Also scared of the (painful) birth?

I totally agree! It's really tough for women who can't have kids, but I'm happy to let them keep their whole delivery experience!! I'm almost due with my 3rd, but I'm dreading it again (though I can't wait for the baby to be here )

Of course, childbirth is going to hurt and you're nervous about it... but you knew that 9 months in advance, right? I think if you've taken the step to bring a child into the world, you should be strong enough to handle the birth and not sit around worrying afterward about how scared you are. If you're that afraid of the pain, you get an epidural and give birth to your child smiling.

I completely agree with Olivia and Dani.
This is also our first baby, and honestly, we got pregnant unexpectedly, so we didn't think at all about having to give birth! But now that it's getting closer and closer, you do start thinking about it..
Now, I also don't want pain relief, just like Olivia, because of the side effects. Unless it's medically necessary, I won't take it...
I also think it's very important that you can talk here about your feelings and fears that you don't know how to handle, because childbirth is such a big step! And it's very important to talk about it when you're dealing with fears!
Nothing is more cozy than chatting with fellow pregnant women here, because not everyone understands you as well as another pregnant woman does!!

Of course, the forum is meant for expressing and sharing your feelings, so shouldn't everyone be able to respond however they want? I'm not trying to attack anyone with my response or opinion, but just petting someone over the head doesn't always help either.

Bebis, I'm also very curious if you've given birth before?
You don't have to pat everyone on the head... But you should understand that it's not like you're always on a rose cloud afterwards, and it can be quite traumatic, so you might have fear for the next one..
Of course, you choose to have another baby and know it has to come out again... but that doesn't mean hop, epidural, and laughing into the delivery... I don't know where you're from? But you don't just get one here! (I wouldn't want one either)
My first was indeed traumatic, and I'm glad he's still alive. Afterwards, he wasn't doing well either and spent some time in the NICU... So that means I shouldn't have had fear for the second because I chose to get pregnant again... That's not how it works!
Now pregnant with the 3rd, and you still think about it... Seems completely normal to me..

I'm reading now that this is your first baby! Honestly, I find it completely inappropriate to make such remarks. And an epidural comes with risks, which is why most women don't opt for it earlier than when it's absolutely necessary.
I think you're taking this too lightly, also about giving birth... Of course, you know beforehand that you have to give birth, and I was willing to do that too, but I can tell you that most women don't just do it casually!!

I do think baby's reactions are indeed completely inappropriate, let's see what she has to say once she's in the delivery room. And indeed, an epidural does come with more risks, plus they don't just give it out lightly. @ the rest: it's normal to be scared of childbirth, every birth is different. I'm also pregnant with my first child here, and as the due date gets closer, I'm starting to think about how the birth will go. But one thing is absolutely certain for me: no epidural. I'd rather have a few hours of pain than keep the risks in mind afterwards

Oh, first baby...
Yeah, then I'm curious about the stories afterward. I do hope they're honest, of course....
I actually think a little tension before your delivery keeps you alert and gives you strength.
Just going in with the attitude "let's just do this, after all I chose it myself," can still be a nasty surprise.
We're just going for it, girls, we don't have many choices

That's what I mean, Dani!
I have to say that with the first one I also thought something like "there are so many women giving birth, it can't be that bad..." but now that I'm about to give birth to our 3rd child, I know it's not all rosy clouds...
Not that I wish it would start soon enough by the way, I'm incredibly fed up with it and can't wait to hold this little hummeltje in my arms, but those hours leading up to it

Still, it's your first baby, so I'm curious to hear your story too..
Here it's also the first baby, and I wrote earlier that I can stay quite calm, but now that it's getting so close, the fear is starting to creep in here too.. just not knowing exactly what's going to happen and what's coming your way!
Now I'm very sure that I don't want an epidural for the risks either, and that like Shana, I'd rather just skip the pain.. + then you really know what a birth is like! Now there are those who absolutely couldn't do without that shot, and I understand that well enough. I still say that I do want one if it really isn't too hard to endure.. or if labor lasts too long, they'll give you a shot anyway, whether you like it or not, simply because you'd be too exhausted for the actual birth...
And as our Dani says WE'RE ALL GOING FOR IT!! because what goes in must come out, so we don't have many choices!!
Anyway, ALL LADIES lots of luck with the upcoming birth "for those whose isn't going to take that much longer" and otherwise ladies, enjoy the pregnancy and that birth will come, believe in yourself, everything will fall into place, and definitely keep talking about your fears, it can only help you get rid of them!!

Love

Oh really? Still just one baby? I must have missed that... Now I'm really curious how you'll feel after that!
I can imagine the tension isn't completely illogical, even if it's your 10th child in a way... and every pregnancy goes differently anyway... It's not just something;-)
What you're saying Dani, we're going for it, we don't have many more choices, it'll have to come out somehow hihi... But well, I always say, getting one in is easier than getting one out;-) haha

To the baby: It’s going to hit you hard too. Don’t take it lightly.

Giving birth is fun, but the pain should stay away. But yeah, you don’t get that easily.
I really wanted to give birth both for the first and the second. For the first, it didn’t happen because he was in breech position but I did have full dilation. I didn’t find the contractions painful then and was upset that I couldn’t give birth naturally. For the second, I assumed it would be painless again but no, the opposite happened. My waters broke and immediately painful contractions followed. I was always convinced that no matter how painful, I would give birth without pain relief. Well, not exactly. I had severe back labor and was exhausted because I had a bad and short night's rest since my waters broke in the middle of the night. I couldn’t handle the pain anymore at 6 cm and chose an epidural. And I look back on it with a good feeling.

I know, try to relax as much as possible. Dilation goes faster and you experience the pain less severely. And please walk instead of lying passively on the bed; that slows down labor a lot. I speak from experience; it took me an extra hour and a half because I took a nap on the bed with the epidural.

I got an epidural for my daughter when I asked for it early.
And now I'm going to do the same if it really becomes unbearable.
People quickly say no, I didn't. By the way, I did it for my first too.
But once it got going, I almost begged for it. I think everyone should decide for themselves.

Love

I don't take painkillers for my first one. I didn't do it for my first, and I'm not doing it now either. It was hellish pain, but how else do you know you're in labor? And this didn't exist back in the day either. It's only for a short while, not every day. I'm not afraid of it because once you have your little miracle in your arms, you forget how the pain felt, even if you tore and they stitched you up—you don't feel it because of the joy in your arms

Hi Katie (and all the other soon-to-be moms),

Every birth is different for everyone, which you can see in the various replies.
I've given birth twice before and it is indeed painful but...
You forget that pain pretty quickly too. I'm now expecting our 3rd child and I'm not afraid of what's coming. In fact, I'm sure I'll be looking forward to it again by the end.
Just think about it: if giving birth was really such a hell, there wouldn't be many women going for a second or third child. It's also true that when you think "NOW I can't take it anymore," you'll have your baby (in most cases) in your arms very soon.

Maybe I got "lucky," but both previous times when I thought ***** I could start pushing shortly after. Something that might help you is pregnancy yoga; you're taught how to breathe properly there. I was already doing yoga, and my breathing exercises kept me calm. I think the more panicked you are, the more you drive yourself crazy.

Try to enjoy your pregnancy for now. You only need to worry about pain once your contractions have started (easier said than done).

If you know you have a low pain threshold (or is it high?), I'd simply discuss all options regarding pain relief with your midwife in good time. That way, you know what options you have and what potential effects it might have on you and your baby.

I hope I've been able to take some of your fear away!

Lots of love, An

(I just noticed now that this topic was started in May hahaha, did your birth go okay, Katie?)

I actually went through it without an epidural (which I really didn't want either), but I did sign up for one just in case it turned out to be a really heavy delivery or something.

Still, I have to say I expected it to be worse!!
I really had the contractions under control
with my own breathing technique,
and apparently I have a high pain threshold..
The only moment when they had to rotate my baby internally to deliver her, the pain was ***hellish because at that moment I lost control of the contractions.
(And because the midwife was poking around in me with her hand!! So at that moment she was a "pokerwoman")

All in all, I am really proud of myself for getting through it,
like I had to prove myself to myself..

But I think you should only do it if you really feel like it,
you just never know how it will turn out.
In my case, it was a lot less than expected!!

Here we are, we’ve given birth too...
Although I didn’t want an epidural, I ended up getting one anyway!
Since my contractions kept coming irregularly (every 5-10-15 mins), they put oxytocin in an IV and had to crank it up really high to get my contractions regular... So by the time I was 6 cm dilated, my contractions weren’t every minute anymore, but every half minute, peaking at 158 and more...
And since I had to stay lying down on the monitor to keep an eye on our girl because everything was so intense, I couldn’t walk around, which really helped me during a contraction... So I asked for an epidural against my will! At this moment, I’m really sitting here crying from disbelief that I couldn’t hold out! But I was already up and about from half past 1 am onwards because I was getting contractions..
But in the end, we went into the delivery with big grins... (this because I personally knew my midwife, of course, and we were joking around about Vanal and other things!!) With another midwife, this probably wouldn’t have been the case!!
And unfortunately, our girl came head-first with most of her head leading, which meant I got a big tear of 4-5cm! Really down to my butt haha...
But I would do the delivery all over again!!! Whether with or without an epidural, you don’t know beforehand what it’s going to be like... I also have a very high pain threshold, according to the assistant. He even said himself that it was his fault I couldn’t hold out! And maybe that’s good too, since we had complications after the delivery and we were able to fix this without surgery! The assistant was really digging around in me with his hand to get that damn piece of placenta out! And all this without anesthesia (I still had a little bit of the epidural left, but not much more!!) It hurt terribly, I roared like a bear I think haha... It tore my tear open again because of that and had to be stitched back up, also without extra anesthesia!
BUT overall, I’m very happy with the delivery and I would do it all over again despite the complications!!!
Nothing is more beautiful than holding your own baby when they arrive!!!

Hey Irma,

I had a total rupture during my first birth; meaning I didn't have a simple episiotomy/tear, but tore all the way up to my rectum. They had to stitch my rectum after the birth. I did NOT feel this during the delivery! You can fill in the rest yourself
Everyone gets a little 'panic' moment during pregnancy, apparently that's healthy.....

skip the details,
it’s different for everyone and varies from person to person, don’t think too much about it hihih.

So relatable, I gave birth to my first baby 6 weeks ago. It's perfectly normal to be scared, everything is so unknown, all those horror stories, but you'll manage.
If you give birth in the hospital, they have everything to make it comfortable for you.
It hurts, but it fades. At the end of pregnancy, you just want that baby, and then you only live towards that goal.
Honestly, I think there are more discomforts afterwards, fatigue, episiotomy and tears, and you hear nothing about that.
Find enough support from your partner, your gynecologist, and then you're already mentally strong!