How and what about family after the birth? Same day, a few hours later - otherwise.

Hi Esmiralda,

I gave birth on a Saturday night around quarter to 10. By then, it was already way too late for the family to drop by, obviously. They (just the grandparents and godparents) were allowed to come in on Sunday morning at 10 am.

Now, I had some pretty severe complications after my pregnancy: too much blood loss and I even needed a blood transfusion... around 5 am... and at half past 7 we were already woken up for breakfast and care... so I hadn't slept at all and was still not in a good place... (I had already been awake since Friday night into Saturday at half past 2 in the morning due to contractions).

Now I have to say that I found it quite tough that everyone was there right at 10 am! My boyfriend kindly asked them to go home around half past 11 and to come back later during visiting hours... because I was turning pale again due to still bleeding and having no sleep!

If I had known all this beforehand, I would have just let them come during visiting hours and then the last visiting hours! Because ours were from 2-4 and 6-8, so I could have rested a bit, etc...

We only let grandparents and godparents come on the first day, and friends were only allowed to come from day 2 onwards...

Love... think carefully about how you want to do it because it's really exhausting having all those people around you right after giving birth! You first need to make sure you get some rest yourself!

Enjoy your pregnancy!!

Moved to -birth-

We deliberately kept family away during the first birth. Looking back, I think that was super wise of me, and we’re going to do the same this time! I’m even thinking about letting family know 24 hours later! (Very selfish, I know.)

I loved having just a little bit of alone time with my partner and daughter after the birth. Of course, you’re incredibly proud and want to show your little miracle to EVERYONE, but the 'man with the hammer' is waiting in the hall and strikes when you least expect it... And if the room is full and you’re feeling extra hormonal, you won’t send anyone away...

A birth is a top-level physical feat, don’t get me wrong! And you never know what might happen during your own delivery! Suppose you get a severe tear (where even the rectum tears), you’ll need to go to the OR to get stitched up. When you come back, your mother-in-law/brother/aunt is already cuddling your baby while you haven’t even had the chance to do it yourself! Of course, it could also go perfectly well, and you’d love nothing more than to have the whole family standing at the foot of the bed at that supreme moment! When the contractions start, you’ll know exactly what you need! (People who love you will be by your side within half an hour.) Let yourself be guided by that. If you make plans now, the disappointment will be even greater if your wishes can’t come true.....

Mandy,
you're absolutely right!
I was so happy that our girl was born in the evening.. and yes, everything went so well, e.g. breastfeeding while my partner informed our parents... and then it went downhill 3 hours after the birth because a piece of the placenta had remained inside..
During such hectic moments, you don't even think about calling the parents back to tell them they should come later because their daughter/daughter-in-law has had complications..
We also only sent an SMS to the rest of the family and friends on Sunday night at 11pm saying she was born, so no one could come from far away anyway
But if we ever have a 2nd, no one is expected on the first day either, and that's just because I've had such a hectic experience now! You never know what's waiting for you! Luckily I didn't have surgery for the placenta; the doctor could remove it by hand, but because of that, my tear reopened, so I had to go get it stitched up again...
Childbirth is something special; you really give it your all at such a moment, but you indeed never know how and what will happen..

As you say, let yourself be guided by your feelings in the moment; people who love you are there immediately!

Love

With the first, I was determined that my parents would see the baby first (pregnancy hormones can really do things to you—I was genuinely panicking about it). With the second, I gave birth late in the afternoon, and since my in-laws didn't live nearby, my parents only came by during visiting hours in the evening. By then, I didn't care quite as much .

Yeah, with my first I gave birth at 4am and by half past 5 my room was already full. I really regretted that. 5 days of constant visitors, no rest, which meant the midwife visit didn't even work out.

This time we're doing it differently.
Our parents will only notify us once I'm already in the room, and only our parents on the day itself.
Because I want my daughter, who will be at grandma's when I go into labor, to be able to come see her little brother in peace. Without all the big crowd. It'll already be a special experience for her and us.
And the next day the rest of the family. Calls and stuff.
I'm not even putting which hospital I'm in on the card.
So on the day itself only parents and daughter, and in the evening very late I'll text my brother and sister-in-law etc.

Still a tough one, huh?
We’re also letting it depend on the timing. First us, then the rest... I think it’ll all be impressive enough anyway. First, we’ll enjoy being together, then we’ll call, and when visitors come, that’s when we’ll see them!

I think it's different for everyone.
I gave birth both times early in the evening, and (grand)parents and siblings came as soon as I had given birth and had eaten something myself (so about 2 hours after the birth). The next morning we were allowed to go home, and I only let (grand)parents and best friends visit. I had a lovely confinement nurse who took care of everything, so I didn't have to do anything myself. During the confinement week, I only allowed visitors from the immediate family and only in the afternoon so that we had time in the mornings for care. I want to do it the same way now

I'm going to do this alone with the baby boy, and as soon as he's born, the parents and whoever we think is important will be there first. Will they call you? Are you giving birth at home or in the hospital? Greetings!

I gave birth in the hospital after a long induction and labor, and my closest ones knew I was in the hospital. An hour after the birth, we called, and around half past ten in the evening, my stepmother, sister, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law came to visit, and the rest came the next day!

Love, Kim

I just wanted my partner there; I knew that helped me stay in that zen state the best. That’s how I found it most comfortable too. When our son was born (21:34) and after we’d spent some time with him together, I suddenly really wanted my mom to come over. My partner called her, and around 22:30 she was there, which I found really nice. The next afternoon, the rest of the family came by when I had a bit more energy again.

I want to have an open delivery room at the hospital. The baby is currently in breech position, so Maja still has some time to turn. I'm 33 weeks now.

Iza, I feel the same way. I'd like my husband to call my parents first, then the in-laws, even though I also have a good relationship with my in-laws. I just want to see my own parents first. Is that weird? My husband understands.

Maja, let's first see how the labor goes. I want to do this with just the two of us. Call quickly.

We decided to have the grandparents come by.
I gave birth in the hospital, hadn't slept for 2 nights because of contractions, and after almost 2 hours of pushing, our son was born at 22:27.
He had to be attached to the IV first.
After that, we called the grandparents, and they came by around 24:30 for a quick visit. Just about 5-10 minutes, not longer, but we really wanted to show our little man. We definitely don't regret it; we thought it was really nice.