After 8 months, still not pregnant

@Feza: We only told the people who are close to us. It's indeed a relief to be able to talk about it, so I'm glad I found this forum I can also talk to my partner, best friends, and family, but it's still different. You guys are really in the middle of it.

Hi ladies,
I'm glad I can relate to your stories. How awful I feel for you.
I had my IUD removed in July. In August, I got a positive pregnancy test right away. Two weeks later, I started bleeding. First brown blood, then bright red. The midwife confirmed a miscarriage after an ultrasound. On the one hand, I was quite positive. I thought, at least I can get pregnant.
Three weeks later, I was still bleeding. Eventually, I went to the hospital. It turned out I had an ectopic pregnancy. It looked like my body was resolving it on its own. Luckily, no surgery to remove my fallopian tube. In total, I bled for another 8 weeks. I was going crazy. My first period didn't come until mid-October. Since then, my cycle has been irregular, ranging from 28-30-34 days.

Today, I got my period again after 34 days. The longest cycle ever. Every period feels like a failure. I'm so disappointed. I cry like a toddler. I also think that it'll never work out or that it'll go wrong again. Super exaggerated, I know. But it just doesn't go the way I want.
Sounds super spoiled and silly. I know people who have been trying for years, and I feel ashamed of my thoughts. Sorry for my long post. Lots of strength, dear ladies. I hope you get pregnant soon.

Tomorrow is the day, I'm nervous about the visit to the gynecologist. I've never had this before. But after 17 months of trying and still no pregnancy, I'm really tired of waiting! Last week, my boyfriend took his sample to the fertility clinic, tomorrow we'll get the results.... I'm a bit scared about what tests might come next; the gynecologist already mentioned last time that they might need to check my fallopian tubes by flushing them, but as much as I want this... I'm afraid of having that done (I'd go through with it, but I'm really scared...)

Sending you lots of strength today, I can imagine this is really stressful for you both.

It can take a long time before you're expecting. Same story here: since December 1, 2017, we've been trying to get pregnant, and we're still at it now, so it really takes a lot of patience!

The messages above are so relatable. It’s comforting to know that others feel the same way. I stopped taking the pill back in January '18. My cycle was very irregular in the first few months. Each disappointment has been heavier than I expected. We really want a baby, but I’ve started letting go of the thought “we’ll see.”
Thankfully, I have lots of support from my partner. We’ve decided that if it doesn’t happen this month, we’ll go to the GP together.

Strength to you, girl! Hopefully, things will get better soon! How are all the ladies doing, by the way?

So relatable, all your stories! We've been trying for 6 months now, and since this month I've been using ovulation tests... everyone says the test line should be darker than the control line. Well, mine has never been darker! What should I make of that??

I can start testing again after the upcoming weekend, both ovulation and pregnancy tests are flying out the door here... but all for a good cause!

It feels like I'm reading my own story. I've been trying for over 8 months now, with the last 4 months using ovulation tests. Healthy lifestyle, my husband quit smoking. Everyone around me is a lady who blinks and gets pregnant, even very close by (seriously, 5 ladies, all within 3 months grr).
I have a medical condition that could affect fertility, but the internist doesn't think it's necessary to see a gynecologist yet. I would really just like to have a chat / be reassured. Maybe I should play it safe and go through the GP?
How did it end up with the tests?

@Pregnantwish I'm on the waiting bench again... my partner has now said he wants to get his sperm tested. I wasn't keen on bringing it up, so I'm glad he's the one who brought it up. Hopefully it'll be a success this month... just a few days until my period and I keep getting myself all worked up, silly me!

Hey girls, what such relatable stories.

We've been at it for 17 months now (currently on round 19). We've pretty much had all the tests and nothing is wrong, so there's no reason why it's not working. Very frustrating..
I've stopped smoking and drinking for months now, although my boyfriend still smokes but luckily drinks very little.
We also eat very healthily and watch everything we do.. yet it still doesn't work
I had a uterine scan two weeks ago and my left fallopian tube was blocked, they managed to flush it open during the scan. (ouch)
Apparently, you're extra fertile for half a year after such a scan, so I have a bit of hope again.
If it doesn't work by June this year, we'll go back to the hospital and look into further options (medical mill) but hopefully that won't be necessary.
After a year and a half, we think it's about time it works xD every month another disappointment.. it's getting heavier and heavier..

I've been away for a bit, had some not-so-good news on 21/1. No sperm cells were found in my partner's sperm sample... It was a blow to us! We were referred to fertility, where we normally have an appointment today, but the fertility department has suddenly closed at our hospital. We now have an appointment in March at UZA... so scared, so many questions...

@Fana I've added you to the group!

@Angelajj maybe that's why it didn't work out because it was hidden? I'm rooting for you that it works out now!

@myzona thank you, girl, I hope so too!

Hi ladies, I thought I’d share my story too (for the first time)..
I’m 30 now and have a partner. I wanted to stop the pill for a while now, but my partner wasn’t ready for that yet. We did discuss a deadline though!
In late July 2018 I took my last pill. (I’d been on the pill since I was 13)
We stopped with the motto “we’ll see how it goes”.. I had read online that a cycle lasts about 28 days and all our friends around us got pregnant in 1 or 2 months.
My period came neatly a few days after my last pill (which wasn’t a real period yet), so then it really started.. After 28 days I wasn’t on my period so I thought hmm, am I maybe never going to get my period? Maybe I’m infertile.. After 34 days I took a test! No, unfortunately.. my cycle was 36 days..
The next month I took a test on day 37... it turned out the cycle was 38 days.. and from then on it was clear my cycle fluctuates between 36 and 38 days..
It’s been over half a year now, and I track with apps when ovulation should be roughly.. My partner then asks “when is it our week again?”. Because that week we’re a bit more active!
I’m happily done with testing, I made a deal with myself to only test between 40-42 days.
But every month around when my period is supposed to come, I’m on an emotional rollercoaster again.. I tell myself, don’t overthink it! But you do it anyway!!
Everyone around me has kids, but online it says it takes an year on average.. I think “why are you being so selfish”... but also think “why isn’t it working for me so quickly” “am I already too old” “is something wrong with me” “you’re thinking about it too much, that’s why it’s not working”
In other words, am I driving myself crazy????
I googled “not pregnant after 7 months” and ended up on this forum. I’m glad I’m not the only one...... sigh!

Hi Bella,

You're definitely not the only one. I came here via a similar search term too.
Two weeks ago I was 2 days late and then unfortunately had a very heavy period. What a misery. I'm now in round 10... Hoping that this time it will be positive.
Especially because of those thoughts you describe too. I often think, if I got a note saying it would only happen in 2 years - fine. I could live with that. But that uncertainty and especially the fear that something terrible is wrong... Those are really killing.

Hi Bella,

I also ended up on this forum in a similar way. It's nice that we can share experiences and find support here.

I'll be turning 30 at the end of this year, and my partner will be 34 in October.

I relate to your story; I also started the pill early (at 14). I stopped in December 2017, also with the "let's see what happens" attitude. However, it took about 6 to 7 months for my cycle to become somewhat normal again. First, I had no periods for months, then suddenly I was on my period for 3 weeks in a row. It was a nightmare! Meanwhile, we're being monitored more closely. In February, we had regular check-ups to see when ovulation would happen, and we try to take that into account, although it's not easy with my partner's busy job.

So I did expect it wouldn't be cheap, but there was still disappointment when I got my period after being 2 days late.

Now it's the first cycle with Clomid. During the check-up on Saturday, they saw 2 eggs, but they weren't big enough yet. Back for a check-up on Tuesday.

We have to be patient, but as you say, it's really not straightforward!

I follow you all 100%. At first, I wasn't really that bothered by it. My periods didn't come, so I thought... I'm not fertile yet! But when they finally start again... (after 8 months!) you think "Now I'll get pregnant super fast"... and how big the disappointment is when it turns out that's not the case! I've shed tears... I've been angry... I even went back on the pill for a month out of frustration (dumb dumb dumb! "I don't want kids anymore" .. :-)) It's such ups and downs that you sometimes wonder if you're meant to be a mom at all...