Forum Single mothers

Wanting to get pregnant with another couple

3 replies

Jade90
Hi ladies,

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Jade, I'm 30 years old, and I've always had a strong desire for children. Unfortunately, I haven't found a nice partner yet. I've always kept in the back of my mind what it would be like to be a single mom. Then one day, a couple came to me with a very special request. They asked if I would be open to having a baby together with them. The idea is that I would carry the baby, and once it's born, we would do a sort of co-parenting arrangement. I've known this couple (a heterosexual couple) for a very long time, and I honestly can't think of a better father for my children. They already have two children, who are from the woman's previous marriage.

We're planning to sit down this week to put things in writing, to see how we all feel about it and whether we can all agree on the same direction.

We've already discussed that the baby will get my last name. Since the couple I'm doing this with are in a registered partnership, the father won't be able to legally recognize the child. For us, this isn't a problem.

Does anyone here have experience with something similar? Or does anyone have tips on what we should pay attention to?

I hope there are people who can give me some good advice on this.

Lots of love,
Jade

Replies

  1. stff48 #2

    Hi Jade, what a special situation
    Chapeau if you're considering this, I personally wouldn't want to share my child with another couple.
    If I were in your situation as a single mom, I'd just go for sperm donation... but of course, everyone has their own choice!
    Wishing you lots of success in advance.

  2. Jade90 started this #3

    Thanks for your reply, stff48.
    I’ve also been thinking about it for a while, wondering if it’s better to go through a sperm donor. What gives me a good and nice feeling is that the father is always around if needed. And then still having a father and mother in his or her life. I’m still thinking it over carefully.

  3. Liha Guest #4

    Hi Jade,

    It’s been quite a while since you posted this, but I’m wondering how things have gone for you. Did you manage to set up a contract that everyone agreed on?

    I’m in a similar situation, though slightly different. During my search for a sperm donor online, I found a man who really wants a biological child and wants some contact, but doesn’t want to be a dad. He suggested the role of a distant uncle (distant because he lives in LA), where we might meet up during holidays, but I’d be raising the child on my own.

    Nothing has been finalized between us yet, and I’m a bit worried. I read somewhere that such a private contract, even drafted with legal help, isn’t valid. That the biological father can still apply for custody regardless of what was previously agreed...

    But that might have been nonsense. Someone else mentioned that if you leave the father’s name off the birth certificate, he has no parental rights or duties and can’t apply for anything either.

    Anyway, I need to dig deeper into this, so I’d love to hear how your situation has progressed!

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