Letting baby cry is dangerous

Hey ladies,
I completely agree with you all that babies should cry as little as possible up to at least 6 or 7 months. When my boys couldn’t sleep, I always put them on my back and they’d just fall asleep. That way I could also do the household chores. At night they often still slept with me. Now they sleep in their own crib, but I still have to get up a few times at night to calm them down.

Love, Nynke

I think it's because I breastfeed my baby and I notice her needs before she even has the chance to start crying (so as soon as she starts fussing in the air). I quickly pick up on when something isn't right and she really starts crying.

Last week she was fussy for 1 day, which I'm not used to, and I immediately said: I think something isn't right. She just wanted to drink, and I had the feeling that nothing was coming out. And that turned out to be true; her milk supply had dropped for 1 day, and I noticed it right away from her behavior!!

how old is she now? at six weeks you always have a growth spurt day where they ask for more so your production goes back up. but maybe you already knew that. my youngest son had those days a lot because he needed more one time and less the next time.

love, Nynke

I totally agree! Our girl is 3 weeks old now and sleeps through the day on my tummy or right next to me in the armchair (well, nicely shielded so she definitely can't roll out of it I wouldn't want that on my conscience!). When she's in her crib, she cries, and I pick her up immediately. She's on my tummy or right next to me for less than a minute, and then she sleeps so peacefully! I have to say, at night she sleeps in her own room in her own crib and does pretty well! She sleeps through until 5 am now between every feed. She's a true deep sleeper.. but as soon as I hear her smacking her lips on the baby monitor, I'm next to her crib before she even cries.. if I give her a bottle, she falls asleep at the end against my breast, and I gently put her back in the crib and she just sleeps peacefully.. Now I do have a spit-up cloth that's changed every day, I sleep with one next to me in bed, and then I place it under her head in the evening so she feels like mom is close by. But I don't let her cry, it's so sad if she cries even once, and I can't bear it when she's so little and so full of sorrow, it breaks my own heart!!!

Love,

That's a good idea, Daphne! I hadn't thought of using that spit cloth. I do have a cuddly toy in her crib, but it doesn't smell like her mother.

I'll try it right away.

Hugs, Chantal

@ Chantal
Let me know if it has the same good effect for you as it does here
Love xx

I do let her cry a bit sometimes. There's nothing wrong with crying; it's good for her lungs. And since I'm forced to give her a bottle, I can't just give it to her before she starts crying—you're stuck to a certain amount anyway. She was already sleeping through from 00:00 to 07:00 from 5 weeks old. I only woke up startled at 09:00 and she was still happily asleep.

I found the schedule for our girl here too She's now 3 weeks and 3 days old... and since last week she drinks more than usual during the night from Monday to Tuesday... every one and a half to two hours she wants to latch on and stays a bit fussy.. so it's very exhausting having this through the night.. because during the day she always sleeps peacefully and takes her usual hours (3 hours - 3 hours and a half) between each feeding...
but it's part of it and I stand by with lots of love for every sigh for our little princess!! Last night she even got to sleep between mama and papa because she was having such a hard time oh dear as soon as she saw mama leave she started sniffling and papa was up early and had already been out of bed for 2 hours (from 1 to 3) stepping every 2-5 min so I put her in our bed and she drank nicely again and fell asleep like a little rose on her back I woke up at 5 am this morning when papa got up and what do you know our girl was suddenly sleeping on her tummy...(she does turn onto her side when lying flat in bed so maybe it was accidentally by turning but she looked so sweet with those little knees tucked in) so I just let her sleep as she was.

Aah, super cute Enjoy having your girl in bed with you. My boys were always with us in bed when they were that little, and sometimes even now. But usually, there's some reason—sick or a nightmare. Enjoy it while she's still so tiny.

I'm pregnant with my first, now 26 weeks.

But I think you'll get a bit panicked the first night with a crying baby, right? You'll jump up to see what's wrong and what to do. It's so sad, feeling so helpless and tiny.

You also quickly notice the difference between a little squeak and real crying.

During the 3rd night, our girl let out a huge scream and we both stared at her in surprise; she was just sleeping!!

So I saw no reason to pick her up.
She just went back to sleep,
apparently she was dreaming?.. She does that now and then.

It happens that she's awake and lying there grumbling, and I'm just in the kitchen with my hands full of cake batter. I call out: "Mommy's coming, sweetie!!!"
By the time I've washed my hands and gotten to her,
she's just lying there playing on her own..


I think it's important to stay calm yourself;
if you get panicked quickly, I think she'll do the same.
I'd say I'm pretty relaxed.
Trust your instincts!!!

haha Olivia so relatable!

it's great to read this here, our girl does exactly the same!!

you really notice the difference between squeaking and crying..
our girl does it too, her first time was also the very first night, on day 4-5... I changed her so hard and immediately stormed into the room but our little girl was happily purring she does this more often now and meanwhile I can distinguish her dream squeaks from real crying well so even if I'm not on...
let her lie nicely then if she squeaks like that in her dream...

also when I'm eating she sometimes starts to grumble and then I say the same as you I immediately say mama is coming darling and when I come to the crib she's happily sniffing around and as soon as she sees me she starts to laugh so exactly like you're saying haha mama I've been lying well for you he

@ the rest indeed like our Olivia says especially try to stay calm...and trust your instinct your mother's intuition gives you the right answer and you will know your baby so well soon enough that you can really distinguish all the squeaks and noises...my friends also often ask why is she crying now...then she's just being a bit grumpy and then I say well if you pick her up now she'll be happy then she just wants a cuddle moment and they did this and yes meanwhile even my friends distinguish her squeaks and noises...and if they're here I don't have to do much haha then they're always ahead of me (don't mind it if they want to change diapers and cuddle her) so our little one gets used to it with others too...

Lots of love and always trust yourself we all manage!!!

sleeps in her crib from day 1, now 3 months later she sleeps in her own bed.. she's doing amazingly well.. sleeps through the night peacefully in her own warm bed.. wakes up and happily looks around and explores her room.. I really understand that a newborn needs love, attention, etc... but structure is the best thing you can give a child.. and structure doesn't mean letting your child cry.. structure means for example always sleeping in the same place, so not once on mom's tummy or once in mom's bed etc.. a baby also has a brain that can get confused, which can lead to overstimulation and crying. Everyone has their own opinion of course..

Hi! My fourth baby has slept on my chest since day 1. My oldest was a very fussy baby; as soon as she was taken off me, she started screaming—it wasn't crying anymore, so there was no other choice but to keep her close. I've also been like this for about 9 months. You weren't alone, and you were nice and warm, so personally, I believe it's best for me and my own kids if they can just sleep close to mom and find their sense of security there.

@ Linam,

I totally agree with you... My son also slept in his own crib from day 1 and was perfectly happy!! Just like you said, babies need to know what to expect!! And when my second comes along, we'll do exactly the same thing. That doesn't mean the baby won't get love and security, but it's just better for the baby to get some rest!! That's how we see it, but everyone has their own opinion.......

Oh, I'm so glad to read this... I have a son who is now 5 months old. A lovely, content, and cheerful little guy.
When he was 2 months old, his father and I broke up. During those 2 months, I always let my son sleep on my chest because he cried as soon as he was put in the crib or his bed. Besides, I loved being able to cuddle with my son after waiting 9 months. I found it terrible when he cried and did everything I could to let him cry as little as possible.
Recently, I received a message from the child abuse advice and reporting center. My ex's mother had filed a report against me because I supposedly suffocate my child and don't give him freedom.
Of course, I don't take this seriously, but I really wonder where she gets the nerve from.
After we broke up, my son wanted to sleep in his crib and bed, so I didn't ruin anything with my child, despite what my ex and his parents claimed—that I would ruin him if I didn't let him cry and kept him close to me all the time.

pff that didn't take it seriously? what can exes be weird figures. you're right, don't bother with weird people. good luck with everything

I agree with that too, but where's the tipping point? Our son is 10 months old now, and we still let him cry a little bit sometimes. After 5, 10, or 15 minutes, he usually falls asleep. Is this 'wrong'? Until 6 months he slept in our room, and he's still breastfeeding, but I'm now slowly weaning him off night feeds. This is also a new phase and change for him, so some resistance (crying out of frustration, anger, sadness) is to be expected. I explain everything to him, including that these changes are part of growing up. Crying is allowed too. Being angry, frustrated, and sad... it's all part of it.