Pregnant, alone, and now??

Could you give me some tips too??

Hi everyone,
I think I'll just join in here too. I feel so alone . I have two girls, 11 and 9, and we always had a wish for a third child. After much hesitation and unplanned, I ended up pregnant. But it ended in a miscarriage. I was inconsolable and felt alone in my grief. Now I'm pregnant again, 9 weeks tomorrow... but I feel terrible.... My partner, or whatever I should call him, came here after being sick (we live separately). My girls and I hadn't seen him for about a week... we thought it would be nice to see him again. But it was hell! He flew into a rage over nothing, screamed, threw things, broke my cabinet, and threw a mandarin dangerously close to my eldest daughter towards the window. I locked myself in the bathroom with my kids until the police arrived. He was taken away. Now he's free again and back in his own city. I really wanted a third child with him, we both wanted that, and now this! He shows little awareness of his actions. Sorry, he hasn't even apologized.... If I hear anything from him, it's accusations and snide remarks. I'd really appreciate some support.....

Hey, I just read your message..
I'm 15 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend left me after a huge fight recently.
We had a lot of arguments before that too, but we still decided to go for it even though at the beginning I was wondering if this was a good idea. And we chose to become parents anyway. I'm now trying to figure out what to do and what lies ahead for me. It's very recent. But there was also aggression involved; I can't tolerate much or anything at all. I think it's the hormones, although I'm already quite temperamental myself. I threw things in anger and he gave me solid punches to the face. Of course, I know from myself that this can't be tolerated, even though I blame myself. I'm scared of being pregnant alone, having grown up in a family with divorced parents from a very young age, and the last thing I want is for my baby to experience the same thing that now seems to be what will happen. I haven't told my parents yet, I don't dare. They had already warned me about this. I try to stay strong but inside I'm dying of sadness. I try to ignore the stress, it's not good for me and definitely not for my baby!
My parents don't live nearby, I can't move in with mom or dad because I have a permanent job in the capital. Does anyone here happen to have experience with this? How did you process and handle it? Advice is always welcome!!

For those who have made it through by now, where did the courage come from? How do you feel now?
I assume being strong is the message...

Greetings

Ohoh... I just can't understand any of this... even though I was also kicked out by my ex-boyfriend... Although I wasn't pregnant then.
But now my partner and I really want a baby, and unfortunately, we lost our baby last month. Where one person wants it so much and puts in so much effort... while the other handles it so differently. What's wrong with the world sometimes.
I wish you all lots of strength... I understand that this is difficult. But I can say this: Enjoy the miracles in your bellies... take good care of yourself and the little one.
Now it won't look like roses. But trust in yourself and it will be okay. I also raised my son mostly on my own. And lost everything twice. And it turned out okay. Believe in it, stay positive, and fight. And above all, enjoy.
Lots of strength to everyone, love from me.

I'm 17 and already 17 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. We've been together for almost a year. The baby wasn't planned; something went wrong during the switch of contraception. I already live on my own, but I'm under so much stress because of everything going on. My boyfriend goes away every week, sometimes for the whole weekend, and then he comes back completely drunk. He usually says beforehand, "Yeah, I'm on the bus to you now" or "I'll be there soon," but then he's unreachable, and I get a call in the middle of the night with a lame excuse: "Yeah, sorry, I just needed some time. It won't happen again," or "I'll stay home this weekend." And then he does it again anyway.

I don't mind that he goes out once a week; we're young, and since we basically live together, it's not good to be on each other's lips 24/7. It's just that he needs to be honest about going out. When he says "I'm on my way" or "I'm almost home," I shouldn't have to wait for hours, and then he calls with a dumb excuse, only arriving in the morning.

Making arrangements with him doesn't work because he doesn't stick to them, but I find this really terrible what he's doing to me. I already have so much stress and hormonal issues, and then he does this too. I'm going through so much, and this has been going on for almost a year. We've had a lot of fights, broken up a few times, and gotten back together the next day because he says he's going to change... I don't want this anymore. It hurts so much that he's not honest and leaves me hanging like this, and sometimes he can be really mean. I really want to break up, but I love him, and we're having a baby together. When he is home, we can laugh together and have fun, even after some fights... I really don't know what to do. I want to break up, but I don't either. I can't talk to anyone about it because they always have their opinion ready: "You should break up." They don't understand.

Any tips???

Hi ladies,

5 years ago I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned and my boyfriend had just broken up with me. Although he thought I should have an abortion, it didn't feel right to me, and I didn't do it (thankfully). I'm not for or against abortions, but I am against abortions being chosen by someone other than the woman.

Of course, I had imagined a different pregnancy, as a future vision. The scenarios ranging from him not wanting anything to do with it, to giving him another chance, and then back to not wanting anything to do with it, all played out during my 9-month pregnancy.

In the end, I did it myself. I got through the pregnancy on my own, managed the birth myself, and then took care of the baby myself. And dear ladies, if I could do it, you certainly can too! Talk a lot with friends/family/parents/colleagues; they can really support you. Because yes, sometimes it's a bit tough, but (something you should learn anyway when a baby is coming): "it's just a phase." The difficult moments come and go, really, they pass.

BUT if I have any regrets or think about what I should have done differently, it's spending so much time on my ex-partner!! A baby is coming, that's already stressful enough! And besides, it's really nice (usually ), focus on that, and let those men be what they are. Let go of the negativity and focus on the beautiful things to come. What's important to you, and take good care of yourself, give yourself some extra attention. Paint your nails, put on a mask, you deserve it! Good luck.

I gave birth to a beautiful son in September, and just 6 weeks later, my boyfriend left me for someone else with a 1-year-old son. I don't know what to do or how to sort things out. We've had a house together for less than a year.

Oh my, what I’m reading here???
I had a really bad relationship with the father of my first child. We often had explosive arguments during my pregnancy because I found out he was cheating. Naive as I was, I tried to forgive him again because I was on a pink cloud, imagining a happy family. After a long pregnancy with, among other things, pelvic instability, arguments, and loneliness because he never stood by me, I moved to my mother’s house at 7 months pregnant after discovering he had cheated again. I eventually came out of this better off without him after a few more attempts (yes, I know that was naive). My daughter unfortunately doesn’t see him anymore due to his alcohol and drug use, but my current partner is like a father to her and supports us wholeheartedly. I’m now expecting my second child.
Believe me when I say, you’ll manage even if you’re doing it alone. A mother’s instinct won’t let you down, and if you ever feel unsure, talk to someone you trust.
I wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancies, and remember, it won’t rain forever. The sun will shine for you too!

I'm a 26-year-old man raised by a single mother who was also abandoned during her pregnancy. Now that I'm getting older and realizing who I've become, I truly understand how much respect she deserves. This is a theme that really occupies my thoughts. Currently, I'm a film student, and I've decided to tell the story clearly through a documentary. Therefore, I'd like to get in touch with a future (single) mother who is open to sharing her experiences. If there's a need, I'm also willing to share my experiences as a child. Maybe this can help alleviate doubts and allow you to move forward positively with your future baby. Anyway, I'd love to get in touch with you.

Best regards, Tijo

Inform social services and your GP, and also your midwife.
Often you can go to a mother and child center.

Currently, I also have to accept that my girlfriend has been away from home for 6 weeks, now 23 weeks pregnant with our son. When she came back from work, she had already left and I haven't heard a single word from her since.

Hi ladies, I was in a similar situation at 19. My parents were supportive, thankfully. Back then, you got emergency housing and had an apartment within a few months.
I have to admit it was really tough at that age. If it happened to me now, it wouldn’t be fun, but I’m sure I’d manage it mainly on a psychological level.
I have my own place, a job, everything sorted. And I’m never giving that up again!
My tip: check with a housing association and explain your situation.
Wishing you lots of strength!

Hi, I see similar stories. My story is that I got pregnant unexpectedly but not unwanted. My ex was shocked but accepted the fact that a little one was on the way after a night's sleep. Now his parents don't support us being back together, let alone that they guessed I was pregnant... My ex is quite impulsive and moody and left me hanging after 2 weeks. He came back after a week and now he's gone again. He doesn't want it and I'm getting accusations and blame from all sides. Words were said due to uncontrolled emotions and hormones! I have my own apartment etc., but my fear is: how do you start as ex-partners, what if the little one is born and how will it be in the first months with restless nights as a single mom? How can you solve this towards co-parenting? Who could help me guide me in this: Kind en Gezin? I have no contact with my family but get lots of support from my friends. Thxxxx

Hi Alex,
I’m currently in the same situation. And I’m going crazy with despair. My wife doesn’t want me around anymore and doesn’t let me know anything; she’s been at her parents’ place for a while now. This all hurts me so much. I really hope things will get better again. How did it go for you, Alex? Did everything turn out okay...
Best, Marcel