Fertility
Just letting you know my story
ClaraGuest ·
Hi everyone,
Just wanted to share my story. I don't really talk to anyone about it, but I thought it might be nice to get it off my chest.
My boyfriend and I have been trying for a year now. I got pregnant in the fourth month, but had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. Two months later, I was pregnant again, and had another miscarriage. I was really anxious during that pregnancy, and very sad when it ended. Now it's been seven months since then, and no pregnancy yet. My boyfriend is a bit older and has talked about this with his friends who are already parents. It's fine, but it sometimes makes me feel pressured too. My girlfriends are all pregnant now too. They know we're going to try again, but I don't feel like telling them everything about what happened last year.
In six weeks, we have an appointment at the hospital to have things checked. After the second miscarriage, they already looked at my uterus and ovaries, and everything seemed fine.
So far, it's been an exhausting, sad, and lonely process. We totally underestimated it; so naive. And having all my friends around me getting pregnant (after just two months of trying) doesn't make it easier either.
Are there more people here who had a hard time getting pregnant, but have tips on how to stay mentally strong?
Just wanted to share my story. I don't really talk to anyone about it, but I thought it might be nice to get it off my chest.
My boyfriend and I have been trying for a year now. I got pregnant in the fourth month, but had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. Two months later, I was pregnant again, and had another miscarriage. I was really anxious during that pregnancy, and very sad when it ended. Now it's been seven months since then, and no pregnancy yet. My boyfriend is a bit older and has talked about this with his friends who are already parents. It's fine, but it sometimes makes me feel pressured too. My girlfriends are all pregnant now too. They know we're going to try again, but I don't feel like telling them everything about what happened last year.
In six weeks, we have an appointment at the hospital to have things checked. After the second miscarriage, they already looked at my uterus and ovaries, and everything seemed fine.
So far, it's been an exhausting, sad, and lonely process. We totally underestimated it; so naive. And having all my friends around me getting pregnant (after just two months of trying) doesn't make it easier either.
Are there more people here who had a hard time getting pregnant, but have tips on how to stay mentally strong?
Replies
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Floor Guest #2
Hi Clara, isn't it hard sometimes, you know, the whole journey of wanting kids and being pregnant. Especially when you also have to process 2 miscarriages. I know the pain of how everyone just gets pregnant "easily" and unfortunately it's not fairly distributed in the world who gets to be a dad and mom and when. It's not like if you try really hard, it will work out. And that makes you feel insecure and sad. I wish you someone in your environment that you can talk to about this, because yes it's not always easy. We also have friends for whom it's not working out (one couple got a baby with the help of IVF and another couple is still trying) and we don't have to talk about it all the time, but it's nice that there's space for your feelings. Try to hold on to the fact that you're going to get help soon with the medical process. That's nice. And talking to others here is also nice. I think there's also a medical rollercoaster group. It's nice that this can be a bit anonymous and we all like to talk about the same thing here. Lots of love! -
Mila Guest #3
Good for you for having Clara written off, and I also know the feeling of loneliness and being underestimated. Luckily, I haven't had a miscarriage yet; it seems terrible to me. Every time, the disappointment and the doubt about whether we'll ever make it happen make it hard. I also talk about it with a friend. That's nice, but every month she's now expecting a result too. So, in my opinion, even more pressure! And my partner is very relaxed about it. He says it's like a lottery and we haven't had luck yet. He doesn't believe in a schedule for intimacy, certain positions, etc. He also thinks it's a pity that it hasn't happened yet, but he remains positive. And your partner? -
Clara started this #4
Thanks for your responses, it's nice to receive support this way. My partner is really great to go through this with. It's tough for him too, but he understands me well and comforts me every time tears come. But it's hard for him too, especially since there isn't really much to comfort him with. -
Choppa #5
Hi Clara,
The only tips I can give are: find distractions. Visit family, make plans with friends who aren't pregnant, go away for a day or weekend now and then. Also find distractions at home. And it's nice that your partner supports you!
My partner and I (I'm 33) still haven't been able to get pregnant. I have an irregular cycle (between 15 and 42 days, average between 26-32 days), so sometimes I think I ovulate very early or skip an ovulation). We've been trying for almost a year now and are on the waiting list for the gynecologist. I recognize the feeling of frustration and sadness when seeing that it's so easy for others and not for yourself. My sister (we're twins) is now pregnant with her second child. Proud aunt, but somewhere inside it hurts that it's not yet granted to us (us). Since my puberty, I've felt that pregnancy wouldn't be a given for me. It's annoying that this seems to be coming true now. I feel like I'm letting my partner down while the cause could lie with both of us. We can see the doctor in about 8 weeks at the earliest, depending on developments regarding the coronavirus due to hospital occupancy. Exciting!
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