn’t cry as much. And don’t worry about him being spoiled, as some people think—that’s impossible at that age. At that age, they really need lots of attention and love; you can’t cuddle them too much. You say he struggles to sleep during the day, but what time does he sleep then? And what time do you put him to bed in the evening? Maybe he goes to bed too early in the evening, so he’s tired of sleeping again later. Greetings, Madelene
madelene 2 months ago #4

I still remember my niece who always put her twin girls to bed at 8 pm at this age. Family members, including my sister and aunt, would comment on it: "How can you put them to bed so late? They should be in bed by 7 pm, right?" But according to her, if they went to bed earlier, they would wake up four times during the night and have trouble falling back asleep. So she put them to bed later so they would actually sleep through the night, and it worked for her.
Ellen started this 2 months ago #5

Hi,

Thanks for your reply! I also thought it was a bit of a short answer from the office. She also said, "well, you can't force a baby to sleep." And I get that, but I notice he really needs it (very fussy during the day if he doesn't nap).

I try to put him down every 2 hours during the day (then I notice he gets tired). I then wrap him up, rock him under the extractor hood (this usually takes three-quarters of an hour), and once he's asleep, I put him in his own crib, hoping he'll sleep for an hour.

In the evening, I put him to bed at 7:30. I notice he's tired around 7, and I usually manage to get him to sleep by 7:30. He then sleeps until 11 (I give him a drink), then until 2 (I rock him), then until 4 (I give him a drink), then until 7 (I try to give him a drink, but he usually doesn't want it).

I haven't thought about getting a cradle yet. I'll look online for one. But when your girl no longer fit in the cradle, could she then sleep in her crib? Or did she have to get used to it again?
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #6

I'm just reading along too. I'm going through the same thing with my 4-month-old daughter and I'm really struggling with it.
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #7

Hi anonymous

Glad you understand me! But it's annoying that you're in the same boat.
It would be so nice if I could put him in his crib, sing a song, give him a kiss, and then he'd fall asleep. Now I'm stuck with this stupid colicky baby, the extractor hood, and rocking. Pfff!
What do you do to get your baby to sleep?
madelene 2 months ago #8

Hi Ellen, my girls could get used to their crib again. That bassinet was really comfortable and easy to use, and it was placed right next to our bed. So I didn’t have any issues with them getting used to it. My husband came up with the idea—he’s from a family of 12 kids, and it helped them too; his sisters were mostly difficult sleepers. That’s why he suggested using the bassinet. I hope it helps you too. I’d say give it a try!

Greetings, Madelene
madelene 2 months ago #9

One thing I was wondering: you mentioned he has trouble sleeping in the afternoon for about 2 hours.
Could it be a good idea to put that nap down a bit earlier so he might sleep more deeply in the evening?
Greetings, Madelene
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #10

No, that's not what I meant. I mean he struggles to sleep for a total of 2 hours during the day. Usually, he sleeps best in the morning (1 hour) and then has short naps of about 15 minutes each.
Mama.milan Guest 2 months ago #11

Hi there, I'm just reading along because my son also has a hard time falling asleep on his own. I went to a classical homeopath and now I feel like I'm already seeing some changes!! I got drops for whatever he was struggling with! Maybe it's worth trying??
Good luck, greetings!
irma Guest 2 months ago #12

Hi mama of Milan,

How's sleep going now?

I have a 21-month-old son who still doesn't sleep through the night. He often wakes up crying; I suspect it's almost like nightmares. So I can really relate to you.

And getting him to bed in the evening isn't easy either—it's really a drama, and I just can't handle the crying. During the day, he still manages to sleep for about 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

I do the following: around 8 PM, he goes to bed with great difficulty, and when he wakes up at night, I know he's not okay, so I bring him to our bed because the alarm goes off early in the morning anyway. But even when we're free, he's awake between 6 and 7 AM, and around 12:30 he sleeps for about 1.5 hours.
irma Guest 2 months ago #13

But otherwise, no kid can leave him behind anywhere; always friendly and cheerful, but that sleeping thing...
Every now and then he spends the night over so we can recharge, but not too often because I don't want that.
Annelotte Guest 2 months ago #14

hi irma i have 2 daughters and i'm pregnant now
my daughters are 3 and 2 years old.
you say in your post i know it's not good to sleep with you but there's nothing wrong with that though
some kids just don't sleep at all without mama well then there's no other way. nobody decides if that's good or not it's about your child at that moment. my youngest daughter fay is 2 years old and sleeps in my bed every night i lie next to her until she falls asleep it's the only way to get her to sleep so i follow my mother's heart in this and just do it with the advantage that she also sleeps nicely and we have something for our evening later we put her in her own bed
why would i make it difficult go crazy put in effort while she doesn't sleep in her own bed anyway?
you only get exhausted from it
so i just do it like that lie next to her lie with mama it saves a lot of stress
love karin
Karin Guest 2 months ago #15

Oh, it had to be Karin. Weird, there's a completely different name at the top of my post. Well, anyway, the message came from me, Karin.
irma Guest 2 months ago #16

Yeah, we do that too more often,
but sometimes a daddy and mommy moment is nice too, hihi.

Our little boy is an restless sleeper, then on his side, then on his back, tummy, etc., hihi.
Oh, you just have to put in the effort, it's like you said.
You also want to be able to sleep well yourself.
And put him down more often, stay with him because he has nightmares more often and cries while sleeping, so pitiful, but also wakes up more often and stands up in his crib.
an Guest 2 months ago #17

Hi Irma, you're right about that. And my oldest daughter also has restless sleep, constantly turning around, which is why we put her back down later. Yeah, it's sad indeed. When my youngest has a nightmare, I rub her tummy until she calms down. I'm still with her, but she stays in her own crib because if I take her out, I'm often afraid she'll wake up completely. So I put a chair next to her and calm her down a bit. And about those nightmares and waking up at night, I think it's often about processing everything they've experienced during the day.
irma Guest 2 months ago #18

Yeah, that's true, they can't tell you. It's just so sad, he's such a sweet, cheerful little guy, but then there's the sleeping and fighting against that sleep.

Anyway, I'm glad I'm not the only one. It makes you feel so insecure, and you start thinking, what else can I try? Toddler bed?? Well, he's just 21 months old, I'm afraid he'll start wandering around. I've already moved his crib, added a little lamp, everything.

Glad not to be the only mom with this problem. I think a lot of parents keep quiet about it.

But now he's already sleeping for an hour, he woke up early this morning at 6. If he sleeps until half past one now, then it's good, and tonight after dinner, the routine will start again.
Madelene 2 months ago #19

I've been letting my oldest daughter go to bed later these days. I heard from a doctor that some kids just have a different sleep rhythm and that forcing it and focusing on a fixed time doesn't really help. Just like with adults, sometimes kids just can't sleep no matter what they do. Instead of putting her to bed exactly at 8, I let her play on her tablet a bit longer until 9, and then she goes to sleep. What a difference! She doesn't complain at all and falls asleep easily. So she just needs that extra hour to sleep well.

Before, I was so focused on the 8 o'clock bedtime that I was driving myself crazy and stressing her out too.

So what that doctor said is true.

Greetings, Madelene
Irma 1987 2 months ago #20

Hi mamas, now that Dean is almost 2, he's starting to cry more. He sleeps through more often but not always. Just want to say it'll be okay! Hang in there and do it together with your partner.

One more update: around March 19th is our due date for our second miracle. Hopefully, sleeping will get better for him with more rest and routine in everything you're learning.

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