Toddler will pee but not poop on the potty

Peeing on the potty but asking for a diaper to poop is one of the most common potty training snags. Rule out constipation, say yes to the diaper for now, and move toward the toilet in small steps.

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Your toddler has peeing on the potty down. Poop is another story. When one is on the way, they ask for a diaper (nappy) or a pull-up, slip behind the couch to go, or hold it in altogether.

Most kids get past this. Start by ruling out constipation, let your child poop in a diaper for now, then edge toward the toilet in small, calm steps. Pressure and punishment tend to drag the whole thing out.

It's one of the most common potty training snags. In a US study that followed healthy toddlers through potty training, about 1 in 5 refused to poop on the toilet for a month or more.

Why pooping on the potty is harder

Pooping on the potty is harder to learn than peeing. Your child pees many times a day but poops once a day or even less, so they get far less practice.

Most often, a child holds back because a poop hurt at some point. It only takes one hard or large one.

There's a control piece, too. Kids between 2 and 5 want a say in everything, and hanging on to a poop is one thing they get to decide for themselves.

And some kids are scared. A child may see their poop as part of their body and not want it flushed away. Others are frightened by the roar of the flush, by splashback, or by the idea of falling in.

Dangling feet make it hard to push. Pressure during training, being interrupted mid-try and big changes like a new sibling or starting daycare all make holding on more likely.

First, rule out constipation

Before you tackle where your child poops, find out whether they're constipated. It's common during potty training, and a child who finds pooping painful is far less likely to manage it on the toilet.

Signs to watch for:

  • Fewer than three poops in the past week
  • Big or hard poops, or small hard pellets
  • Straining or pain while pooping
  • Blood on the outside of a hard poop
  • A tummy ache that eases once they've pooped
  • A poor appetite
  • Runny poop or smears in their underwear (this can be soft poop seeping around a hard, stuck lump)

Normal poop habits vary a lot, from three times a day to twice a week. The thing to look for is poop that's soft and easy to push out.

A child who is holding on will often rock, fidget or cross their legs, tuck themselves into a corner, or refuse to sit on the toilet at all. Holding makes the poop harder, so the next one hurts more and your child holds on even tighter.

Plenty of water, fruit and veggies keep poop soft. Skip fiber supplements unless your doctor suggests them, since without enough fluid they can make constipation worse.

If you suspect constipation, book a visit with your pediatrician or doctor. Treatment usually pairs a laxative with changes to what your child eats and drinks. The one doctors reach for most is polyethylene glycol (also called macrogol), sold as MiraLAX in the US and Movicol in the UK.

Only give a laxative if your doctor recommends it, and let them set the dose and how long your child stays on it. Expect treatment to last several months. And don't stop it yourself once things look better. Doctors usually lower the dose slowly.

Don't wait it out, either. Constipation that drags on gets harder to fix, so deal with it early.

Why it's OK to say yes to the diaper

When your child asks for a diaper to poop in, hand it over. It can feel like going backward. Saying no, though, usually means they'll hold it in, and holding leads to constipation.

A child who poops in a diaper is still pooping regularly, and right now that matters more than where it lands.

Everything else stays the same: underwear and the potty for pee, a diaper just for poop. When they ask, stay low-key about it. Once the pressure is off, some kids sort it out on their own.

How to get from diaper to toilet in small steps

Once any constipation is treated, start inching toward the toilet. Your child sets the pace. If a step upsets them, go back to the last one that felt OK.

First, make sitting easy and keep it separate from pooping. Ask your child to sit on the potty or toilet for a few seconds (clothes on is fine) and praise the sitting without bringing up poop. Good times are 20 to 30 minutes after a meal and right before bed. Build up slowly to sits of a few minutes.

Make sure their feet rest on something solid. A potty does that, or put a child seat on the big toilet and a step stool under their feet.

Next, bring the diaper poops closer to the toilet, one stage at a time:

  1. Move diaper poops into the bathroom instead of your child's usual spot.
  2. Let them poop in the diaper, but sitting on the potty or toilet.
  3. Loosen the diaper, then lay it open inside the potty or across the seat.
  4. After every diaper poop, tip the poop into the toilet together and let your child flush. If the noise scares them, flush once they've left the room.

For a child who's scared of the toilet itself, flush while they watch from the bathroom doorway, and have them stand a step closer each time. A few squares of toilet paper floating on the water will stop splashes.

Keep some special books or toys in the bathroom just for sitting time. Reward sitting and trying, and not only the poops that land in the toilet. This can take weeks, sometimes months.

What makes it worse

Don't punish or shame your child over a poop in their diaper or underwear. Begging and pleading backfire as well, because they turn pooping into a power struggle.

Don't take diapers away all at once. A child with no place they feel safe to poop may hold it for days.

And skip the marathon sits where your child stays on the toilet until something happens. Short, regular sits work better.

What other parents say

Lots of parents describe a child who asks for a diaper and poops within minutes, or who saves every single poop for the nap or bedtime diaper. Hiding to go, behind the couch or in a closet, is common too.

Backing off completely for a few weeks is what many parents say helped most. Putting the diaper on the potty is a favorite trick, and so is cutting a hole in the diaper so the poop drops through into the potty.

A few parents found out their child had been mildly constipated all along without anyone noticing, and once a doctor treated it, things started moving. On the flip side, yanking diapers away suddenly left some kids holding for days.

When to get help

Get medical help the same day if your child's belly is swollen or hard, or if they're vomiting, have severe tummy pain, or have a fever with tummy pain.

Make an appointment with your pediatrician or doctor if your child:

  • Has fewer than three poops a week, or hard, painful poops
  • Has blood in or on their poop
  • Is eating poorly or losing weight
  • Has runny poop or smears leaking into their underwear
  • Starts having new pee accidents, wets the bed again, or has pain when peeing
  • Still won't poop on the toilet after 2 to 3 months, even with the pressure off

Outside the US, contact your GP or NHS 111 in the UK, healthdirect on 1800 022 222 in Australia, or 811 in most Canadian provinces. For emergencies, dial 911 in the US and Canada, 999 in the UK, 000 in Australia, 111 in New Zealand or 112 in Ireland.

The bottom line

Plenty of kids pee on the potty long before they'll poop there, and this stage usually passes. Get soft, painless poops sorted first. Then move toward the toilet in small steps, at a pace that lets your child feel safe.

FAQ

Should I go back to diapers if my toddler won't poop on the potty?

There's no need to drop potty training altogether. Keep the potty for pee and bring out a diaper only when a poop is coming. If training has turned into a daily battle, though, a full break for a few weeks can help too.

How long until my toddler poops on the potty?

There's no set timeline. Some kids come around on their own once the pressure's off, while others need weeks or months of small steps. If constipation is involved, treating it alone can take several months.

Can I give my toddler a laxative like MiraLAX?

Doctors most often treat constipation in children with polyethylene glycol (macrogol), which is what's in MiraLAX and Movicol. Use it only if your doctor advises it. They'll decide the dose, how long your child takes it, and when to cut back.

Why does my toddler hide to poop?

It's very common at this age and often comes down to wanting control. The hiding spot gives you somewhere to start. Notice where your child likes to go, then shift that spot toward the toilet bit by bit: first into the bathroom, then onto the potty in a diaper.

Going through this right now? Talk to other parents in our Toddler to preschooler forum.

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