Extremely scared of the birth.

Hello Ladies,

I’m currently in my 37th week of my second pregnancy. Aside from some standard pregnancy complaints, it’s been a really nice pregnancy.
However, I haven’t been able to sleep much, if at all, for the past two weeks because I’m full of tension... tension about the birth.

It’s not that I’m afraid of the contractions, the pain they bring, or other crazy things; I managed that last time too, so we’ll just 'do it again'.
My previous birth went smoothly and quickly. At night, I had 'some back pain' that kept getting worse. I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 AM, and the back contractions became increasingly painful. Around 9 AM, my waters broke, followed by a contraction storm that was very intense, and at 13:16, my healthy son was born. So, a smooth birth.

Now, during the pushing phase, I tore terribly—really terribly. Many women say they don’t feel this during birth, but I did feel it.
It was so extreme that even the gynecologist had to consult on how to stitch it up and whether it was even sensible to stitch it.
They didn’t stitch everything because they were afraid of causing more damage and leaving me numb in places where you’d rather not be.

Now, six years later, it has healed, but there’s a missing piece in my inner labia. I still have pain in the area where it was so extremely terrible.

With the next birth approaching, I’m extremely afraid of what might get damaged, how much pain I’ll endure this time, and since they couldn’t say for sure last time whether it would heal well or if I’d still have sensation, I’m completely terrified that this birth will ruin everything.

I’m extremely afraid of tearing again, and I’m dreading the birth a lot.
I also don’t really know what to do about it. Everyone just says, "Oh, it’ll be fine, it worked out last time..." Yes, that’s true, it worked out last time, but you don’t know what I went through.

Does anyone have experience with this or tips?