Introductions.

Hi there, welcome to Brabbels!
It's so nice that you're thinking about having a baby.
You're absolutely right—men's minds work differently.
They can't really imagine how wonderful it would be to have a child.
As little girls, we dream about it, but for men, it has to come spontaneously. So if it happens naturally, they'll get used to the idea on their own.
You shouldn't talk about it too much beforehand as a woman.
Just let it happen
Good luck with your wish for a child!
Greetings, Madelene

It'll be fine.
Yeah, if he has ADHD, thinking about it might cause him stress.
So maybe don't talk about it too much beforehand.
It'll definitely work out
I have 2 daughters and when my daughter was almost 1, I wanted to start again for a 2nd child.
This luckily worked out too. I deliberately didn't tell him anything beforehand because I knew he preferred to wait a year. But why?
Because men don't have the same imagination as to how fun it can be to start a 2nd one sooner.
So it gives them stress if you make them think about it.
I just went for it then and he gradually got used to the idea and can't imagine life without them now
So you see how it works.
Greetings, Madelene

By the way, I’m actually going for a third baby now.
Secretly hoping for a little boy.
But a girl is more than welcome too.
It’s quite funny, this third baby we’re planning for—it’s the only one that was really planned together.
The only one we’ve really discussed as a couple.
Greetings, Madelene

That's so nice that your husband really wants a family with girls. My husband has a son from his first marriage, but I don't see him anymore; he's already 16 years old. I work 5 days a week myself.

Yeah, it’s pretty intense, but it also gives me some relaxation and a chance to work.
Then I sometimes actually get a moment to rest from the hustle and bustle at home
I don’t think I could handle staying home full-time. Even though I’m crazy about my girls, I wouldn’t be able to cope just being a mom at home.
I sometimes need my job to recharge myself.
But since my girls don’t see me that much because of my work, we do extra fun things together when I’m off.
I just turned 29 myself.
He’s turning 40 this month.
I met him when he was young, exactly 3 weeks before I turned 17.
And at 22, I had my oldest daughter.
We’ve been trying since last October.

I hope your wish for a child comes true soon
I never took the pill myself, I was wondering, did you have a lot of side effects or is it manageable?
That was always my fear, so I never wanted to try it.
Much to my mother's annoyance, she really wanted me to take the pill when I was 15. She was afraid I'd get pregnant.
It's going to be an exciting time for you.
Greetings, Madelene

Oh okay, I was also early with my period, I was 10 years old, but it probably varies among women regarding side effects.
It's nice to hear from someone who doesn't have any side effects.
Well, let's wait and see and hope for the best
Have a nice evening.
Greetings, Madelene

Thank you

Sorry, but I’d really discuss this with your husband. No matter how much you want it right now, you can’t make a decision like this on your own. It’s about a baby, not just a little thing.
What if he reacts completely differently than you hoped? I think it’s quite selfish to do something like this behind someone’s back. You make big decisions together, not alone.

I definitely don’t mean this offensively, and it’s obviously your choice, but in my opinion, you really shouldn’t do this on your own.

That’s exactly what I see a lot from my surroundings too, like my 1987 has it: men will never say themselves, "Hey, let’s go for it now."
But as soon as it happens spontaneously, they are ultimately
very happy with it.
It’s a bit weird to immediately assume that it happens behind someone’s back. Sorry, but I think that’s said very weirdly.
They are married, have been together for a long time, so there’s no question of it happening behind someone’s back.
Not all pregnancies are discussed; there’s also such a thing as just being beautifully and spontaneously pregnant and both being happy about it.
Not all married or cohabiting people discuss in advance a pregnancy, how and when?
Men often need a spontaneous push in the back because they usually don’t come up with it themselves.
And only when it’s already like that do they realize how beautiful it is. We women aren’t eternally fertile, men are, so I also think that sometimes consideration should be given to women.
That’s what we’ve emigrated enough for in this day and age,
seems like it to me. Greetings, Madelene

Oh oops, my mistake. I meant emancipated enough.