Forum 1st trimester

Drank quite a bit of alcohol when I didn't know I was pregnant yet, help!

67 replies · page 1 of 4

KATIEGuest ·
Ladies, I have a question.
When I didn't know I was pregnant yet, we had a work event that week and I drank quite a few glasses of wine on two evenings. Two days later, when I was at home, I took a test because I was supposed to get my period that weekend, and yes, I was pregnant! (What great news!!) In the weeks before, I had also had a few evenings with some wine, quite a bit. Naturally, after the test, I drank absolutely nothing more (so from 6 weeks pregnant, nothing more). When I had drunk the alcohol, I was about 3 weeks "actually" pregnant, and if you count from the first day of your last period, I was 5 weeks.
I know I can't turn back time, but I still feel guilty and worry if something might have gone wrong with the development of my (now 20 weeks pregnant) baby. Does anyone have experience with this?
Katie

Replies

Page 1 of 4

  1. Jenny #2

    Hi Katie,

    Good news for you: in the first few weeks, your baby mainly uses its own reserves, so alcohol does less harm. Repeated alcohol use during your pregnancy can really be harmful, while occasional drinking is never good either but won't directly cause a delay.

  2. Olivia-Anna #3

    Just quickly looked it up (it's incredible how fast people forget)
    "There is direct contact with the bloodstream from the 4th week. Before that, the fetus lives off the yolk sac, which is part of the egg. If you used harmful substances before that time, you don't need to worry. From the time your period is missed, it is absolutely necessary to stop with.."
    So I think the chance is really small that your baby was affected.
    I actually find it nice to hear that there are still people who (like me) consciously try to avoid anything harmful.
    Don't worry too much!!

  3. Anonymous Guest #4

    Hi ladies, thanks for the reassurance.

    Olivia, quick question: is the 4 weeks they're talking about from conception or from the first day of your last period? You know what I mean. So I had alcohol (quite a lot and regularly) until 3 weeks after conception, but officially I'm 5 weeks pregnant. .....thanks in advance.

    Katie

  4. Olivia-Anna #5

    Hey Katie
    Well, they say 4 weeks after conception—so 2 weeks past due.
    So basically, you had a week of drinking when you really shouldn’t have.
    One of my sisters went completely hysterical when she found out she was pregnant; she’d just done a pub crawl two days before!!
    But her little one turned out totally fine, by the way.
    Quick question: did you only drink wine?
    If so, that’s really the least of worries!! There are so many who keep drinking wine (I think it’s irresponsible and not worth the risk!!)
    But it’s a big difference compared to hard liquor!!

  5. KATIE started this #6

    Hi Olivia,
    Okay, well then it should be fine. Yes, only wine—I never drink hard liquor. But I was pretty drunk on Wednesday evening, and on Friday I found out I was pregnant. Some women drink a glass of wine now and then, and that’s totally their own decision, but I feel so bad for the little one who can’t break it down at all!
    But if they talk about 4 weeks after conception, then I have absolutely nothing to worry about because I drank (quite a bit) until 3 weeks after conception...
    Thanks!!
    Katie

  6. Lotte #7

    Hi Katie,

    Let me start with the good news: there's probably nothing wrong. It's only important that you don't drink once the neural pathways are being formed. Also, recent research has shown that wine isn't all that harmful.

    On the other hand, it's well known that alcohol can be harmful to your baby, and you're running the risk that damage may have already been done. Fortunately, there's such a thing as plasticity. This means your baby is fully capable of compensating for any damage that might have occurred. If damage did happen (which I don't think it did, by the way), it would likely show up as behavioral or concentration problems at a younger age. Your child can grow out of it.

    What I never really understand is why you'd still drink when you know you could be pregnant. You were there, hopefully, when you had sex. You know that can happen. I hope this will be a learning moment for you, because you really need to take better care of yourself and your child over the next 19-25 years

  7. Katie Guest #8

    Hi Lotte,

    Thanks for your email. Very helpful. Personally, I didn't need that last sentence, but if it makes you feel better, that's fine with me. I've been taking good care of myself for 30 years now, and I know I'm already doing a great job looking after my baby, so "improvement" in that area is totally unnecessary, even for the future. And someone who doesn't know me personally doesn't really need to judge that. But if it makes you feel good, great. You're going to be an amazing mom, the kind every kid dreams of! A mom who never makes mistakes or steps outside the "guidelines"—hat's off to you.

    But again, thanks for the further explanation, it's clear!

    Best,
    Katie

  8. Nicole Guest #9

    Hi Katie,

    There are really a lot of women who don't know they're pregnant in the beginning. And drinking alcohol and having a good time partying (speaking from experience here). When I found out I was pregnant, I felt guilty just like you did. What the midwife said to me was: "Girl, don't stress. You now know you're carrying a baby, so enjoy it and eat and drink healthily."

    Well, I think you're already a super mom. Because if it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't have started this topic.

    So I say, enjoy your pregnancy!

    Best, Nicole

    PS: Lotte, I find your story quite harsh, thoughtless, and naive, to be honest. It's also very judgmental, while your question clearly shows concern and a very beautiful sense of responsibility. I wasn't thinking about getting pregnant at first, taking the pill, etc. And then I turned out to be pregnant due to contraceptive failure... and it's been the same partner for a long time now. So welcome, but I've also drunk wine. So I understand Katie's concern.

    Girls, good luck with your pregnancies!

  9. Olivia-Anna #10

    Yes, I agree with Nicole!!
    I also didn't drink anymore when we "started"
    but your reaction makes someone who already feels guilty feel even more guilty.
    In this whole forum, I think tact is in place, especially for those asking for advice
    and who really want to do it RIGHT like Katie!!
    For this kind of remarks, there are plenty of forums with ***mothers who love showing off that they want to do their thing (smoking, drinking, drugs).
    This is the first forum where I don't get annoyed to death by its visitors.
    There are plenty of those, believe me
    that's why I found this a fantastic forum with people like Katie!!

  10. Anonymous Guest #11

    Hi Nicole and Olivia-Anna,
    Thank you for your responses. I feel much better now. I did feel a bit more guilty, but I don’t think I deserve that. I was worried I had misread Lotte’s comment, but after reading it again, I think; that’s not how I would ever “attack” someone.
    So thank you for your kind words!
    Best wishes,
    Katie

  11. A K #12

    Lotte, thanks for your reply, but the last paragraph is really unnecessary here. If you feel like picking a fight, you can do that somewhere else.

  12. Olivia-Anna Beekman #13

    I've never seen Brabbels respond on the forum before. I find this really positive!!

  13. moederlief #14

    Hi there!

    I'm also pretty new to the forum. What I want to say to you is...

    I also drank before I knew I was pregnant. The weekend before, I had a party and yes, I got drunk. It wasn't wine, but Bacardi Cola, and not just one drink, but several. We were trying to conceive, but it had been a while, and we didn't expect it to happen so soon. That's life, right?

    I tested one day before my expected period and yes, it was positive. I was only 4 weeks pregnant, but I felt guilty, and I still do a bit. But we can't turn back time. I stopped smoking right away—I used to be a heavy smoker, but one day I just quit. Now I eat healthily, drink healthily, and don't smoke anymore. We're all doing our best! Don't blame yourself. If you had known, you never would have done it. It's that simple!

  14. Tineke #15

    I always say this: there are so many moms who only found out they were pregnant after the test... And who lived it up in the weeks before... And so many healthy babies are born! I wouldn't worry too much either! Moms who live super healthy also have a chance of having unhealthy babies... Just enjoy your little life in there! Everything will be fine!

  15. * #16

    @Katie,
    You didn't drink intentionally, did you? You didn't know you were pregnant yet.. By the way, I think it's great that Brabbels separates the wheat from the chaff..
    Don't let anyone talk you into anything, and if all goes well, you've had your 20-week scan too, how was the 20-week scan?? All positive...

    Cheers Ju

  16. * #17

    @Katie,
    That's great news that everything is okay.
    We're also having a baby boy and we're so happy about it, in November too, just like you.

    Love, Ju

  17. Olivia-Anna #18

    That's so nice to hear that everything is okay!!
    And you're due in November too? How lovely!!

  18. Cin #19

    I couldn't do that back then;-) But she hasn't done it for years now... the oldest is 12... and the youngest is 3..
    I know it was like that with the oldest... I don't think so with the others.. But she had naturally had quite a bit to drink and eat, just like us, which actually isn't supposed to be said like that.
    She just took the pill... and three times she got pregnant anyway.. and still had her period, just in smaller amounts... Weird right 3 times... I didn't know what I heard back then;-)
    Well, that lady nr 2 I also find quite ASO you know... and I totally don't understand it either... I mean, it's good she doesn't have children (you're not supposed to say that), but how she sees it, I also don't think is normal.
    You made a good choice, it's better to just leave, you won't get anywhere with this kind of discussion..

  19. Olivia-Anna #20

    No, she was really mean to us!! I would never say something like that on my own.. (And she chose not to have kids)
    We were literally naive and believed everything they told us..
    Ruined the evening a bit..
    You expect to be praised like nr 1 (haha) did
    but with nr 2 we were almost attacked.. Stupid right..

    It's funny how so many women want a child and do everything to get it, but it doesn't work out, and the other one does her best to avoid it and gets pregnant..
    Fortunately, despite this, she chose to keep them!.. I think abortion is the worst thing a woman can do..

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