Hilaric birth stories

We had a super birth here... But you can say that pushing while laughing hysterically isn't that easy haha... My midwife couldn't even work properly anymore hahaha... Every time she saw me, she'd burst out laughing, which made me start giggling too... And my partner was just standing there like a fool because he had no idea what was going on... And it was actually quite funny, but Lana (my midwife) and I didn't get it either... Just to clarify, I know Lana personally, so that probably had something to do with it... Because after the birth, a piece of placenta got stuck, and an older midwife started pushing hard on my belly, and I could've killed her. I then cursed the whole hospital, saying she had to get off me or she'd have two black eyes instead of four... And other things like that... She eventually handed it over to a younger midwife, 26 years old, and I felt much more comfortable with her than with the older one... Looking back, this was the most painful part of my entire birth... And I apologized afterwards for my words and actions because I literally pushed her away (her arms, anyway). Love,

My niece gave birth to a healthy baby girl last Wednesday. Since her husband was abroad, she was alone with her mother. At night, she told her mother that her contractions had started and that she was losing blood. Her mother then grabbed the travel bag and left without her to go to the hospital . Luckily, she was able to reach a friend who came to take her to the hospital.

Oh no, make that happen... her mom probably shot her off like a cannon! Poor thing! Luckily she ended up in the hospital anyway!
You just have to deal with it... you don't laugh at the moment, but afterwards they laugh a lot about it here and remember it with pleasure

Love,

After a dream pregnancy that most women would be jealous of, it was finally time. The worst ailment so far: swollen ankles from the hot weather So we figured the birth would be a breeze too. Unfortunately: it started in the late afternoon (I only told my husband that evening) and from the moment the midwife first stepped in, it took another 16+ hours. Every time she checked, every two hours, there was barely 1.5 cm of progress. So yeah, that gets pretty frustrating. The delivery itself went fairly well, but in the last few hours, my husband had to sit right next to me so I could squeeze his hand. Of course, he got hungry, but there was no bread at home. He said casually, while I was lying there panting: I'll just pop by the bakery! Good idea, not. The midwife went to get us some
Then the midwife had to make another visit. My husband was really, really hungry, but I told him he could only leave if I wasn't having contractions. So he rushed to the kitchen, threw down two slices of bread, ran back to be with me, rushed back to the kitchen, buttered his bread, ran back... That's how he had to prepare all five of his sandwiches, poor guy...
Once it was time to push - finally, after all that time! - it was all on the edge. They actually thought I should go to the hospital because it wasn't progressing, but the last 3 cm happened within 45 minutes. They thought an episiotomy was necessary, but that turned out to be unnecessary too (they had already given me anesthesia!). After an hour and a half of pushing, a beautiful daughter was born...
Then it was pretty much dinner time, so while they were stitching me up and cleaning up, I said to my husband: I'm actually kind of hungry. He asked what I wanted to eat, and I concluded: I'm craving Chinese food! My husband was stunned, but the midwife explained it to him: women who have just given birth are supposedly on the brink of death, and once it's over, they get incredibly hungry and crave Chinese food

What an insanely fun thread!
This should be a lot more active

I didn't really have a hilarious moment or anything, but oh well, looking back some things are pretty funny!

Woke up at 4 am with contractions, my husband stayed home and we had a nice long breakfast together with fresh goodies from the baker.
In the afternoon I still happily stood around, vacuuming and mopping between contractions. Just because I felt it needed to be clean!

In the evening at half past 6 my waters broke and from then on it really went at breakneck speed. When the midwife came she said we really had to go to the hospital now (she really wanted to do it outpatient). I was literally put into the car on my slippers and my shoes were thrown onto the back seat. I almost forgot the camera bag too. Once at the hospital I was put in a wheelchair and the midwife pushed me to the elevator while my husband parked the car. Visiting hours had just ended so all those people were staring at me while I was sitting there dying in that chair. I had read in the folder that I should be at 4 so when the elevator doors opened I almost rammed the button where the midwife said "well you're still clear-headed enough".

I had already indicated beforehand that I absolutely DID NOT want an epidural but a pain pump seemed supremely tempting at the moment. But that wasn't an option anymore so the bath was filled. Zooo.. THAT was blissful! I recommend it to everyone! Well, I was lying there and already had to get out again because my son's head was already half born. Since it wasn't a birth pool I wasn't allowed to give birth on the spot and had to get out.

So between a contraction up and out and quickly to the bed. Which consisted of 2 parts. I felt a contraction coming and let myself fall onto the bed which literally collapsed! Whoa! Midwife quickly made a prosthesis and I climbed on. I still remember only saying sorry sorry sorry.

After 4 pushing contractions my son Owen was born. The first thing I did was check if it was really a boy Well, I was completely torn (no tears or cuts but a blood vessel burst that wouldn't stop bleeding), Owen got his checks and I was allowed to shower.

I was hyper. When I was done I went to tidy up the delivery room while my man was sitting there with our child. After being in the hospital for a total of 2.5 hours we went home at 23.30.

And then when I got home? I said "figure it all out! First a nap!"

What a fun topic!
I had a (too) fast delivery with all the consequences, I was very withdrawn in myself
The only thing I shouted was when the OB-GYN said we need the Kiwi, give me the Kiwi! To which I yelled: I don't feel like eating a kiwi at all!
Turns out, a 'Kiwi' is a small vacuum cup they put on my daughter's head to get her out as soon as possible due to low heart rate
I had to listen to the Kiwi joke for a while after that

Haha, this is a fun topic!

My labor was actually a nightmare that ended up being an emergency C-section with medical errors. But what I still regularly hear from my husband is that I screamed "I have to poop!!!!"

hahahaha how cute!

I'm just cracking up over that kiwi! I can totally see myself thinking that too!

@ Flora haha yes, handy name for such a thing, right, at such a moment Definitely made up by a man

haha yes! Fun

I've written down my birth story in a blog. Maybe interesting to read for those who are interested.

https://mamablogonline.wordpress.com/2017/09/09/mijn-bevallingsverhaal-het-mooiste-moment-uit-mijn-leven/

They asked me if this was my first baby. This was because after one push, the head was already out.
I also asked for pain relief. "No ma'am, you have 9 cm dilation!" Me like; "Nooo, I need paracetamol, I have a headache!" Don't know if I got it or not, haha!

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