Biechthoekje
In-laws
RowiGuest ·
Hi there,
I really need to get this off my chest. I’ve been with my partner for 8 years, have a good relationship with my in-laws, and we both want children. We haven’t told anyone about our desire for a baby yet! I’m currently in week 6 and waiting for the right moment, hoping to hold a positive pregnancy test soon!
My in-laws are already grandparents to two kids. When the second one was born, they couldn’t get used to it; it felt weird and strange. It took a long time—about a year or more—until they really liked the second one too. Well, by then they had bonded with him anyway. The first one was different, though... I’ve heard them say this many times before, and it hurts. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it saddens me to think that my children might never receive the same amount of love as theirs.
I’m not sure how to handle this. I know I probably shouldn’t let it bother me since they don’t know we want a child anyway. I know I should just wait and see, but I have such a strong feeling about it. There are moments and comments that make me think, "See? I told you so!" I’m not jealous, but rather afraid they might not give my children enough love. I hope I’m not coming across as weird, but I wanted to share this. Maybe someone else recognizes this feeling.
Love, Rowi
I really need to get this off my chest. I’ve been with my partner for 8 years, have a good relationship with my in-laws, and we both want children. We haven’t told anyone about our desire for a baby yet! I’m currently in week 6 and waiting for the right moment, hoping to hold a positive pregnancy test soon!
My in-laws are already grandparents to two kids. When the second one was born, they couldn’t get used to it; it felt weird and strange. It took a long time—about a year or more—until they really liked the second one too. Well, by then they had bonded with him anyway. The first one was different, though... I’ve heard them say this many times before, and it hurts. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it saddens me to think that my children might never receive the same amount of love as theirs.
I’m not sure how to handle this. I know I probably shouldn’t let it bother me since they don’t know we want a child anyway. I know I should just wait and see, but I have such a strong feeling about it. There are moments and comments that make me think, "See? I told you so!" I’m not jealous, but rather afraid they might not give my children enough love. I hope I’m not coming across as weird, but I wanted to share this. Maybe someone else recognizes this feeling.
Love, Rowi
Replies
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MamaN #2
Hi Rowi,
The first grandchild is, of course, the most special for grandparents. Everything is new, and with the next one, it's already a bit more normal. That doesn't mean they'll love the next one any less. It's just a bit thoughtless of them to say that, in my opinion, but maybe they don't mean it that way. With my in-laws, my son was number 12
so it's basically like, "Cool, who's next!" You already said it yourself: you shouldn't let it get to you. Because you know, it's your first, and you'll enjoy all the new things.
As soon as you have that positive test in your hands, I think you'll worry less about it anyway! It's such a special thing, a pregnancy, no matter which one it is for you. -
rowi Guest #3
Thanks, mom,
I really hope I get over this feeling soon. I’ve thought about it and I think it’s because they’ve already gotten more in terms of love or material things. For me, that’s not a problem, but I’m so afraid they’d shortchange my kids. Since we started living together, they hardly ever visit anymore. I don’t know. After your message, I started thinking—whether I like it or not, nothing has to change, of course. I do find it strange that they’d say something like that! -
Rowi started this #4
ps we have a much better bond so it's all quite strange -
Hoi Guest #5
Why don't you talk to them about it? Just tell them you don't like it when they say they like the first one more than the rest. -
Lila Guest #6
strength!
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rowi Guest #7
Not pregnant yet, so thanks for the support. When I'm struggling, I read your replies and it helps me think clearly again. xx
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