2nd trimester
Depressed
Mevr.Pollepel
Hi everyone,
I'm now 27 weeks pregnant and incredibly happy with our first baby, BUT...
I'm so depressed. The pregnancy was very welcome, but I didn't expect to get pregnant right away. I hadn't mentally prepared for this, so I thought it would take another 2 or 3 months to conceive.
Once pregnant, the hormones took over and I cry at the smallest things. Anxiety also plays a role because I live abroad and don't have any friends or family here to vent to or ask for advice.
Fatigue, restlessness, my body is completely wrecked (stretch marks), crying spells, no interest in anything, not enjoying being pregnant, relationship problems, pelvic instability, high blood pressure... It's becoming too much for me. My husband does a lot for me, but as soon as I shed a tear, the plates and cups start flying around my ears.
He thinks I cry too much and whine about every little pain, but I really can't help it. I try to keep it under control, but all these things pile up and I'm just fed up with it all. Every week going up and down to the hospital, pain when walking and sleeping, ugh. I do talk to my husband about it sometimes, but it doesn't seem to affect him much. At that moment, he seems to understand, but as soon as I hit another low point, he loses his temper.
What else can I do besides maybe seeing a psychologist??
Best,
I'm now 27 weeks pregnant and incredibly happy with our first baby, BUT...
I'm so depressed. The pregnancy was very welcome, but I didn't expect to get pregnant right away. I hadn't mentally prepared for this, so I thought it would take another 2 or 3 months to conceive.
Once pregnant, the hormones took over and I cry at the smallest things. Anxiety also plays a role because I live abroad and don't have any friends or family here to vent to or ask for advice.
Fatigue, restlessness, my body is completely wrecked (stretch marks), crying spells, no interest in anything, not enjoying being pregnant, relationship problems, pelvic instability, high blood pressure... It's becoming too much for me. My husband does a lot for me, but as soon as I shed a tear, the plates and cups start flying around my ears.
He thinks I cry too much and whine about every little pain, but I really can't help it. I try to keep it under control, but all these things pile up and I'm just fed up with it all. Every week going up and down to the hospital, pain when walking and sleeping, ugh. I do talk to my husband about it sometimes, but it doesn't seem to affect him much. At that moment, he seems to understand, but as soon as I hit another low point, he loses his temper.
What else can I do besides maybe seeing a psychologist??
Best,
Replies
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madelene #2
It really comes across as if your friend can't handle your difficult emotions. Not all men know how to react well to emotions.
I've never really had fluctuating emotions myself; I'm just more sensitive now that I'm a mother. I wasn't that sensitive before.
I only had issues with fluctuating emotions during the postpartum period—postpartum tears and crying about everything.
But during pregnancy, I felt like the happiest woman and proud.
Try to enjoy it and see it as something special.
I would recommend you contact a therapist to find ways to enjoy this special period a little more.
Remember, this won't come back, and your baby in your belly is taking over all your emotions, so try to seek help.
Strength, greetings, Madelene -
BabyFever Guest #3
Hi Mvr,
I also live abroad, been here for 2 years now, and I totally get what you mean about not having family or a social support network.
My husband is very kind and understanding, luckily, so that’s a difference in our situation.
We’ve decided to go back to the Netherlands because the cultural differences and values/norms are so different from what we want to pass on to our little one. Also, having family around us and close to the baby, so they’re near grandma’s/grandpa’s and aunts/uncles, was an important factor in our decision to return.
It can be quite overwhelming sometimes... especially when you constantly have to explain in a foreign language how you feel or what you’d like or expect from the care regarding you and the baby. And when you have no one else to vent to besides your own partner, it can sometimes come across as if you’re just complaining... but please remember that a lot of women have complaints or don’t feel comfortable in their own skin; it’s all significant!!
I wanted to give you a little encouragement so you know you’re definitely not the only one with this problem. And if you’d like to connect with another pregnant expat, you’re more than welcome!
Let me know your email address and maybe we can get in touch?
Best wishes, hang in there!
Wishing you lots of strength and keep in mind why you’re doing all this... that cute little baby on the way!
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