Fertility
Just wanted to share a story...
Olijfje
Hi!
I'd really like to share my story here... I think it does you good to talk to others here about it, whether they've experienced the same or not. I won't go into too much detail regarding the timeline, to keep some anonymity :-) But it's a relatively short period...
So, I've had two miscarriages so far. The first one was really, really heavy. Two D&C procedures, it was quite rough (lost a lot of blood), had to go to a specialist etc. This took almost a year. Really incredibly heavy. Started over with a lot of courage, got pregnant again quite quickly but unfortunately had another miscarriage. Fortunately, this time it passed naturally. But oh... we were so happy when we found out we were pregnant again, that I really didn't think it could go wrong again. That sobering reality was so incredibly big and confronting. Now I understand it: "A miracle". That term is so correct, nature is something beautiful, but so terribly complex but fortunately also correct. Because of course we'd all love to have a healthy baby. Who wouldn't? Meanwhile, round two times 2. Normally a long cycle of 31 days, but this time I suddenly got my period after 26 days. What is that, I thought?! It only lasted 3 days. My gut says: "Take a test then!", but I'm SO scared to test positive and then have another miscarriage. Or just test negative (which probability is bigger, of course). I had actually decided not to test too soon after all that hassle. My legs feel incredibly tired and exhausted, but otherwise nothing special. Two other times I had very sore breasts! So presumably, let's go, up to the next!
Olijfje
I'd really like to share my story here... I think it does you good to talk to others here about it, whether they've experienced the same or not. I won't go into too much detail regarding the timeline, to keep some anonymity :-) But it's a relatively short period...
So, I've had two miscarriages so far. The first one was really, really heavy. Two D&C procedures, it was quite rough (lost a lot of blood), had to go to a specialist etc. This took almost a year. Really incredibly heavy. Started over with a lot of courage, got pregnant again quite quickly but unfortunately had another miscarriage. Fortunately, this time it passed naturally. But oh... we were so happy when we found out we were pregnant again, that I really didn't think it could go wrong again. That sobering reality was so incredibly big and confronting. Now I understand it: "A miracle". That term is so correct, nature is something beautiful, but so terribly complex but fortunately also correct. Because of course we'd all love to have a healthy baby. Who wouldn't? Meanwhile, round two times 2. Normally a long cycle of 31 days, but this time I suddenly got my period after 26 days. What is that, I thought?! It only lasted 3 days. My gut says: "Take a test then!", but I'm SO scared to test positive and then have another miscarriage. Or just test negative (which probability is bigger, of course). I had actually decided not to test too soon after all that hassle. My legs feel incredibly tired and exhausted, but otherwise nothing special. Two other times I had very sore breasts! So presumably, let's go, up to the next!
Olijfje
Replies
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Beertje #2
Olijfje, I'm so incredibly sorry for what you've had to go through. A miscarriage doesn't just sit there in the cold; it really gets to you, especially when it doesn't happen naturally. It's awful how things went for you afterwards.
Unfortunately, I had 3 miscarriages in one year. After the first one, I never even considered that it could go wrong again. It never even crossed my mind. Until two days before the ultrasound. Something inside me said it wasn't right. I pushed that feeling away quickly. I didn't think about it anymore. At the scan, it turned out the heartbeat had stopped. I was supposed to be 9 weeks and 1 day, and our baby had grown to 9 weeks. That was so hard.
You lose a child every time, that beautiful vision of the future. The grief is indescribable. Especially when you go through it multiple times, and then have a terrible experience as well........
What you should do is whatever feels best for you. If testing gives you more peace of mind, then do that. You can also wait until your period is due and see what happens then. Your cycle might still be off. There's no right or wrong here.
When I "feel" pregnant and could test positive, I always get an Action test. Just for reassurance. I know I can't be pregnant. My mind needs to actually see it. Every time, there's still a little hope, and every time, that fear that we might miscarry again.
By now, I'm a mom to a baby girl who is almost 7 months old. From the start of that pregnancy, I knew it was going to be okay. I wasn't scared at all. There wasn't a moment where I was afraid of a miscarriage. I really knew this was our child, no matter what.
It's truly a miracle!
Girl, I hope things get better for you soon! That you can enjoy a beautiful pregnancy and a sweet little baby.
For now, a big virtual hug!
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