unexpectedly pregnant

Oh my god Rhea, what a situation.

I totally understand that you want your baby to have 2 parents and I think that's really good of you.

You do need to realize that what your friend is doing right now is unacceptable. Of course he was startled and I get that, but 8 weeks later that should be over. You're pregnant and you're keeping the baby. That's how it is and no other way.

For him it's about looking to the future and not making accusations against you. Whether you two should stay together I don't know. I hope so for you but if it's not there, it's not there.

Rhea - that's absolutely terrible for you! I don't know you or your partner, of course, but I think it's best to try to have a calm conversation with him. It's understandable that he's startled. You probably are too! Blaming each other won't help anymore.

By the way, many men only realize how amazing it is to have a child once the baby is actually here. Maybe he needs a bit more time to adjust - but even so, he/anyone has no right to hurt you/another person in this situation. You and your baby are worth more than that!

I think he also needs to decide whether to stand by you and your child or not...

Wishing you lots of strength! I really hope you can work things out together, but if not, then on your own - you seem very sensible/strong because, from what I hear, you're weighing all the options and definitely want to choose for your/your child to grow up in love. I think you can be very proud of yourself!

Once again, lots of strength - I hope that despite the problems, you can enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible! (because it's fantastic to get to be a mother :-))

Hi there,
I got pregnant while on the pill when I was 19. My boyfriend then gave me the same options... Eventually, he (slowly) disappeared from my/our life during the pregnancy. My daughter is now 7, and with the help of my family, I've managed pretty well on my own, if I do say so myself! I now live with a really nice, sweet partner, and we're expecting our second child together! Believe me, you can do it alone if you end up in that situation. No matter how things are going between you right now, make sure you've sorted out some things yourself (like registration with housing associations, childcare, etc.).
Lots of strength, success, and enjoy the little miracle in your belly..

Love,

Hi :-)
It's definitely a shock at first, but if your partner acts like this, it doesn't bode well for the love and care the little one will receive, and the baby will likely feel the impact. Maybe it's better to consider being apart, because that negativity isn't good during your pregnancy, and it won't be after the baby is born either, since the baby will definitely sense your inner turmoil.
You and your partner can still talk about the baby from a distance during your pregnancy.

Good luck!
Greetings,
Patty

Hey,

I really think it's super tough for you that your friend is reacting like that, because he's actually done just as much as you have. But anyway, I think it's great of you that you want to give your child 2 parents, but if it really doesn't work out for you and he acts ridiculous. So I would think carefully about it, because you don't want a relationship full of arguments all the time, and your child won't benefit from that either.

I also got unexpectedly pregnant when I was 17. Now I've just turned 18. But my friend didn't know how to react at first either. He immediately said you should get rid of it. But luckily he changed his mind and is now overjoyed about it! I hope your friend will think the same way soon.

Greetings, Melanie

Totally agree with Patty. Come on! You can totally do this on your own! If you get help from your family, that’s great. You’re becoming a mother—you need to stand up for yourself and for your child. You can’t accept this behavior; it’s even worse than having divorced parents. Such a negative situation is really not good for you, let alone for your baby. Self-worth!!

Indeed, this is no way to react. You're already 16 weeks pregnant, you've known for 8 weeks, and he's still reacting like this.
I'd think about the baby, showing little respect for the baby. Come on, fight for your child; you can definitely do this with help from family and friends. A baby needs lots of love.
I also stood alone for 3 years with help from family, and you'll manage this perfectly, I'm sure. Think about how your child would feel if they're not wanted by the dad.
You can easily find another partner who will accept and love your child.
Talk it over again with a friend; if he sticks to that same decision, I'd draw my conclusion. Your baby comes first...;
greetings...

But it seems pretty hard to raise a child on your own. But it's certainly not impossible. Go with your gut and do what feels best for you and your baby.

I also got pregnant while on the pill. I took it correctly, but there were too few hormones in mine. It was a bit of a shock for me since I was further along than we thought. I had an implantation bleed that lasted 3 days during the time I would normally have my period. My husband was happy to keep it, since we were already thinking about trying for a baby in a few years. Now we're almost at the end; I'm 37 weeks now.

Rhea, how are you doing now?