Forum Parenting

Toddler sleeping worse

5 replies

Emmy
Our daughter has been sleeping worse and worse. She had growth pains two weeks ago, but since then, the nights have been awful. Every hour she cries and calls for mom or dad. She says she has pain, but I'm sure it's not just that.
I've let her cry it out before, slept on the mattress in her room (then she does sleep...)... But I don't know how to stop this behavior.
Does anyone have experience or tips?

Replies

  1. Vera #2

    Hi Emma,
    How old is she? Could it be that she’s just scared? I was really afraid as a kid and always slept poorly. It was pretty tough on my parents. And I’d make up all sorts of things to make it clear that I didn’t want to sleep alone. Little pains, feeling unwell, you name it.
    My mom sometimes slept with me, and that helped. My parents also tried talking to me, leaving the door slightly open, getting a night light, and they’d always check in after half an hour...
    I don’t have the real solution, but this always gave me some kind of comfort. It took a long time for me, without any obvious reason (no trauma or anything like that).
    Otherwise, you could look for literature on 'the anxious child'.
    Wishing you lots of strength and success! And trust your motherly instincts.
  2. Emmy started this #3

    She just turned 2.
  3. Vera #4

    I'm a teacher and a special ed specialist, so I have that experience myself, as I already mentioned. That's why your post triggered me, and I went looking again.
    It does happen more often with toddlers of that age. I think the trick now is to find the approach that works for your little one.
    First of all, you could take another look at the day. How intense is the day, and does she get a lot of stimuli? That can also make nighttime processing difficult. Just like babies who get too many impressions during the day. They sleep restlessly or get upset.
    I also read, and I do recognize this, that your child apparently misses something when she wakes up. The pacifier, the cuddly toy, or mommy. And they get used to it when you always go comfort them.
    I myself had a small, flat cushion at one point (I was already a bit older, the sleep problems lasted for years). I had sewn something onto it myself. And that cushion was always in bed against my stomach. A sort of comfort. I lay awake for a long time regularly but didn't cry. I could lie in bed alone with my cuddly toy and cushion.
    Maybe you could make something for her that she can always have in bed as comfort. And put her calmly in bed every evening, tell her that if she wakes up, she's allowed to cry a bit and grab her cushion. And that you're definitely in the house but won't come to her right away. You could let her know you're there by going to the bathroom for a bit.
    Maybe you can take small steps like this. And often it just passes! No panic....I had it for a long time myself, and it worked out pretty well for me!
  4. Emmy started this #5

    Thanks for your reply. I’ve already had quite a few conversations with her because she seems to understand so much, from what I feel. That’s why I sometimes think she’s pulling my leg. But today, she had a lot of fingers in her mouth and was drooling a lot. I suspect teething, so it makes sense that she’s not feeling well or has pain. I hope she’ll sleep better in a week.
  5. Vera #6

    Good job! Just stay calm.
    I never believe that such young children are trying to fool you. It might seem like that sometimes, but there's always something behind it. And if you wake up in the night and feel pain or you're scared...that's not nice either!
    Good luck...and hopefully, you'll all sleep well again soon.

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