Hilaric birth stories

Haha, several...
But then the gynecologist wanted to check for the umpteenth time how much dilation I had, and I just couldn’t take it anymore... I told him in a somewhat unfriendly way that he should take his hands away because I already believed him! He said I really needed to listen to him, but I replied that I just couldn’t do it anymore... I said I’d stop giving birth altogether. Luckily, there was a kind nurse who calmed me down... 15 minutes later, our daughter was born...

I did apologize afterward though...

Yes, about a friend!!
(@ Lexy I know: I’ve told this before on “pooping during labor” – it’s really about this!)

She was giving birth in the hospital when her friend (completely unexpectedly) let in one old acquaintance after another; even people she didn’t even know!!
They had just come from the snack bar, and she was lying there with legs spread, pushing, when suddenly she felt like something else besides the baby needed to come out too.
As she looked up, she saw someone sticking a frikandel speciaal into her mouth, who then suddenly stared with an open mouth.
And to make matters even worse (and she wasn’t embarrassed enough), her friend shouted:
“Wow!! I’ve never seen such a big sausage come out of such a little girl!!”

When she told this and even acted it out, I literally laughed until I cried!!

My brother made (with his first kid) pure nervousness clean the whole hospital room! Hilarious! He even went (while the woman was screaming for the whole hospital) to the store to get cleaning supplies. Wiping, sweeping, washing the windows and diapers, and if it were up to him, the doctors had to step aside so he could continue with his swab with sweat on his forehead!!!! In the end, he gave up and fainted!! Woehaha!!

Hahahahah what a laugh!

My labor was super intense, I had one hour of contractions and 10 minutes of pushing..

At half past 8 in the evening my waters broke because I had this feeling like 'oh, I'm definitely not going to sleep' I already had contractions then, but they were calm and I was only 2 cm dilated!
When they broke my waters, they saw meconium poop in the amniotic fluid, so no home birth, so quick quick to the hospital without having my bag ready of course, so I had to pack everything quickly! Finally ready, quick to the car and then the contraction storm hit! My boyfriend in the car, damn it, we have to stop for gas first.. the midwife said at 36 weeks just in case prepare a bag and make sure your tank is full, but we were completely expecting a home birth!
Once at that gas station (not a small one or very quiet of course) I sat in the back seat cursing everyone who dared to look and David running inside throwing money on the counter and running back out with his white tense face and quickly driving away with people in the way of course -_-" but anyway, finally at the hospital in the delivery room I really didn't know what to do anymore, standing, sitting, walking, nothing helped and panting, damn it, I'm not going to walk around panting like an idiot woman here, I'm dying of shame! So I switched to aggressive mode lay on that bed and instead of contractions coming every 3 minutes they came every 30 seconds. So I screamed with EVERY contraction luckily only 30 min very extreme) well, I was very nice for the 30 seconds but as soon as the contraction came.. I pulled on my boyfriend's hair and bit his arm, I really cursed the baby out and screamed for a C-section and epidural! Every time a nice woman came to tell me that the doctor was coming for the epidural that it would take about 5 minutes, I couldn't stand that woman at all, I wanted to rip her whole head off if she came any closer (a) finally I could push without an epidural Hahahahah that man came running for an epidural I said ten minutes I have to push but they didn't believe me and they weren't allowed to touch me anymore.. Hahahahah and when she checked she said the midwife oh you really can push hihi so quickly get David he was even smoking to get the stress out Hahahahaha and then I pushed for about 10 more minutes and my beautiful Jeremy was born on September 3, 2010 at 21:37 Hahahahah he was out I had to cry immediately with my man with my Jeremy in my hand I could face the world again and how beautiful he was
I found pushing really pleasant by the way, truly a relief.. well I did have pre-contractions and the whole night soft afterpains!

Now I'm pregnant again with a boy 25 weeks and 1 day Hahahahah and I really wonder how this labor would be.. secretly I hope for the same because we still laugh really hard about it

Hahahahaha that sounds so intense. I would have been so mad if my boyfriend did that. I don't know, it's not normal, really. It's disrespectful, but also kind of hilarious. Hahahahaha

hihi, nice to read!

Super fun stories!
I have two of my own. I'll start with my daughter.
When I was 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I was admitted with pregnancy-induced hypertension (pre-eclampsia) that I'd had for a month already (story for another time!), with the obstetrician's message that I'd be induced the next day.
On the ward, they knew nothing about it, not even the next morning. So when I got out of the shower and my roommate told me the gyn had been by to induce me, it was quite a surprise.
So I was induced and after a while, I started having contractions. I was hooked up to the CTG monitor every hour or so, and around 12 o'clock, I asked a nurse if it would definitely continue (my roommate had been induced five times with gel, and it hadn't done anything), and the nurse replied that she couldn't guarantee it would continue, the contractions could stop anytime.
I found the contractions pretty intense, so I hadn't quite expected her answer, and I didn't end up calling my partner (who was just at work. He had called early that morning, but I didn't know anything then either!).
By 12:30, he called me himself, during his lunch break, and I told him to just stay at work, that the contractions could still stop.
By 3:00 PM, my roommate very cautiously asked if I didn't want to call my husband to come. I had been thinking about it myself, but was still hesitant. But after her comment (she was the one who had been watching me for a few hours trying to cope with the contractions), I decided to call him anyway.
By 4:00 PM, he was there, and a little later, my mother (who was also supposed to be at the birth) arrived, and I was finally taken to the delivery room.
There, coping with the contractions continued until I reached full dilation at 7:00 PM, the gyn returned from dinner, and I was finally allowed to push.
That went smoothly, and the gyn stayed with us the whole time. Until at a certain point, and our daughter was really about to be born, someone banged on the door between the two delivery rooms and yelled: "Help! Help!" The gyn sprinted off (in his clogs!) to the other delivery room and came back shortly after. At half past seven, our daughter was born.

Later that evening, I found out exactly what had happened, because my new roommate was the woman who was giving birth in the other delivery room.
When I was taken to the delivery room, she happened to be walking in the hallway, and there was nothing wrong with her yet. After that, though, she started having contractions, and it went incredibly fast. She had one pushing contraction, and there was her daughter. A friend who was with her panicked and started banging on the door and yelling "Help! Help!" When the gyn came to her, everything was more or less over for her, and since our daughter was also about to be born, he went back to us. Our daughter was born at 7:30 PM, her daughter at 7:25 PM, just five minutes apart.

Now for my son's story.
Because of the breech position and the too high risks with a breech birth, it had to be a C-section. It was scheduled for August 11th. On the night of August 8th into 9th, I got contractions, which stopped after an hour.
In the morning, I called the maternity ward to discuss what to do. They told me that if I got contractions again and they continued, I should call back.
It was a huge bummer that the contractions had stopped (it was scorching hot and I was so fed up), but luckily the contractions started again around 3:15 PM. At 4:45 PM, we called the hospital and they said we should come, but no need to rush.
We took our daughter to the neighbors, called my parents, called my in-laws who had to come from Harderwijk, etc., etc., put the bag in the car, and left around 5:30 PM.
Something very special happened at the hospital, I think. I had just gotten out of the car and was leaning against the back of it to catch a contraction, and at that moment, a hearse drove by, which also had to be at the hospital. I found it so symbolic: I was going to the hospital to bring a life into the world, and that hearse was going to the hospital to pick up a deceased (a life).
On the maternity ward, I was hooked up to the CTG monitor. Longer than usual, about 45 minutes. From that, they concluded that I really had serious contractions (yes, duh!!!!!) and they called the OB-GYN to consult by phone. They told me I would have the C-section that evening (yes, duh!!!!! (again)), but it couldn't be earlier than between 7:30 and 8 PM, because there was still a little boy who had to be operated on before then.
I was startled by this, because it was only 6:30 PM, and then I would definitely have to endure another hour to an hour and a half of intense contractions. The nurses reassured me: it would all be fine and the time would fly by, because I still had to be "prepared for surgery." For them, that was also nice, because they didn't have to rush with the heat. Shortly after, the gynecologist also came: he wanted to do one last ultrasound to see if Julian was still in breech position. Which, as no one was surprised, was still the case, and he decided to check me just to be sure. Big shock that my waters had broken and I was already 7 cm dilated....... It was 6:50 PM and suddenly there was terrible haste. The gynecologist was suddenly on the phone. I got a catheter and an IV set up at full speed. I got a surgical gown and was shaved. Then down to the operating rooms. Once there, the IV had to be replaced already, and I was introduced to the surgical team while lying in the anteroom waiting to be wheeled into the operating room. Finally, we could go in and the spinal block could be administered. It didn't really work out. I tried to relax between contractions and let my shoulders hang until I realized I had a pushing contraction. So I said that, and while the anesthesiologist picked up a different needle for the spinal block, the gynecologist checked me. Fully dilated, but the spinal block was finally in place. The gynecologist decided to proceed with the C-section, luckily, because I wasn't looking forward to a breech birth at all, even though I was very close to it. The spinal block started working and the contractions disappeared. We were waiting for my partner who was getting dressed. Once he was there, the surgery began. I never realized that a C-section went so fast. In my opinion, they were still getting everything in order, rubbing my belly with iodine, and maybe just making one cut. It wasn't until someone from the surgical team had to push on my belly that I realized the surgery was already much further along. Julian was born at 7:23 PM. Half an hour after the OB-GYN had first been with us, and even before the time we were actually supposed to end up in the operating room.

Wow, you guys were so calm really good of you, and how fast it went for that roommate, oh my! And I had my guy come way earlier Hahahaha XD

Hahaha my guy wasn't allowed to be there at all
Dream on hihi well we're getting married in 4 weeks anyway and expecting our second son on October 27th so that says it all Hahahah

How did you experience the C-section, I was always quite scared of it ! So I really think it's brave for anyone who had a C-section!!

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the trainee, and my husband... I told them all to get lost with the advice to leave me alone because I felt nauseous just seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two children, and I told her she was completely crazy to have another one after the first. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms and still couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !).

During the contractions, I was really in my own little world, and after the birth, I had to bond. Since that only happened after a while (a lot of blood loss that needed to be cleaned), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right! No, she said, it's made of cat intestines. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky, of course, not the case at all....

The midwife did say she was glad that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absentmindedly anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the postpartum care nurse, the trainee, and my husband... I told them all to go away and leave me alone because I felt like throwing up just seeing them!

At one point, I asked the postpartum care nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two children, and I told her she was crazy to have another one after the first. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms and still couldn't help telling her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !).

During the contractions, I was really in my own world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since this only happened after a while (heavy bleeding that needed to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right! No, she said, it's made of cat intestines. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky, of course, not the case at all...

The midwife did say she was glad that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absentmindedly anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the trainee, or my husband... I told them all to go away and leave me alone because I felt nauseous just from seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two children, and I told her she was crazy to have another one after the first. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms and still couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !).

During the contractions, I was really in my own world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since this only happened after a while (there was a lot of blood loss that needed to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right? No, she said, it's made of catgut. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very fortunate, of course, not the case at all....

The midwife did say she was glad that I was responding like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so detached anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the trainee, and my husband... I told them all to get lost and leave me alone because I felt nauseous just seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll be fine, you'll forget everything soon." She said she had two children, and I told her she was crazy to have another one after the first. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms and couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that pretty quickly )!

During the contractions, I was really in my own little world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since this only happened after a while (a lot of blood loss that needed to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right? No, she said, it's made of catgut. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky, of course, not the case at all....

The midwife did say she was glad that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absent-minded anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the intern, or my husband... I told them all to get lost and leave me alone because I felt nauseous just seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two kids, and I told her she was completely crazy to start again after the first one. And I was sure I'd never forget this NOOOO way.

I finally got my daughter in my arms, and still couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !).

Also, during the contractions, I was really in my own little world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since this only happened after a while (there was a lot of blood loss that needed to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right! No, she said, it's made of cat intestines. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky, of course, not the case at all....

The midwife did say she liked that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absent-mindedly anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the trainee, and my husband... I told them all to get lost and leave me alone because I felt nauseous just seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two kids, and I told her she was crazy to have another one after the first. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms and couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !

During the contractions, I was really in my own world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since this only happened after a while (a lot of blood loss that had to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right? No, she said, it's made of catgut. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky because it wasn't the case at all...

The midwife did say she was glad that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absent-minded anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the trainee, and my husband... I told them all to get lost and leave me alone because I felt nauseous just seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two children, and I told her she was crazy to have another one after the first. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms, and still couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !).

During the contractions, I was really in my own world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since this only happened after a while (heavy bleeding that needed to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right? No, she said, it's made of catgut. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky because it wasn't the case at all...

The midwife did say she was glad that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absent-minded anymore........

I wasn't very nice to the maternity nurse, the intern, and my husband... I told them all to go away and leave me alone because I was nauseous just from seeing them!

At one point, I asked the maternity nurse how many kids she had because she kept saying "take it easy, it'll take a while but it'll really be fine, soon you'll forget everything." She said she had two kids, and I told her she was crazy for starting over after the first one. And I was sure I'd never forget this.

I finally got my daughter in my arms and still couldn't help but tell her that I still remembered how much pain my contractions had caused (but honestly, I forgot that right away !).

During the contractions, I was really in my own little world, and after the birth, I needed to bond. Since that only happened after a while (there was a lot of blood loss that needed to be cleaned up), it was quite sensitive. I asked the midwife if she had lost her mind because you don't suture with barbed wire, right! No, she said, it's made of cat intestines. I immediately asked if she had used my cats for that, which was very lucky, of course, not the case at all....

The midwife did say she was glad that I was reacting like myself again (oh yeah?) and not lying there so absent-minded anymore........

Wow, what happened... no, I work the night shift.
I guess I fell asleep haha.

Those kids are used to it, there are definitely women who stay polite and respectful, but plenty who express themselves differently.