Forum From Baby to Toddler

not enjoying the baby

3 replies

bayGuest ·
I gave birth 3 months ago. My son is doing really well; he eats well, sleeps well, and laughs a lot. Nothing to complain about, so plenty of reason to enjoy myself. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for me. Maybe it’s because I’m still not quite back to normal since giving birth, but I’m not enjoying it much.

I hear from almost all women how amazing it is to have a baby and that they’re on a pink cloud. Well, I can’t wait until he’s old enough to go to the playground with me, craft together, and bake cookies, but unfortunately, that’s still a few years away.

Am I really the only woman who doesn’t find the whole baby thing appealing?

Replies

  1. madelene #2

    No, that's not weird at all.
    Some women have less time with the baby and more time once they're older.
    I think it becomes more and more enjoyable as they get older.
    But I always enjoyed the baby phase so much.
    Even though I suffered terribly from postpartum tears, I quickly missed the baby phase again.
    And especially when they were 5 months old, I found it a wonderful period to enjoy.
    Now they're toddlers, and I often get emotional thinking about how big they're already getting; I'm having some trouble with that.
    When they start school and go to the playgroup, a nice period will begin too
    It gets more and more fun.
    And it's really normal that you experience it this way now. Everyone is different; every mother experiences the baby phase in her own way.
    And every mother experiences it differently.
    Greetings, Madelene

  2. Esra♡♥ #3

    HONESTLY SAID... it's not supposed to be like that... as a brand-new mom, you're supposed to be on your pink cloud and enjoy your baby... very rarely... other reasons can disturb this feeling of happiness.

    Traumatic birth... anxiety... or your hormonal balance that's completely messed up...

    So it's no shame at all to go to your GP and talk to him or her about it Often, they can help you get everything clear. Maybe it's just a small thing you absolutely can't do anything about, but that can be resolved... and then it would be a pity if you missed this precious, beautiful time...

    Dear girl... don't be ashamed.... I think it's great that you want to share this here

    I hope you can see my advice positively and make a no-obligation appointment on Monday with your doctor. Bonding with your baby is sooooo important for him/her but also for you... don't feel guilty... you can't help it...

    Good luck... and you're always welcome to ask for advice or share your story.

    Lots of love...

  3. Ikke* #4

    Hi Bay,

    Totally relatable. I didn't enjoy the baby phase at all either. At the time, it was really hard to admit because people expect you to love it, but after almost 22 months, I can look people in the eye and tell them I really struggled back then...

    What helped me a lot were websites like "Mama Baas" and "Gentlemom" and books in a similar vein: the point is always the same, namely "clouds come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. Yes, there are pink ones, but just because pink clouds exist doesn't mean everyone you meet will see them. And that's pretty okay."

    Mine were mostly gray, but I can now say that I enjoy it much more than about a year ago: my son is a bit older (almost 2) and we have a lot of fun together. But even now, there are moments when I genuinely say: "being a mom, it's not for me."

    Talk to your midwife or a trusted person about it; they can often help you further too.

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