Forum 1st trimester

When do you tell her she's going to be a big sister?

16 replies

nienke
I know it's still a bit early at 8 weeks, but when did you tell your son or daughter that a baby is on the way?

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    Hi Nienke,

    I think opinions are pretty divided on this one. I’d definitely wait until you’re 12 or 13 weeks along, so the risk of miscarriage is lowest. How old is your son or daughter? That also plays a part. I’m 10 weeks pregnant myself and my kids still don’t know, because I had a miscarriage before this one. The kids did know last time; we had just told them (at 12 weeks) when I had a late miscarriage. Our kids were really disappointed that there wouldn’t be a baby after all.

    Now we’re going to tell them once I’ve had my 12-week scan. There are downsides to telling them early. Kids find a week already feels like forever, let alone 6 months. So it really depends on the child, I think. Some kids ask every day how much longer it’ll be until the baby comes. That doesn’t sound very nice to me. You could also wait until your belly starts showing. As long as they don’t hear it from someone else!

    Well, good luck with it.

    Love,

  2. Josefien Guest #3

    We told our first about it after around 20 weeks, but even that was a bit too early in hindsight. He was only a year and a half then and didn’t really understand much of it yet. It only started to sink in a bit when he could feel the baby.

  3. nienke started this #4

    Our daughter is over 2.5 years old. My first idea is to wait until it's visibly obvious and maybe even palpable. But I'm indeed afraid she'll hear it from others later on. That they'll say to her, "How nice, you're going to be a big sister," or "Mommy has a baby in her tummy." Waiting always feels like forever for a little one, of course. I don't know if it works the other way around too—like if they know earlier, they'll get used to it earlier...? I just got a Nijntje book, little Pluis:-D. About them having a little sibling coming. I'm curious what she'll think of it.
    Greetings, Nienke

  4. Uk #5

    Hi,

    We told people around 16 weeks because I had a miscarriage before that. I wanted to have two good ultrasounds first.

    Best, Nicole

  5. nienke started this #6

    Hi Nicole,
    how old was your little one when you told them?
    Greetings, Nienke :-D

  6. Michelle #7

    Hi Nienke,

    We told the kids last Monday. At that time, I was over 6 weeks...
    Maybe a bit fast, but I'm not very good at keeping things to myself, and my kids always figure things out anyway :-)

  7. nienke started this #8

    Hi Michelle, funny that you say that, that your kids pick up on things. I have the feeling our daughter has noticed something is off. She's been reacting differently for the past 2-3 weeks. And it's just "mama mama mama!" Big tears when I leave the toddler playgroup and when I go to work in the evening she's also very sad

  8. jeanette scheppers #9

    Our daughter is two and a half now and has known from the very beginning. She was there when the test was done and suddenly said on her own, "Mom has a baby in her tummy." I didn't want to lie, so I just confirmed it. From time to time, she brings it up again, strokes my belly or gives it a kiss, and then isn't bothered by it for days or weeks. So, no, I don't regret letting her know from the start.

  9. Sofie Guest #10

    I’ve known for a few days that I’m pregnant and I’m now in week five. My boyfriend already has a kid who’s 10 years old. Since his ex had two miscarriages last year, we’ve decided to tell his son only after the ultrasound. This is because his little boy was really sad about what happened with his biological mom. (She had told him from the start of the pregnancy.) Other close family (parents, brothers/sisters) already know!

  10. Uk #11

    Hi Nienke,

    My child is 3 years old and really understands what's going on. We also have a book from which we read every night, and a nine-month calendar for kids.

  11. Mama_van _Danae #12

    @uk: Can I ask which book you're reading from?

  12. nienke started this #13

    @uk; I'm also really curious about that book...:-)

    I'm going on Saturday for my first ultrasound, so nervous..., and if everything looks good, I think I'll tell my daughter. According to my calculations, I'll be almost 10 weeks then, and then the whole world can know that we're expecting a second baby, hi hi!:-D

  13. marianne5 #14

    We told them pretty quickly. Because she's very clingy and mom's been glued to the toilet lately, and she thought I was super sick... she's almost 5.

  14. Iza #15

    We told him as early as possible; our oldest was just 1 back then, so he didn’t really get it. When my belly started growing, he only started to realize something was going on, but it really hit him when his little brother was born It really depends on the age, I think, on when and how you tell them (e.g., with books, etc.).

  15. AnnaRebecca #16

    Silvan is 5.5, and we told him around 7 weeks. I just couldn't keep it to myself, and my circle already knew anyway! I'd hate for him to hear it from someone else... He thought it was cool and sometimes brings it up. Other than that, everything's the same as always!

  16. Anna Guest #17

    After the first ultrasound, I told her—I couldn't avoid it!
    I had to run to the bathroom to throw up and have a bowel movement, and I was so tired.
    My daughter also perfectly noticed that something was wrong.

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