Co-sleeping

Our 3.5-year-old son has always been a difficult sleeper. He doesn’t want to go to bed, and often cries at night. There have only been short periods where he actually slept well and on time in his own bed. Usually, he sleeps for about an hour, then wakes up and starts crying. But not really sad crying, more like whining. Sometimes we wonder if he’s even fully awake. Luckily, I have heeeeaaayy lots of patience

My sister has a 1.5-year-old and swears by co-sleeping. She says he protests because it’s unnatural for a young child to sleep apart. This makes it even harder for me to stick to my guns; you start feeling like you’re doing something terrible to your child. We do sometimes bring our son into our bed when we’re fed up with him constantly getting out because he’s crying again, but then neither of us gets any sleep. He tosses and turns, groans in his sleep, and we have to pull the covers off, which makes us cold, or we get a fist or foot in our face. He really kicks, not just accidentally. At those moments, he seems to prefer being in his own bed anyway. Lately, he’s allowed to stay in our bed until we go to bed, and then we secretly put him back. But then we go upstairs and he’s lying so peacefully with his cuddly toy in the middle of our bed. Aaaahhhh. And then we let him stay there sometimes. But we usually regret it later.

We’re trying for our second child, and if I get pregnant, our son will eventually have to move to the attic. We have a spacious bathroom on the first floor along with our large master bedroom and one baby bedroom. When my partner didn’t know if he wanted another child, let alone one more after that, things were different. Haha. But now I’m worried that if he won’t sleep in his own bedroom now, let alone up in the attic later. My partner says we’ll just be a year or so further along, and he’ll naturally want a cool boys’ room and his own bed. Does anyone relate to this? Sometimes we make it into a whole process, doing something exhausting in the afternoon so he gives up easier in the evening and wants to sleep in his own bed. But usually, we know beforehand it’ll be a battle, and we’ll have to go up several times, so we take the easier route and let him sleep with us again, at the cost of our own sleep.