dad does nothing

I can't really talk about what you're going through right now, but I'm 32 weeks pregnant in less than 2 days and I'm also noticing that I'm doing everything on my own. We're still pretty young, both 21 years old. We got married and 2 months later we got pregnant unexpectedly. I never wanted kids and wanted to travel and enjoy life. When I found out I was pregnant, I had mixed emotions because it was really hard for me mentally, and I didn't always get support from my husband because he didn't understand me. Why I was sad because he does want kids and I don't: But I decided to keep the baby anyway, my gut feeling was that I had to do this and I couldn't just get rid of it, otherwise I'd feel so guilty towards our child.

Also, throughout the whole pregnancy I do the housework alone. And I'm tired of it, I clean up and the next day it's a mess again. Every day I work different hours. Sometimes I work late shifts until evening and the next morning back until afternoon, other days just the same hours. I have absolutely no rhythm. After my shifts or on my days off, I'm at home doing housework because I do everything alone.

When I get angry, he finally does the dishes or vacuuming and mopping. My husband works night shifts and afternoon to evening. We work at the same place, so we don't see each other that often. When I'm off he has to work, which is very difficult.

We also have to wash our laundry at the laundromat and we do that together because I can't lift the bags, they're too heavy. Otherwise we wouldn't have clean clothes. And we also do the groceries together.

When I have time with him, he'd rather go to his friends. Or if we go for a walk together, he's with me for 2 hours and then he's gone for another 4 hours to see his friends.

I asked him to do this less, I understand that you want to relax, but you have to learn to take responsibility. And my question was, are you going to do this too once our baby is here, and he said yes.

Now that I know our baby is coming, he's away every day and I end up having everything on my own. I've had conversations with him about it and according to him, I'm exaggerating.

Also, our summer vacation plans have changed because I'm due in July and we were going to travel together to his country.

He hasn't been there for 5 years and we had everything planned, but because we got pregnant unexpectedly, we're not doing this anymore. Now he's like, we're young, we'll leave the baby with mom and we'll go together.

I say no, that's not how it works and he answers yes, we're young, we need to have fun, party and enjoy life. To which I reply, of course I want that too, but first we need to take responsibility and take care of our child, both of us. (This is exactly what I was afraid of at the beginning of my pregnancy, he didn't understand why I was sad and now he realizes it himself)

Then he says yes, then I'll go to my country alone, visit family, go to my friends and I'd like to visit his dad's grave. I understand that you miss it there, but still he has to take his responsibility.

The downside is he talked about it with a colleague of ours and she told him yes you should go to your country and enjoy... which led to us having an argument.

And since then we've still been arguing because I supposedly exaggerate. And he gets confirmation from the colleague that he's right.

Now I don't know what to do either.