Parenting
Sad mama
MamaGuest ·
Hi dear moms and moms-to-be..
I need to get this off my chest, maybe for some tips and advice and maybe also some understanding. I sometimes feel like such a bad mother
I have a son of 14 months and one of 3.5. I love both of them incredibly much and they are everything to me. But the 3.5-year-old can really get under my skin. Of course, it's just toddler behavior, but he can scream until your head falls off. One day I handle it better than the next, I have more patience one day than the other. Also, of course, because of the noise.. fatigue. I know that he feels that too, and it gets worse.. the more tired I am, the more annoying and extreme he becomes. He can scream, shriek, and whine so much that unfortunately, I sometimes lose my patience too and I shout or give him a smack on the bottom. I certainly don't want that, and it's also out of helplessness, and I feel incredibly guilty when I react like that, but it just gets too much for me. I work 5 mornings, and then they are with dad on Monday, and the rest of the week from 9 to 2 at daycare. The youngest just sleeps, but I notice that my oldest is tired and does miss his nap. Having another nap at home after daycare works against us because then he goes to bed too late at night. Maybe I can ask the daycare if they can let him sleep in the afternoon so he's more pleasant at home. He is indeed a different child when he's had enough rest.. it's logical, really.
We are now in the middle of a renovation, so mom and dad are tired and can handle less, and the kids are also affected by it. But I really want to enjoy myself again without shouting and fuss. I actually do know what the problem is, but I'm still incredibly frustrated about a weekend like this one that's just been a continuous fight with a toddler. I guess I just need to write it off. Tips and advice are very welcome.
Xxx
I need to get this off my chest, maybe for some tips and advice and maybe also some understanding. I sometimes feel like such a bad mother
I have a son of 14 months and one of 3.5. I love both of them incredibly much and they are everything to me. But the 3.5-year-old can really get under my skin. Of course, it's just toddler behavior, but he can scream until your head falls off. One day I handle it better than the next, I have more patience one day than the other. Also, of course, because of the noise.. fatigue. I know that he feels that too, and it gets worse.. the more tired I am, the more annoying and extreme he becomes. He can scream, shriek, and whine so much that unfortunately, I sometimes lose my patience too and I shout or give him a smack on the bottom. I certainly don't want that, and it's also out of helplessness, and I feel incredibly guilty when I react like that, but it just gets too much for me. I work 5 mornings, and then they are with dad on Monday, and the rest of the week from 9 to 2 at daycare. The youngest just sleeps, but I notice that my oldest is tired and does miss his nap. Having another nap at home after daycare works against us because then he goes to bed too late at night. Maybe I can ask the daycare if they can let him sleep in the afternoon so he's more pleasant at home. He is indeed a different child when he's had enough rest.. it's logical, really.We are now in the middle of a renovation, so mom and dad are tired and can handle less, and the kids are also affected by it. But I really want to enjoy myself again without shouting and fuss. I actually do know what the problem is, but I'm still incredibly frustrated about a weekend like this one that's just been a continuous fight with a toddler. I guess I just need to write it off. Tips and advice are very welcome.
Xxx
Replies
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Hato #2
Hey sad mama, I really want to wish you lots of strength! I understand that feeling of powerlessness so well. I have a 4-year-old and even with just one child, he sometimes drives me crazy. I also recognize those tired actions of your oldest. Mine really gets so active when he's tired. You'd almost think they get clingy and sleepy, but no, mine really gets hyperactive when he's tired. The only thing we can both do is, indeed, respect sleep times. I mean, we adults can also get very grumpy when we're tired
Children are often much happier and calmer too. Try to get some rest yourself when you can. On the weekend, you could let them both have a nap and then lie down yourself too. Really too bad about your renovation ; indeed, not handy with 2 kids. I really hope the construction work will be over soon and that you can find a rhythm for yourself and your kids where you're all very happy 
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Mama started this #3
aahh thank you for your lovely message.They get terrible when they're tired and sometimes we expect too much from them, I think. The renovation is making things better, luckily, but not always! And then they're sleeping so sweetly and that guilt creeps in about how bad of a mother you actually are. -
Hato #4
That's gladly done, girl!! And believe me: you're definitely not a bad mother. The fact that you feel guilty proves that you're a very loving mother who loves her children -
Falca #5
First of all, strength with the exhaustion, these are the hardest years. Couldn't you put him to bed earlier in the evening, like you do with him in the afternoon after daycare? My little one is sometimes in bed late in the afternoon, e.g., from half past 2 to 5, so we have dinner around half past 5 to 6, but bedtime is still 7. Often she's tired then too because she always goes to bed at 7. The only advantage I think I have is that she's still in her crib and can't get out. I don't know how it is with yours. -
Mama started this #6
Hato, thank you so much, girl
If I let my oldest sleep late in the afternoon, he doesn't get into bed until around 9 or 10 because he's too recharged. Then I have trouble getting up the next morning and probably end up with an even grumpier toddler
Today he did have to lie down for an hour at daycare—he didn't want to sleep. But at home, it was chaos again. The only upside is that they both go to bed between 6:30 and 7:30. Except for the screaming that sometimes precedes it from the oldest—it's really intense..
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