Kids close together in age?

22 replies · page 1 of 2

AnonymousGuest · 2 months ago

Hey ladies,

I gave birth to my son 5 months ago. After a tough start, we finally got some peace and quiet after 4 months

lovely to enjoy! Because of the circumstances, I hadn't thought about contraception again. Now it turns out I'm already 6 weeks pregnant! Lightly in shock haha, but also very happy that this is granted to us. This baby is unplanned, but definitely wanted.

I'm quite practical though and see a lot of bears on the path... I still don't dare to tell at work. I'm notabene just 2.5 months back! Who else has 2 kids close in age? Are there any tips or experiences? My son will be over a year old when the 2nd is born.

Love

Replies

Page 1 of 2

Sas 2 months ago #2

Congratulations!! We have a 2.5-year gap between ours, so no experience with such a short interval. Seems pretty intense to me, but it's really nice for your kids! Enjoy it.. there are sure to be moms who have their kids close together and have tips
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #3

Thanks so much, Sas! It did seem a bit more practical if the oldest could already walk, haha. A twin is even more intense, and other moms can handle that too. But still... I know it’s going to be tough!

My mom has been looking after the oldest for 2 days now... the question is whether she can keep doing that later on. And I’ll need a double stroller... a second kids’ room... basically create extra space in our house for another room... childcare will get more expensive... and isn’t it sad for my son that he’ll have to share attention so soon? Those kinds of things

Apart from all that, I’m definitely enjoying it now. Hope everything is healthy! We can certainly offer a loving home anyway
sanne Guest 2 months ago #4

Hi hi!

My best friend, who's 36, has had 6 kids in 6 years, the youngest is now 1.
She's such a loving mom with a huge heart and tons of patience.
She lives in the countryside, but even so, she does everything herself since her husband is almost 24/7 busy with work.
So two quick ones in a row... it'll probably be okay
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #5

hahaha yes, if you make that comparison..... big respect to your friend though!
Sas 2 months ago #6

Yeah, I thought so too... but having 2 kids can also be quite intense, and I totally agree with you on that.
There's always something
madelene 2 months ago #7

I have to say, the tropen years Mijn ervaring ermee.
it seemed so nice to me to have 2 kids with not too big an age gap between them.
But in practice it wasn't that great.
I had seriously underestimated how hard it would be.
I consciously waited 3 years for the third one.
The disadvantages I experienced were:
My eldest daughter got so much less attention. Because I felt sick and awful during my second pregnancy.
She did get enough attention from others
My husband my parents
But it hurts a mother's heart so much
That you can't give her that.
If she had been older she would have understood it more
Now she didn't even realize that there was a baby in mama's belly.
She was 1 year old and so active, really overactive
Taking a break was difficult and explaining to her
That mama wasn't feeling so well didn't work
If she had been older I could have explained it.
Furthermore, my husband and I didn't consciously really catch her
First steps
Because the second one takes up so much time
What a pity
You kind of run everywhere with both of them
Instead of stopping to appreciate the development
Of your first child.
Because you don't have that time because of the second one.
Furthermore, a lot of arguing
You feel like a police officer pfff
Now they've become best friends
With secrets between them
That we're not allowed to know
So cute
But they also still fly at each other quite often.
You just have less of that when one is a bit older than the second.
Now they often want the same thing.
I'm experiencing this third pregnancy more calmly
I can explain to them now that mama needs to lie down
Or rest for a bit.
madelene 2 months ago #8

The age gap between my princesses is exactly 1 year and 9 months. So that's my experience.
kruimel 2 months ago #9

Your kids will be just 1 year and 9 months apart, but it definitely has its advantages too!

My parents have 4 kids, each 1.5 years apart. Looking at the bond I’ve always had with my siblings, and especially now... I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Since your oldest is still so young, he’ll still nap once or twice a day. So that’s quality time for the baby, and when he’s sleeping, it’s quality time for you too.

Besides, your child won’t have to adjust too much to sharing attention. It won’t take long before it seems normal to him, like it’s always been this way.

At a slightly older age, they’ll stimulate each other’s development. Think of potty training, for example.

And yes, practically it can be tough sometimes.
Keep an eye on Marktplaats for a second kids' room and stroller...
I recently scored a double stroller for €30 on MP!
Also, I’ll be carrying the baby a lot so I can manage daily tasks (walking the dog, housework) more easily.
And who knows, your oldest might already be walking by the time #2 arrives

It might not be the ideal scenario or how you originally wanted it, but don’t just focus on the bad parts!

Congratulations and good luck with everything!
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #10

@madelene
those are also my bears on the road...

@kruimel
Your comment does me good thank you! The oldest is 1 year and 1 month old when the youngest is born...he'll probably not know any better later on than that attention has to be shared with a brother/sister.

I'll definitely keep an eye out for more bargains, otherwise it's not financially feasible (because everything comes at once now).

I've also let it sink in for a few days now and I'm seeing it all a bit more positively, luckily!
mama krisje 2 months ago #11

There’s an 18-month gap between the oldest and the second child. We always wished to have them close together if it was meant to be. Although the first 5 months after birth were quite intense, there are also many advantages, as Kruimel already said. I really enjoyed that the oldest still napped in the afternoon, giving me some time to just sit on the couch (when they were both asleep) or have some quality time with the baby. And now that they’re getting a bit older (the youngest is 21 months), they really enjoy each other’s company.

My husband helps a lot around the house and with the kids, which helps immensely. But there are days when I collapse on the couch exhausted in the evening, especially now that I’m pregnant with number 3. Then the household gets a bit less attention, or the toys don’t get put away for an evening; I’ve had to learn to make choices. We have a saying on the wall: "Please excuse our mess, our family is making memories." And we’re really enjoying that!
madelene 2 months ago #12

Well explained, mama Krisje
It definitely has its beautiful sides too.
My little girls are now also very close to each other.
I really enjoy that
And we had (and still have) an interior care specialist, which saves a lot of time
with household chores. Very pleasant.
And my husband also does a lot.
Even when they were still little.
Now he also dresses them in the morning, makes breakfast,
takes them to and picks them up from school.
He cooks for us at home.
So that's also very nice.
But still, it feels like you're running through everything with both kids.
As I already said, with the arrival of the second child, for example, we had less time to focus on the development of the first child.
That sometimes hurt me.
But it has two sides.
I've also mentioned the disadvantages I experienced.
mama krisje 2 months ago #13

That's so true! With two kids, time suddenly goes by so much faster. I really notice it with the little things; I haven't taken enough photos this past year. And it's hard to do certain things with the oldest when the youngest is still too small.
They also have to adjust their schedules to each other; when the oldest goes to sports, the youngest has to come along, and when he's sleeping, he gets pulled out of bed. Those are tough moments, but it's part of the deal. That's the downside of having two.
IB 2 months ago #14

My boys are 18 months apart, a conscious choice!
It's really nice that you're still in diapers and the second one easily keeps up with everything.
Now that they're a bit older, they play really well together because they share the same world of experiences.
You can also quickly pass on clothes. We're super happy with it! Now the third one is on the way....
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #15

Your stories did me good! I’ve told my boss about it by now and he reacted very positively. That was really nice, because I was dreading telling him.

It’s all settled down a bit now and I’m actually looking forward to it! I’m even super curious what the sex of this little bee will be

During the mama bargain days, I went looking for necessary double items with a nice discount
Roos94 2 months ago #16

Oh, I totally get your story.
11 weeks ago, I gave birth to our second child. Our first child is now 2 years and 10 months old.
To our great surprise, I’m pregnant again.
And I find it really hard. I only see bears on the road..
Hartje 2 months ago #17

Oh, I'd have to get used to that too! Here, when my son is 13/14 months old, a twin will be added if everything goes well. But in my circle, I definitely know two who had theirs just as quickly as you did. It's quite a challenge at first, but then you enjoy it because they're so fun together. Can't wait to hear! Take your time to process this news; luckily, you're not pregnant for nothing for 9 months!
Stef 2 months ago #18

Amazing rose and heart I hope sooo hard that when this little boy is born, I can get pregnant again soon (if everything goes well, of course)... we want 3 kids... my oldest son is 10 now...
A big congratulations....
Gast Guest 2 months ago #19

Here too, maybe pregnant again. Gave birth 6 weeks ago and maybe pregnant again now, just waiting to see...
Stef 2 months ago #20

Are you breastfeeding?

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