Forum Parenting

Help baby cries and screams a lot

13 replies

jessy
Hi everyone, my baby cries a lot. She doesn't do anything but scream. She has reflux but that problem seems to be resolved. But the screaming continues. (Hours on end)
Any tips... or maybe fellow parents... I'm a desperate mother.

X

Replies

  1. MamaN #2

    How old is she?

  2. jessy started this #3

    13 weeks

  3. MamaN #4

    Maybe little spasms? Or a little jump? Has it been going on for a while or since the beginning? Did it get better when reflux was discovered and resolved?

  4. jessy started this #5

    It's been like this from the start. It's getting better in the sense that she's not spitting up acid anymore and swallowing it back down! We had to stop the BV because she refused it.. referred to physio and speech therapy. Been to an osteopath but no effect.. ????
    Since starting bottle feeding, she's pooping green (pea soup)

  5. MamaN #6

    I think it's best to drop by your GP for that.

  6. Red_tears Guest #7

    Does she get special formula? With some milks, the poop is green. So that can't be bad.
    Does she get medication for her reflux?

    Keep a diary for a day and note the moments when she cries? Also write down if she has a dirty diaper, trouble with poop, hunger, cramps, just needs attention, is tired, and also how she calms down. That way you might find a pattern for why she cries.

  7. Sunshine #8

    No tips, but I’m a fellow traveler (was). My son also cried heeeeeel much during his first year. And then really hard. It drove me completely crazy. I had really dark thoughts, especially at night. I’d feel so angry and just want to shove a pillow in his face to make it stop. I was so glad my husband was there so we could take turns. I’d sometimes honestly tell my husband he needed to step in because I couldn’t take it anymore. And sometimes it was the other way around—my husband would be falling apart, and I’d take over the screaming. At some point, you feel a huge stress reaction in your own body with every little cry. That stayed with me for a really long time, even after the worst crying phase had passed. Now my son is 2 years old and a super fun little guy (still full of energy!). That first year I experienced kind of like a trauma. But.... I’ve gotten over it, because we dared to go for a third...

    Strength, it’s lead-heavy...

  8. Sunshine #9

    Oh yeah, forgot to mention: our first kid was super easy. Always slept, hardly cried. I really thought it was because of how we handled her. Until we had number 2. It helped me realize that all that screaming wasn’t due to us, but that one kid can just be really, really different from the other...

  9. jessy started this #10

    @red tears Yes, I already did that, there's no pattern. She cries more than she's calm. She gets medication for reflux, so when she's fed, she's quiet. I've been to the hospital with the doctor, but they couldn't find anything medically wrong... And honestly, I don't believe that a baby just cries because of their character. She definitely has spirit and isn't a soft little girl, but to cry (scream) so much
    @sunshine
    It's great that you're sharing this! It must have been really tough!!! I also struggle with the fact that no one around me has babies who cry a lot, or they don't say so... You feel so alone. With tips like "just put her on your upper body, babies cry anyway," I can't do anything, and those are the advices.
    You really do get worn down by it, and it's only been 13 weeks for me...
    It's so nice that it's now a sweet little boy!!! I'm looking forward to that too!
    THANKS for your last message! Because indeed, when things aren't going well, you really start thinking it's your fault????

  10. Maria #11

    Did you get allergy tests done? My brother and sister-in-law had the same with their little one; he turned out to be allergic to cow's milk, and a few other things (that only came out later when they switched to solid food). The first 7 or 8 months were no walk in the park for them either.

  11. MamaN #12

    I hate the advice "put the baby down and carry on with other things." Sorry, but when a baby cries, it just goes on through everything, especially for the mother. At some point, it just feels like a glitch in your head, I think. So I'd never give that advice to anyone. If my son is having a bad day and whines and fusses all day long, I don't suddenly stop caring when I put him down. It just wears you down..

    I agree with you that this isn't just about temperament, I think. I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that she cries for a reason, right? My sister's daughter has a standard "crying hour" from 7 to 11.. nothing works. Not the breast, not rocking, just holding her a little until it's over and she falls asleep. Very exhausting.

  12. Betty Guest #13

    Maybe wearing him helps? Or have you already tried that? Upright in a wrap or carrier.
    That definitely helped my son with his colic, especially when we were out and about, moving around.
    It sounds awful... just thinking back to his colic, let alone having it for longer periods.

  13. jessy started this #14

    @maman
    Yeah, I'm really angry about it. (Can't handle anything else right now). If I knew it was just like that... but she doesn't stop when I pick her up. But you still want to sit or walk with her when you feel like crap, you don't want to just cry alone... not me, so not a baby either. Anyway, I wouldn't let anyone with such advice babysit.

    @betty
    I have the Tula carrier. Doesn't work???? Actually, nothing works. But she's growing well etc.. looks good so yeah, then they don't really look for anything else in the hospital either.

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