partner doesn't help. any tips?

Jee.. Anoniem toch.. 3dgn werken and housework and a little girl is more than a full-time job.. I understand that you're going through it. I wouldn't take that, I fear. Especially not when he sleeps while you're still busy. Has he ever taken care of your daughter for a few days, so he knows how much time and energy it takes?
I'm not in the same situation, but I've already learned a thing or two about communicating with men. Maybe you can make a list or have him make a list of chores he sees himself doing and where you'd be helped. You can make clear agreements about that and hold him to it.
Fortunately, my boyfriend is willing to do everything if I ask clearly and lovingly and am willing to ask him lovingly again. Generally, men are not good at hints, but if you're already begging him. Sorry I was already long gone!

Thanks for your reply. I can ask him everything, but unfortunately, he doesn’t do it. Indeed, I very calmly plead with him, but his answer is always that he’s been working for 40 hours. That I can’t expect that from him since I only work 24 hours. The worst part is that he also drinks at least 1 to 2 liters of beer every day. I’ve been asking him since my pregnancy if he wants to stop. Unfortunately, he also says no to that. I really started thinking I was being weird for being so exhausted, but I’m glad for your response.
He has babysat twice in those 8 months. So he doesn’t feel how intensive it is.

Wow... that's really tough for you.
If I were you, I'd write down everything you do for a few days, like eating/cooking = 30 mins, caring for the little one = 30 mins, vacuuming = 30 mins, etc.
Then add it all up, including everything, even night feedings.
I think you'll be shocked at how many hours you're actually 'working'.
Just put that in his face and say: you work 40 hours a week, but I (will end up with a much higher number) hours. And part of that time is at night. Do you really think that's fair?

Or just try to plan a day off or an evening now and then. So you get some time for yourself and he has to step up and look after the kids.

You'll need to make it clear somehow that first of all, it's not fairly divided.
And secondly, that you just can't take it anymore. Tell him that if you completely break down, he'll have to do everything alone!

As for the drinking: have you talked to your GP about it yet? Because 1 to 2 liters... every day! That's quite a lot. It's basically an addiction.

I wish you lots of strength and some rest for yourself too.

That's a good tip from Mandy! Encouraging with facts.
So much beer also points to an addiction for me, and maybe even a depression with so much sleeping involved.
Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable with it either and needs help from a professional.

Oh my goodness, girl. Writing it down is also a good vacation for yourself to see how much you work.
More than 3 drinks per day or a lot in the weekend for a man is actually already addiction. It's very good to talk about it with your doctor. He/she could help you or refer you.
I hope he accepts help.
I know how intense it is, having experienced alcohol addiction up close. And as a partner, it often takes time before you see it.
You're not exaggerating with emotions!
You can ask and expect that you both do things together.

Hi anonymous, I can totally imagine how frustrating that must be.

With us, it was the other way around. My husband wanted to do everything with the baby right from the start. When our oldest was born, it was so hard for me because he already wanted to take over all the care. We had a doula, but he still wanted to do everything—giving baths, soothing her when she cried. I was going crazy over it. He said he found it endearing, but I was getting mad. He even wanted to wash her clothes.

But anyway, he meant well. He was just so into his dad role, but I couldn't handle it then. I was also more emotionally sensitive back then due to the postpartum hormones.

In your situation, I'd actually like to ask: Did he do very little even before your child was born? Because as crazy as it sounds, if men have everything done for them from the very beginning, not much changes after the baby is born. It's really important, unfortunately, that you show early on that you expect him to help. Some women give up and think, oh well, he's just a man. That's wrong because that makes it easy for them.

Men can help too, but you have to teach them. Tell them exactly what you expect from them. Women naturally sense when someone needs help, but with men, you have to ask and explain how important their help is to you and what it means to you. Men like to feel needed, believe me. Unfortunately, you have to explain beforehand how much their help makes a difference for you.

Wishing you lots of strength, and I hope this helps. These are always tough things.

Greetings, Madelene