The desire for a child is strong.

Hi,

This is indeed so hard. My husband didn't want a second baby at first, but I eventually managed to convince him. If I were you, I'd try to agree with him on saying that we'll let nature take its course this year and really start trying from 2020. That way you're somewhere in the middle, and you'll have been trying for a while before you really start focusing on it. Maybe that'll give him some peace of mind too?

Best wishes

Trying to 'convince' someone to have a baby with you... really, don't do that. The average age for a first child these days is around 29, so you still have time, right? Don't focus too much on it and don't push him too hard, or soon you might not have anyone left to fulfill your wish with, and then you'll have to wait even longer. Enjoy life, enjoy yourself.

Timing? I really hope for you that it works out right away. You know, hopefully, that you can't really time when you get pregnant; you can only guess at best. And if you have to convince your boyfriend because he wants to enjoy his freedom first? Try flipping it around: what if he had to convince you to go on an expensive vacation to a place you don't like... That vacation only lasts a few weeks.

I totally get how you feel, because I’ve been there in my own relationship. I’ve wanted to start a family for a few years now, but my boyfriend didn’t think the timing was ideal either. Back then, I had this strong feeling that I needed to become a mom, and it was really hard for me that he wasn’t ready yet. Last summer, we had a good talk about it, and he really wanted a year just the two of us. We’d just bought a house, had a busy period behind us... and he really wanted to use that year to do things as a couple, just focus on us. I thought it was such a romantic idea and I understood it too. You never get those years without kids back, even though, for the record, I couldn’t change things fast enough for me :-). I stopped taking the NuvaRing this month, assuming it might take a little while. But if it happens now, that’s fine too. We’ve already booked a vacation in July, just the two of us. I’m so happy now that we waited. Seeing how my boyfriend is now completely on the same wavelength... that wouldn’t have been the case last year. We’ve only just started, but I’m already noticing that this process comes with a lot of emotions and sometimes insecurities. So it’s absolutely invaluable to have a partner who’s genuinely on board with this journey. I was naturally scared too: what if it’s hard for us? But at that moment, I’d still have wanted a partner who understood me and was really there for me. Not someone secretly thinking every month: phew! After that talk, I was able to give it a place and enjoy the spontaneity of us as a couple, the lazy days where we literally do nothing (have to do)... I hope it works out for you too! We’re both 29 right now. We’re turning 30 this year.