5 weeks pregnant (recovering from bulimia) but feel so guilty towards my baby, does anyone have advice on this?

Hi Nas,

I can't really speak from experience since I don't have an eating disorder, but I think you're super brave for tackling this!

Being pregnant and recovering from an eating disorder seems really tough because your body is changing, which is exactly what you're struggling with...

Talk about it with your partner, family, etc. If they help you and keep an eye on you to make sure you're eating well and healthily, I think everything will be okay :-)

Love, Lie'ke

Hi Lieke,

Thanks for your message.
No, it's not that I'm scared of giving birth or that my body is going to change; on the contrary, every little bit helps. It's more about my automatic behavior, and it comes from my emotions. That's how I've always reacted, and I've had it for so long that it's literally ingrained in my posture.
I find it super difficult and am terrified of having a miscarriage if I don't change this behavior. I'd never forgive myself...

Hi!!

First of all, congratulations, girl!!

It's super brave of you to share your story here!
I personally think it's wise to start talking/stay talking to a psychologist. And really regularly, for example every week. For both yourself and your baby.

Why are you precisely afraid of getting a miscarriage? From your story, I gather that you don't have excess weight, which increases the risk of miscarriage. I personally don't think that bad diet can prevent a miscarriage. The fight you're putting up daily causes stress, which is bad for your baby. But as I read it, you're working really hard.

That nausea is quite a point for you. Can't you manage to turn your thoughts around to realize it's part of pregnancy?

Once again, very brave, and keep going!! And get extra help. The hCG hormone is only going to increase and can really do some weird things to you.

Enjoy, girl, and try to relax too. I hope you find some peace.

Love, Knufff

Hi!!

First off, about the ultrasound. I had one at the GP at 5 weeks and 6 days, and they couldn't see anything then. At 6 weeks and 3 days, the OB-GYN saw a little grey blob with a beating heart. Unfortunately, this doesn't apply to everyone, and it would probably just cause unnecessary stress. When are you going on vacation? Around 8 or 9 weeks they can already make really nice scans, and in the Netherlands, you're usually allowed to have your first scan at the GP around that time.

Girl, I had 3 miscarriages last year. I have overweight and a personality disorder. I know it's not my fault, but my feelings sometimes make me feel guilty. If it turns out to be a miscarriage, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!! (unless you smoke, do drugs, or drink alcohol) (that increases the chance, but also says nothing) Unfortunately, a lot of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. I always found it unpleasant when people said, "be glad it happened now." Now I understand that phrase. A miscarriage only happens if something is wrong. It's very sad to go through. But if you think about it, it's different.

Food in Morocco, eat what you know. Always wash fruit first, applies everywhere. Drink only bottled water, even when brushing your teeth. Bring disinfectant hand wash.

For the nausea, you can get something at the pharmacy, maybe not a bad idea in your case. Eat small bites and start before getting up. Getting up with an empty stomach is a drama. And what you're already doing really well is eating at regular times, which helps. What helped me was not being hungry; the downside was that I ate a lot throughout the day, but not more than usual. I also always have salty toast with me. If I feel sick, I eat those. And I always have water with me. Eat 2 pieces of fruit and 200 grams of vegetables and enough dairy in a day, and you're already doing pretty well. And sweets can't really do any harm.

What is bad food for you???

Love, Knufff

Oh yeah, I’d also avoid eating fish. Here it’s already quite a puzzle what you can and can’t eat. Just don’t do it in the foreign country. And otherwise just stick to the “rules.”

Hi Nas,

The best thing to do when you're nauseous is to eat small amounts regularly.
But just in the mornings and evenings, you won't get through pregnancy with that alone.
As long as you make sure you feel good in your own skin (which you don't always have control over), and try to stay as positive as possible about it, it will definitely work out.
Your baby needs mom, and this is a great start to let go of bulimia and put your baby first.. sorry, maybe I'm spelling it wrong or saying something I shouldn't.. but I just want to say go for your baby!
A miscarriage only happens for other reasons.. unless you eat something that's bad, but there's plenty of info online about what you can/can't eat.

Hi Nas,

That's great that you want to do something about it!
I went through something similar.
If you want to share your story, you can always do that via a private message or email.
My child is now a year and a half old, and I never really fell back into my old pattern!
I love my child with all my heart, and despite setbacks, I tried to always put myself aside for her.

I'll keep in touch!!

Best wishes

okay

I'm now 35 weeks pregnant and have had anorexia followed by bulimia... I'm still struggling with this and unfortunately still vomit daily. Because I was worried about my baby's health, I told my GP that I'm having trouble with food. I was referred to a dietitian. She gives me great tips on which foods are important, which foods are digested quickly, and what I should eat to avoid nausea. It's also good to ask for extra blood tests to check if you're getting enough vitamins, etc., and to check your electrolyte balance. That can be off if you're vomiting. That can be dangerous for your heart.

Good luck with it!

P.S. My baby is fortunately healthy and growing well, despite my eating problems. I'm underweight like you. I'm 158 cm and weighed 42 kg before pregnancy, now 49. Experience teaches that the baby takes what it needs. In my case, that's at my expense, but I don't mind that right now.

I think it's very brave of you.

I also had bulimia unfortunately. I'm currently seeing a psychologist for it.

I know how difficult it is, especially those binge episodes. How long did you have that for, if I may ask?

Lots of strength to you ladies! How brave you are to share your story here. I'm a psychologist myself, so I thought maybe I could offer a tip.
Good tips have already been given above.

Be kind to yourself as much as you can. You're an amazing person with so much talent, maybe you don't see it as clearly, but I'd stake my hand in the fire that you're loving and talented!
Lots of strength!

Dear ladies.

It's so good that you're writing this down. I'm a former bulimia patient myself and haven't had any symptoms for 7 years now. I gave birth to my first child on December 29th. I found the whole pregnancy difficult in terms of weight gain, but manageable. I gained a total of 17 kilos, and I could cope well with it until the end.

Now that I've given birth, it's harder. The kilos don't just disappear, and I'm getting a bad self-image again. I feel ugly and fat. I know it takes time, but my body and mind aren't in sync. It's a battle I'm fighting in my head. Fortunately, I don't have any desire to return to my eating disorder, but this is a tough period.

I wish you all the best. Oh, and I also got a super healthy baby.

How are you doing now?

I’ve been in the same situation. I suffered from bulimia for about a year. Just as I was recovering, I unexpectedly got pregnant.

The first ultrasound (9 weeks) was very special. At the second ultrasound (11 weeks), there was no heartbeat anymore.

I’m really scared that the miscarriage happened because I hadn’t taken care of myself properly for a year.

Even though I had a normal weight despite my eating disorder, maybe I didn’t have enough nutrients in my body to support a baby’s growth.