Who was with you at the birth?

Hi Kim,

I go along with Ju's advice: think about yourself first.
I don't want anyone else there but my partner (and obviously a midwife and doctor, because that's just how it is).
I even sent my husband away during my first birth and wanted to be alone.

It's really nice that your mother-in-law understands! My ex-mother-in-law was also the best you could wish for, but I can't even think about having her or anyone else there....

Good luck, and you still have some time to think it over carefully!!

Love, Dani

Isn't that ideal? If it's such a sweetheart, isn't that a really nice task to decorate the house?

I shouldn't even think about having my mother-in-law there, but well, my mother-in-law isn't exactly a gem either, so that'll make a difference.

I want as few people around as possible, and I've even told my husband that he has to keep his face next to mine until the baby is out! I'm really quite prudish, I think. My mom says that once you start pushing, it doesn't matter anymore and you just want the baby out. Besides, I do think that giving birth is something for just the two of us...

I'm in a hospital where they're also studying, so to speak, so all the interns are wandering around, and during all the internal exams, they all cheerfully watch along too... And apparently, they'll be doing the same during the delivery. But I really don't want that at all... I mentioned it once to one of the women who works there, but then I got told straight up that I should just look for another hospital. Now I'm actually afraid to tell my gynecologist that I really don't want that during the delivery. Is it so crazy that I don't want 20 strangers between my legs?

Love, Manon

During my daughter's birth, my partner and mom were there (and the OB and a nurse, of course). My partner doesn't handle blood and hospitals well, so we asked my mom to be there just in case.

We didn't feel any "pressure" from her at all.

My son was born via C-section, so there was a whole army of people around me then.

I haven't really thought about it much yet, but one thing is certain: we do NOT want our children present. I think this time it'll be the OB, a nurse, my partner, and me.

I'm also quite squeamish (they really don't need to turn around that mirror above the maternity bed for me, since I don't want to see it), so I definitely don't feel the need to have everyone around me.

Best, Gerda

Hey, I had my 2 kids and my mom with me, it was such a special moment. She gave birth to me and now she gets to see her own grandkids. I still have 11 days to go until my 3rd arrives, and I hope mom will be there again. My guy stays with me until the very end and then he goes outside because he can't stand blood, men eh!

Here with the first birth, it was an emergency C-section, so only my boyfriend was allowed to be there... For the second birth, my mom and boyfriend were there... I have no regrets and got so much out of it with my mom! Now for the third, we're doing it together... Also because my mom wants to stay home with my other two kids now... which is already pretty nerve-wracking enough for her :-) But my mother-in-law, never ever, brrrrrrrrrrrrr haha... But that's just how the contact is;-)

Personally, I want my partner, my mom, and even my mother-in-law to be there. I actually asked my mother-in-law if she'd like to come... My idea is, the more souls, the more support. And my mother-in-law felt it was an honor to be there. She has two sons and no daughter, so she'd never have experienced this otherwise. And this is her first grandchild... This is my first baby too, so I don't really know what to expect... I read that everything goes differently anyway. For me, it gives me a sense of security to have two strong women by my side, from whom I expect a lot of support... So I think you should just follow your gut and your heart, and feel what feels right for you. After all, it's you who's lying there, open and exposed... And it's YOUR birth!!!!

Hi everyone,

I'm facing a huge dilemma. My sister is a midwife and really wants to deliver our baby. This has always been a given for both of us. Unfortunately, my husband sees it differently. He wants the birth to be something we share together. I understand him, but I feel like he's getting the short end of the stick in this case. We've been going back and forth for a few days now, and we're both very sad. My sister wants to talk to him to explain that there can be agreements made, etc., but he's not open to that. I feel like I'm caught between them and I'm afraid of whatever decision will be made. I really want her to deliver our baby, and everything else doesn't matter. He wants exactly the opposite: her to be there until the pushing stage. Girls, I just can't see a way out of this right now. On top of that, my parents are sad for their daughters, and I'm thinking about that too. I can't handle this stress right now, but I also don't see a way out..:

Hi Marijke...

I totally get where you're coming from in this case... I'm also a twin and really want my sister to be there for my birth... She was diagnosed with infertility and maybe wouldn't even be able to carry a pregnancy at all.

I'd really like her to experience a lot of this through me, especially since her niece has a special place for her.

My boyfriend doesn't want her there because we already do so much together; he wants this to be something just for the two of us.

I'm really torn and don't know how to resolve this. I understand my boyfriend, but I also want to give my sister this experience.

This applies to you too... If my sister were pregnant, I'd know what to do. She would attend my birth, but maybe we'd think differently about it as pregnant women.

Hi Renate,

That sounds like a really tough situation for you too! We’ve finally made a choice here. There was quite a bit of arguing and stress, but in the end, my husband and sister talked it through, and she’s allowed to be there for the birth! It’ll never be her 100% choice, but it’s good this way. We’re really looking forward to the birth now, and we’re both excited!

Have you made a decision yet, or is it still a sensitive topic for you? I completely understand wanting your twin sister there! It’s such a shame you feel like you have to choose between two people you love so much...

So far, my experience has been great with my partner, mother-in-law, and OB-GYN.
Once the baby is born, you quickly call the grandparents or whoever you feel is important at that moment, and they come over.
With a second baby, it doesn’t go any faster—there are still many people around your bed, and you also need to be able to concentrate.