Pregnant and working
scared to tell at work
sissi
My husband and I really want to have a baby. We've talked about it so much as a couple, and the only reason I'd wait to get pregnant is that I've only been at my new job for six months. I do have a permanent contract, but I'm so scared to tell my employer and to hear the reactions from my colleagues, or what they might say behind my back. Am I the only one feeling this way? What do you all think?
Replies
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ly Guest #2
Hey girl!
I'm in the exact same boat!
I'm 10 weeks along now, and waiting for my new contract. It lines up right during peak season.
It's so hard!
Wishing you all the best of luck with sharing the news! -
sirithtasiel Guest #3
I totally relate to that feeling! I had just signed a new contract on November 1st, with a one-month probation period, and two weeks later I found out I was pregnant!! I started working on December 1st, but I've already had to call in sick twice because of the awful nausea. I decided to quit during the second time because I thought, "It doesn't look great to search for a new job while still on probation..." So far, my boss's reaction has been good—he congratulated me and wished me strength with the nausea. I feel a bit relieved now, but I won't really feel at ease until I'm sure my probation period is over on January 1st. Wishing you lots of success with your dilemma! -
sissi started this #4
Does fear of saying it also overshadow the joy of pregnancy for you? I'm so scared of this. I just want to be happily pregnant and not have to be afraid of reactions and consequences of the pregnancy. -
Twiggy #5
Sissi,
I totally get your fear. I'm still in my probation period (which lasts 2.5 months because of my planned vacation). My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for over a year, but I decided to keep applying for jobs in the meantime. In late April, I got, hooray!, a job. I didn't mention during the interview that I was trying to conceive. And then last week I found out I'm pregnant. I'm really dreading having to tell my boss. I'd rather wait until after I've signed my six-month contract. Hopefully I can hide my fatigue, dizziness, and nausea a bit. It was tough at work last week (that's why I decided to take a pregnancy test
).
I'm curious to hear your employer's reaction, Sissi. Will you let us know? I will too. Good luck (to the other ladies as well)! -
Twiggy #6
Oh, I just saw the date now, didn't look closely You've probably already told me.. Hope it wasn't too bad 
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Tata #7
@twiggy I know how you feel. I'm also scared to tell at work.
Currently I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I already have a permanent contract but I've only been working there for 9 months.
I have to say I'm pregnant soon because I work with radiation.
When I called my OB-GYN on Thursday to make a first appointment, I had to come in that same evening. She gave me a pregnancy certificate right away and told me to inform my boss as soon as possible.
I find this quite difficult. We already have a shortage of specialized staff. Last week a colleague told us she was pregnant and our whole department was turned upside down because she immediately had to get adjusted work.
All colleagues wholeheartedly wish her this pregnancy because she's been trying for so long.
However, no one expects me to be pregnant. I'm 41 after all and already have 3 children...
Should I tell this week or should I keep quiet a bit longer? For me too, adjusted work will have to be found, which means my colleagues (for now) will have to work harder...
Keep me posted? -
Twiggy #8
Hi Tata,
It's sweet that you're thinking about your colleagues too. But right now, the most important thing is to think about yourself and your baby! I understand it feels difficult, but I'd still say don't put it off any longer. What does it matter whether this is your second or third child, or how old you are? It's not your boss and colleagues' place to judge that If they do judge, that says more about them than about you. Of course, it's annoying if they make rude comments. But I think it's mostly just fear in your head. It'll probably be fine!
I was going to tell them today because the symptoms are getting worse, and it's really hard to pretend everything's okay. But this morning I twisted my neck several times, so I called in sick. Hopefully, the nausea won't be so bad tomorrow (it's been different each day so far), so I can go to work and tell my boss... -
Tata #9
Hey Twiggy, I've made up my mind!
On Thursday morning, I told a colleague. She told me to go straight to our head because she didn't want me to end up in the bunker (where the risk of radiation is highest).
So I went to see our head and told her I had news she wouldn't be happy about. When I then told her I was pregnant, she was actually relieved. She thought I was coming to tell her I wanted to leave...
I asked her not to tell the other colleagues yet, but she said that in a place like ours, that's impossible.
Five minutes after I had been with her, the first colleagues were already at my desk to congratulate me...
My schedule had to be adjusted, so shifts had to be swapped. As a result, everyone knows now. Fortunately, everyone reacted positively.
That same day, I had to go to the occupational health doctor so I could get adjusted duties. I'm now only allowed to operate the machine and treat the patients with radiation. I'm no longer allowed to enter the bunker to position the patients. So my work has suddenly become much lighter. (I don't know if I mentioned this, but I'm a nurse and I work in the radiotherapy department. That's where cancer patients get treated with radiation).
I'm glad I told them!
Have you told anyone yet?? -
Twiggy #10
Hi Tata,
Yes, I told him last Wednesday. My boss reacted positively, he congratulated me. I also notice that he tries to take me into account. He asked, for example, if I wanted to lift something and then right after: "can you still do that?". We haven't talked about my contract yet...
Good that you told him! The health of your baby comes first after all Nice that they all congratulated you. And it's also nice that your work is a bit less heavy now. Being pregnant is heavy enough Now enjoy your pregnancy! I'm going to do that too -
nance Guest #11
I also find it hard to tell them I have to get my contract extended in August from my job. I'm afraid that if I tell them, my contract won't be extended. I'm currently 12 weeks along, so unfortunately, I can't put it off for long. Dilemma dilemma. -
Els #12
kind of in a dilemma.. have to go back to school from my employer starting in september and i'm currently 10 weeks and 1 day pregnant.. if i don't go to school i have to resign with an agreement... so i've applied to the school.. i really want to do it.. the little one gives me extra motivation to get that hbo diploma.. still 2 years of hard work.. and luckily i have my partner and family i can rely on....
i still don't dare to tell it properly at work.. i'd like to work one day less because otherwise it's too much (even without the baby) working 4 days and going to school on one day is very hard..
once i have everything in writing i'll tell my supervisor... he'd be happy for me... it's the other managers i'm afraid of... but well... what can they do to you.... i just have the right to maternity leave and i'll just go to school and finish it... so i'll stick to all the rules...
i want to have everything in writing first and then i'll tell them..... or would they see that as a trap for me....... -
Twiggy #13
Unfortunately, I lost my job after all. Although his initial reaction wasn't too bad, my boss wasn't happy about it. I know that an employer isn't allowed to refuse to hire me for that reason, but in practice, it wasn't practical to stay on. I was his only employee, so I worked closely with him. And I didn't really fancy working with someone who would rather not have hired me. So I didn't bother trying to appeal his decision or anything. Now I have plenty of time to enjoy my pregnancy (and to take afternoon naps). -
Miss V #14
I'm pregnant too and will have to tell my work about it. I have a permanent contract and have been working there for five years. In 2014, I gave birth to my first child, and that was all no problem. Now they're working on a joint venture, and after a year, they're going to shut down the boat and don't want to lose anything... There will be layoffs. And now I have to tell them at the end of August that I'm pregnant. I'll probably end up being laid off since they can use my C4 reorganization as an excuse. Oh well, we'll see... It's not exactly fun.. :s -
Danishka Guest #15
I know that feeling too. I was already hired in May to start my new job after my wedding in July. At that time, we weren't yet trying to conceive. But then I fell and broke my foot, so the wedding was postponed, and so was the start of my job. Now I'm starting in August at my new job, and by complete coincidence, I have a 9-month contract???? Now I'm wondering whether to start trying to conceive now or wait until after the wedding, considering pregnancy symptoms and my work situation. It's really hard. You should be happy, but indeed, the fear of having to tell your workplace is growing. But then again, they can probably understand if they hire someone who's 35 and still doesn't have kids... -
Phylicia Guest #16
Hi everyone, I'm definitely scared about losing my job. I'm now 12 weeks pregnant and have started working again today, Oct 21, 2015. I've been looking for work for so long, and now I finally found something I really like. It's three one-month contracts, after which I might get a permanent contract. I really enjoy the job and am afraid that if I tell my boss, he won't renew my contract. The work isn't too heavy, and when it's quiet, I can sit down for a bit. I'm really worried about this, but I'll have to tell him anyway because it's already starting to show. Can someone tell me if I'm protected against this? Does he have the right not to renew my contract just because I'm pregnant? -
selina92 #17
I'm 5 weeks pregnant and have told my manager.
I have a permanent contract and she also has a child, so there's no fuss at all. -
Ano Guest #18
Nothing to worry about
I also found out here that my colleague was 3 months pregnant and wouldn’t be coming back to work for the full 9 months, just 2 days after my positive test
(she had already been on sick leave for 3 months at that point, but we didn’t know why).
Oops.
There are only 3 of us on the team, so now one colleague will have to do the work of 3 this summer. For that reason, I also told everyone at 12 weeks with a bit of a heavy heart, but everyone was so positive!! Both my boss and the colleague who’ll have to do all the work alone.
What I do notice is that I’m also afraid to take sick leave like my colleague, even though I clearly feel my body needs rest. In principle, we’re supposed to keep working until 39 weeks in our desk job. If my colleague hadn’t taken the full 9 months of sick leave, I probably would’ve called myself sick sooner to get some rest. Now I don’t want to burden my third colleague, so I’ll just keep struggling along until 39 weeks
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Estoni #19
You know, they'll find out anyway. So there's no point in being scared, but still lots of luck!
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