Can't stand anything from my mother-in-law

Why do you hate it?

I wish I had my in-laws here... they live abroad, and my mom passed away... I really wish our little one had a fun family and grandparents, but unfortunately not. We definitely chose to have kids ourselves, but I really wish she had grandparents.
You probably have your reasons, but I think hate goes too far.

Grow up, please.
Put your own feelings aside for your child.
And look at things more positively.

I’d rather not have my MIL holding the little one either. My partner doesn’t want that either. But my MIL is very manipulative. Even when she doesn’t get her way, she plays on emotions. Once, the little one had just gotten her vaccinations. But after getting them, she sleeps all day. So my MIL wanted to come over, and I already told her I couldn’t let her hold the baby because I just want her to sleep.
She got super mad and said: "But I’m her grandma."
I told her that I’m her mom, and being grandma doesn’t mean she has rights when it comes to the little one.
Haven’t had any issues with her since haha

Hey girl, I feel you! I’m also 14 weeks pregnant and I have to put my baby with them when I go back to work. I absolutely don’t want to, but they’re my husband’s parents, so I have no choice. He doesn’t want to pay for childcare if we can give it to them. But what I can’t stand is that they think it’s their child and give it all their attention, or they don’t feed the baby on time, and then we have problems in the evening with the baby (experience from my 2 daughters). And when they were a bit older, at 1 year old they already gave cola and sweets etc... which we try to avoid and want to eat healthy and organic. But the more I say it, the more they do it. I’m already so stressed just thinking that I’ll have to give my baby to them soon. I’ve already reduced my hours to 20 hours per week after the birth to give them less time with the baby, but it’s still 5 hours with them. Good luck, girl.

I also get the jitters from my mother-in-law.. I can't do anything about it. The kids don't think much of her either. They have an 'grandma' here (my mom) and 'the other grandma' (mother-in-law). She babysits one afternoon a week and she's crazy about the kids in her own weird way, but man, man, I get so irritated by her.. the type of person who makes absolutely no effort for the kids, doesn't give them attention in the sense of hugs/kisses or nice playtime, but buys big presents and only gives them tons of candy, as if that's all there is to it.

But she's also not quite right, so I can't really blame her. I mostly do that afternoon babysitting just for my partner.

Our little girl is 8.5 months old, and unfortunately, I sometimes get the jitters from my mother-in-law. This has arisen from all the well-meaning advice that felt more like criticism. For instance, she wondered why I didn't give my then 6-week-old daughter water when she had hiccups. And why I didn't give her baby food in the evening. Why I held her so much. That I should use diaper cream, even though she didn't have a rash. Why I don't let her get her ears pierced (which I absolutely don't want) so casually. I've already pointed out a few times that we do things our own way. But unfortunately, it doesn't stop. This makes me not want to visit her. And I'd rather not have her here either.

I think it’s awful too. My mother-in-law ‘lives’ for my kids in a pushy, desperate way. She’s just about pulling my child out of my arms when we’re there. And she doesn’t give her back when she’s crying—I really have to step in and say up to 2 or 3 times: “Can I have her back NOW?” She meddles in every little thing. I’m going crazy over that person.