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The pain that makes you jump out of your skin is called
AnnaGuest ·
Phew hey, I need to get this guilt off my chest here :-o.
I'm a proud mom of a beautiful, feisty 2-year-old girl. Things are going really well, but over the past two years, I've still lost my temper with her 3 or 4 times without a direct reason. Often, there's a rush, she starts acting up, mom gets stressed, and bam—I snap, raise my voice, or like tonight, I yelled at her, leaving me feeling incredibly guilty. I know it's better when we're patient, and we usually are, which is why things go super well. Today was particularly tough after three broken nights with barely any sleep for any of us, plus my period, a little girl who wasn't feeling well, and then tonight, it just happened. I know I should walk away when I feel like I'm about to explode, but it just came out before I even realized it. How do you let go of this guilt? I've said sorry, explained that mom was tired and shouldn't have snapped, and we've cuddled, but I still feel so guilty and like a bad mom. Am I the only one who snaps sometimes? Any tips? Just to clarify, it happens once in a while, not daily or weekly! But my guilt is enormous :-( You're always afraid they'll love you less.
I'm a proud mom of a beautiful, feisty 2-year-old girl. Things are going really well, but over the past two years, I've still lost my temper with her 3 or 4 times without a direct reason. Often, there's a rush, she starts acting up, mom gets stressed, and bam—I snap, raise my voice, or like tonight, I yelled at her, leaving me feeling incredibly guilty. I know it's better when we're patient, and we usually are, which is why things go super well. Today was particularly tough after three broken nights with barely any sleep for any of us, plus my period, a little girl who wasn't feeling well, and then tonight, it just happened. I know I should walk away when I feel like I'm about to explode, but it just came out before I even realized it. How do you let go of this guilt? I've said sorry, explained that mom was tired and shouldn't have snapped, and we've cuddled, but I still feel so guilty and like a bad mom. Am I the only one who snaps sometimes? Any tips? Just to clarify, it happens once in a while, not daily or weekly! But my guilt is enormous :-( You're always afraid they'll love you less.
Replies
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proud_mommy #2
Hey girl. The fact that you feel guilty about it proves that you're not a bad mom. Offering apologies and giving hugs helps. She won't love you any less. Reading this, I think you're a really good mom. I think everyone has moments like this sometimes. Definitely try walking away or counting to 10. Once you get used to walking away or counting to 10, it will eventually happen on its own. -
Hartje #3
As long as the basics are solid, your baby can handle a bump or two. Kids really get you at your worst sometimes... If you notice you're too exhausted, try to hold your boundaries and ask for babysitting so you can get an hour's sleep. Sleep deprivation is a killer!
As long as you're consistently the stable presence, you'll remain that. Children are incredibly loyal and loving. But if you remain unpredictable day-to-day, that trust will gradually erode. A child like that might withdraw, but I think you'd have to severely neglect them for that to happen—and I don't think you do that at all! And yes, spend quality time together when you feel good, but don't overdo it into guilt-tripping. Just being there consistently is enough; you don't need to go all out for that. You're enough for your child—your voice, your attention, your laugh, and your compliments.
So, keep the guilt in perspective and have a backup plan ready for when you feel like it might happen again: "I need some time for myself."
It'll be fine. And honestly... as a mom, you worry so much about whether you're doing things right... -
Anonymous Guest #4
Don't feel guilty; everyone loses their patience for one reason or another sometimes. Try to recognize the signs for yourself and deal with them earlier next time. Then it might go better.
On the other hand, this also teaches your child that it's okay to get angry sometimes, as long as you talk it through afterward and apologize when you've shown "unreasonable" behavior.
And indeed, as was said earlier, as long as the basics are good, your child still loves you just the same.
As long as you don't show her every corner of the room (because that's just not possible) and it stays at yelling, it's not that bad. -
plezierig #5
Hi, you're not a bad mom at all; it happens to all of us sometimes. It's not always easy to keep your patience: you're busy, everything has to move forward, there's so much to do... I know all too well. And yeah... when you're calm again, that guilt starts to creep up. Moms are only human, with gifts and flaws. -
Moedertjuh #6
Well, girl, that's just part of being a parent
It's not all roses and sunshine all the time. And kids can definitely handle a bit of roughness. As long as you explain why you acted that way, and you're not constantly like that, there's really nothing to worry about. A mom who never gets angry is so unnatural, hihi. Kids get angry too, and in that way, they learn from you that saying sorry afterwards feels really good.
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