Forum 2nd trimester

My husband doesn't get it at all!!

62 replies · page 2 of 4

Replies

Page 2 of 4

  1. Dani #21

    So nice to see your message, Olivia-Anna!
    Funny how he starts chatting, the dad here sometimes suddenly comes up to me and gives his kid a kiss, and yeah, he does talk to him too.
    But luckily he doesn’t spit up, and I haven’t either, not even once since I got pregnant!!

  2. Olivia-Anna #22

    Hey Dani
    It’s really going well again now.
    Usually, when he says something I don’t agree with (or vice versa), and I get a kick right at that moment, I immediately hear:
    "See! Even my daughter agrees with me.." hihi
    No, I’ve never had to throw up either.
    And I only felt nauseous during the first week. So glad about that!!

    How’s it going for you otherwise?

  3. Dani #23

    We're getting used to the idea (as much as possible) that our baby very likely has Down syndrome.
    I have to say that "getting used to it" is going pretty well, though I expect I'll be upset again after the next ultrasound. But that's always been the case, and we just have to keep going, right?
    Our little one is moving a lot and is very present. Especially during moments when I'm feeling low, I get kicks, as if to say: "It'll be okay, mom, I'm here "

  4. kimjoy #24

    You express everything so well and beautifully, Dani!

  5. * #25

    @Olivia-Anna,
    Yes girl, I'm happy you're back above water.
    It's nice that you have everything under control so well.
    Yes, you know how it is, the more they protest, the more emotional they get about that pancake of yours.

    Well girl, stay strong and don't let us hear from you for so long again.

    Kind regards,

    Ju

  6. Olivia-Anna #26

    Dani,
    I can imagine that everything is wonderful for someone who is pregnant, like an ultrasound,
    but for you right now it must feel very bittersweet!
    Still, I think it's lovely how you're handling it. Let your little hummeltje comfort you; soon the roles will be reversed.
    I hope you can share it with someone who has a shoulder to lean on.

  7. Olivia-Anna #27

    Hey Kimjoy,
    Thanks a lot, yeah I think it's indeed a form of Couvade,
    I find it quite funny except for the hormones, those are really ??

    And I don't have any issues with Woehahaha!!

  8. Dani #28

    Thanks Kim, it's exactly how I feel and experience it. Not always so positive, though—sometimes I really get off track, but after a good cry, I pick myself back up again. Together, and that's so good!

  9. Dani #29

    Hi Olivia_Anna

    That's definitely true what you're writing, it's really a double-edged sword.
    We also want to see our little one, but I'm still scared at every ultrasound about what they'll find this time.
    My partner and I are in this together, supporting each other, talking a lot, but we also have fun being silly together and go out regularly.

  10. Dani #30

    Lies,

    your post makes no sense.
    Please read a topic through carefully first and avoid using all caps.
    We can read just fine, and it comes across as quite shouty.... it's no trouble to reply normally.

  11. kimjoy #31

    Wow, what a reaction!
    Dear Lies, this is exactly a forum where we don't judge each other but give calm, honest opinions!

  12. Monkey #32

    Hey

    Sounds familiar..
    I gave birth 3 months ago, and I feel like he sometimes finds it harder than I do.
    He works part-time (because he's of foreign origin and hasn't found a full-time job yet), so we're often home together; I think this bothers him because I can't do anything right.
    During the weekends in peak season, he works at festivals, so he's away for a day or 2, 3, 4.. Sitting home alone, I also don't really feel like it, so I go stay with my parents for a few days.
    So we had this situation recently. The guy comes home Sunday night (he left Friday morning).
    Tuesday morning he already started,
    'I worked 3 days straight, 35 hours in total, and I come home and nothing has been done' 'Did you forget the laundry again?'
    'I've had to wash dishes by hand for 3 days now, because you always forget to turn on the dishwasher.'

    Today we went to the supermarket, but I left my bank card at home. Naturally, a whole bunch of 'This is the last thing I can use' 'You've never forgotten your bank card before, why suddenly now?'
    So I said; okay, you stay home with A then, I'll go back to the store alone WITH the bank card. A whole hassle on the way back to the store, because I got nervous. When I finally got home, I was a bit calmed down, my husband gave me A. I asked if he had changed the diaper 'No.. I worked all day.'
    Yeah right, and I lay in bed all day..

    Sometimes I really think that men just don't want to understand how hard it is for a brand-new mom.
    I tried to make it clear to him that if you've just become a mom, you can't immediately be both the perfect housewife and the perfect mom.
    If I have to choose between doing the laundry or comforting my son, the choice is made quickly.

  13. Lenita29 #33

    So MsMi

    Just give him to me for a week!! He’ll go crazy! Because I really won’t tolerate that from any guy... I’m seriously a bitch, believe me. Don’t let anyone walk all over me. I’ve been through enough in my life as a little kid. And I’ve always said never let any guy intimidate me or anything. Seriously, stand up for yourself.

    And indeed, you know when you have kids that there are other things much more important than laundry or housework. Okay, I’m seriously a neat freak... but I’m also sometimes really exhausted. And then I do let it show.

    I would’ve really said about those groceries... fine, then don’t eat. And I’d really walk out of the store... That’s nice hahaha!!! 3 days 35 hours??? Laughing... Sorry.. but my man works 9 weeks now 12 hours a day.. and then another half Saturday.... It’s not meant to be mean to you.. really not negative. But I can get so angry about it. And my guy doesn’t complain either when I really can’t do anything. Yes, it’s simple.. then we just order something or whatever.

    I can really get worked up about women who are treated like this. Because being pregnant is no joke, I’ve noticed. It’s a shame that men can’t just spend a few weeks with all these ailments and weight to feel what it’s like... and ugh oh yeah.. all those hormones!

  14. * #34

    @MsMicevski,

    Meissie, what is your guy up to? It reads like he has very little respect for you.
    I really don't get it at all. Your guy has a beautiful wife and a great mother for his child... I don't understand why you let him dictate things to you. Tell him to get his lazy ass off the couch, sorry for my language.
    He should at least change his son's diaper; that's the least he could do for you, while you, on the other hand, work, do the groceries, and it's not normal...

    Give him a piece of your mind, or give him a week with Lenita or with me. I absolutely can't stand this behavior. I've made it clear to my partner that he needs to be there for his family.
    It takes almost a year for hormones to get back to normal... Some support from your partner wouldn't go amiss.
    By the way, you can always share your story with us, Meiss... There are plenty of listening ears and eyes :-).

    Love and stay tough....

  15. zwijgt #35

    Same here

  16. zwijgt #36

    I expect she might be tactlessly hinting at the argument that the man in question is probably Moroccan.

  17. zwijgt #37

    Also a Dutch guy with quite a bit of temper. Where staying calm and quiet doesn't help either, because then you come across as a caregiver and it makes it even worse .

  18. Lenita29 #38

    Well, luckily I don't have that kind of man He really helps me with everything when I can't do something. I really hit the jackpot....

  19. dammie #39

    Pff, what a story... luckily I have a sweet man too. He's also affected by his hormones hihi but is more worried about me. He wants to do everything for me...

  20. Anonymous Guest #40

    He’s such a caring guy here too. He wants to do everything for me. I was pretty sick last night, and even though he had to work the next day, he came downstairs and stayed by my side the whole time. I told him he could stay in bed, but he didn’t want to. He understands my moods and everything. When my hormones are acting up, he handles it perfectly.

    It seems really hard if your husband doesn’t understand you. My husband always says we chose this together, and we’ll face it together too. When our first was born, he told me to take it easy because he had been running around like crazy. He gave me all the time I needed to get into a rhythm. Our daughter is three now, and if she needs a lot of attention one day and I can’t do much around the house, he helps me in the evening. And if I can’t do anything anymore because of my current pregnancy, he takes care of everything, and I don’t even have to do anything. Well, I can sit and rest, because it’s all about me and the little one. Of course, our daughter comes first, hehe.

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