Mother-in-law

Yeah, I know that! My mother-in-law has been saying since I was pregnant with my first child that I couldn't do it and that I had to give the baby to her, and I couldn't even take care of myself and my husband, so how could I possibly take care of a baby. And after my son was born, she still claims I'm doing everything wrong. I can't cook, I can't clean, I'm not changing my child's diaper properly (I don't even know what you could possibly do wrong with a diaper). And it just goes on and on, it's basically non-stop. So I've decided that my son and I aren't going there anymore. My husband still goes, of course, but then there's always an argument because she thinks I should apologize for taking her place... I don't quite understand what she means by that. I've always been nice to her, but for some reason, it was never good enough, so fine! It's a tough situation, but you have to make sure you don't end up really unhappy because of it. Good luck with it! Love, Manon

If reacting doesn't help, pull up a heavy, thick roller blind every time she makes a stupid comment! Good luck.

Grandmas!!! It's enough to drive you crazy. My 8-month-old son is pretty much an obsession for her! If she hasn't seen him for 2 days, she's already at the door! I'm now 12 weeks pregnant with our second child. Her reaction was very negative! She's afraid that our son will come in second place. I told her that all my kids come first, pffft. I'm now completely excluding her from the pregnancy and trying to see her as little as possible. Yes, they're difficult creatures!

I'm so glad I have a lovely mother-in-law... especially now that I had to say goodbye to my own mom in July.. she's an angel now.
The loss is huge, and especially when something comes up or you just want to ask something, it's not possible anymore.. I'm glad I have a lovely mother-in-law and can talk to her.. and she tries to be there for me.. she's not pushy but does let things come from my side.

@ Dammie I feel the same way; I also had to say goodbye to my own mother in July. Now I have a question for you: are you currently pregnant too? How are you coping with it?
I’m going through the same thing as my mom. My mom passed away 9 weeks ago yesterday, and I became pregnant 9 weeks ago yesterday. Even more meaningful is that my due date is around May 4th, and my mom’s birthday is on May 14th. I have to go to the midwife on October 10th and need to fill out a list of questions about my baby’s health issues, which I unfortunately won’t be able to ask anymore. How are you dealing with this? On one hand, I’m super happy with my little miracle, but on the other hand, I’m still trying to process everything because of my mom.

Tammy, my mom passed away in 2004.
During my first pregnancy, I had a lot of questions about how her pregnancy was. Unfortunately, I couldn’t ask her.
My dad passed away in 2009, and my little boy is starting to look more and more like him.
They would be so proud!

Hi Tammy

I'm now 35 weeks pregnant. When it happened, I was 25 weeks..
I told the midwife right away and she supported me really well. Especially because it's all so emotional.
I often have questions I can't ask right now.. I happen to know some things.. but sometimes you just have those questions..
Now I'm admitted to the hospital for observation because my blood pressure is too high. Other checks are fine. Except for my headache.. and then you have those moments where you really want to call your mom..
My mother-in-law is there for me... but it's still different.. and I miss mom terribly.
The advice I can give you is.. let the tears flow when they come.. I tried to hold them back for a long time because I got hard contractions.. but maybe it would have been better if I had let them out more... because I notice now that I'm struggling with it and sometimes very emotional...
And the feeling that when the baby is born.. mom won't be there... she is there but in a different way .
Our little one has been very active since mom passed away.. I feel her well and that always gives me a happy feeling..
Try to enjoy your pregnancy too and the midwife will help you a lot... I have that experience.. even burst into tears once but they were there for me and still are..
Strength, girl.. it's no small thing..
Especially since it's so close together. 9 weeks ago. 9 weeks pregnant. May 4th counted out and your mom's birthday is May 14th... it had to be this way.. it keeps you going and gives you energy to keep going... a beautiful miracle and enjoy it..

Love Dammie

Hi Dammie,

Yeah, that’s definitely something that should never happen – having to say goodbye to your own mother, especially when you need her so much, and something you normally wouldn’t even think about. It’s always been like that for me too; whenever something came up, I’d just call my mom, and now I read that it’s the same for you.

I do have a relationship with my mother-in-law, but it’s different. She’s a really sweet person, but you still miss the comfort of your own mom.

I’m going to the midwife for the first time on Oct 10th, and I hope I’ll have as nice a baby as you

Wishing you lots of strength, of course! You’re almost there, right?

I hope to hear from you once you’ve given birth.

And thank you for your sweet message (it brought a tear to my eye).

X Tamara

Hi Tammy,

Not sure if you're still on this forum. But I didn't reply after the birth.
I was induced at 37 weeks and 5 days. Everything went well. We got a beautiful daughter, and she's already 19 months old now. I'm pregnant with our second child. I'm now 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant, so counting down the days.
After the birth of our first girl, I was really like a lion. No one was allowed to hold her. I was very protective, but it hurt me that mom wasn't there. That she couldn't enjoy it. Because of this, I had trouble letting our daughter go to someone to admire.
During my leave, everything went well. When I went back to work, the blow I was so afraid of came. I suffered from a late postpartum depression. I got guidance, which did me good. I could only cry. Looking back, I should have called in sick, but I just kept going. Eventually, I had to suddenly work 40 hours a week instead of my 20 hours, and I made the decision. And I was transferred to another department. By then, I was already pregnant with our second child..
I now also have occasional ups and downs, but they're easier to handle and I can deal with them better.
How are things with you?

Honestly, I find it quite a weird comment, and she should be ashamed to make such a remark. It comes across to me as cats and you challenging each other. Try to stand above her no matter how difficult it is. And think with every strange comment: it has nothing to do with me. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You're good just the way you are, and everyone has their own insecurities; that's very human. It would be strange and inhuman if you didn't have them. You know who you are, and that's what matters. If she or someone else doesn't like it, then that's their problem. People take you as you are. If it goes too far, let your husband say something, especially if it happens more often. I wouldn't make remarks back myself, otherwise she can always use that to show your husband. See, she gets angry. Stay strong. Greetings, Madelene.