Forum Cozy chat baby forum

Girl's earrings

29 replies · page 1 of 2

Vera
Hi everyone,

I saw a similar question posted here before, but I’d still love to hear your thoughts.

How early or late do you (or plan to) get your daughters’ ears pierced?

It really varies, of course, depending on culture or religion.

I’m not looking for any judgmental responses about how it’s “abuse” to pierce a baby girl’s ears. Just want to know what people are doing and when.

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. kruimel #2

    I’m personally not a big fan of this. I got my first ear piercings at 6 and already had 7 by the time I was 10.
    I think you can pierce a baby’s ears if they really want to, but a little baby/toddler has no choice in it. Mommy thinks it looks nice, but the child themselves doesn’t benefit from it at all.

    And hopefully this isn’t an unintelligent reply, just my opinion
    Personally, if I had a daughter, I’d let her choose for herself. If she’s 3 and says, “Mommy, I want piercings,” then sure, go ahead.

    Do you already have plans? And how old is your daughter?

    grKruimel

  2. Vera started this #3

    Haha no, no unintelligent answer, okay! That's totally fine. Not giving criticism, just stating your preference is great!

    I definitely don't plan on giving my daughter earrings. She's only 3.5 months old, but I want to do it around her first birthday.

    I got my own earrings very late, in my opinion (4 years old).

    I think that when kids are little, they don't feel the pain as much. Later on, they'll experience it more. They might be scared of it. If a girl later decides she doesn't want earrings (which probably doesn't happen that often), she can always take them out.

    Anyway, I'm open to everything, so I wanted to hear how others do it.

    Greetings

  3. kruimel #4

    I don't know if they don't feel the pain. I always have the feeling that you're forcing a child on them. Who knows, maybe she doesn't want it at all, but it's true that they can get out when they don't want to anymore.
    My parents always gave me a lot of freedom in these matters: if you want something, fine, but don't cry out if it hurts. That's how I plan to raise my kids, unfortunately, it's not there yet!

    xKruimel

  4. mamafincham #5

    Well, I just had my daughter's ears pierced at 3 months old—not every jeweler does it.
    The midwife told me that it's really not a trauma for a 3-month-old baby; they don't remember these kinds of things. And when they pierced her ears, she just kept smiling at me the whole time, no fuss at all... They also don't get lumpy and are nicely centered in her little earlobes.
    I've always put button studs in her ears, even now that she's 9, or small hoops that sit close to her ear, you know... Because I don't want her to get those stretched earlobes...

  5. Vera started this #6

    Mamafingam, nice to see you wishing for something different. Yeah, it was probably cute too.
    Your daughter is 9 now and still happy with it, I assume.
    I'll also check at CB. I don't know what we're going to do yet myself, but it seems nice to us anyway.

    My sister-in-law is Brazilian and her little girl got ear piercings right after birth in the hospital. They do that there again so.....

    Every country its own.... I find that quite special.

    @kruimel, good that you want to raise your child freely and let them make choices. That's perfectly fine.

    I think there's 'almost' no girl who doesn't want to wear little earrings.
    And when they're older, they can choose whether to have them or not.

    When you're older, you're more afraid of pain. Little ones handle it better.
    But as I said, that's just what I think.

    More reactions welcome.

  6. Poesh #7

    I agree with Kruimel—if they want it themselves, fine, otherwise I won't let it happen.
    I got my own earrings when I was about 6 or 7. A couple of weeks before my first communion, but in our case, all the girls in the class did it... It's just that when one starts, suddenly they all want them. If we ever have a girl and she asks for earrings at age 3, sure. Otherwise, I won't start on it. I might bring it up around age 6, but even then, the choice is hers.
    The thing is, they can always take them out later. But the hole stays visible for quite a while... And there are already enough girls struggling with their appearance, so I don't want to decide something like this for them. If they want it at first and then suddenly don't anymore, that hole is their own doing.

  7. Anonymous Guest #8

    I completely agree with Kruimel and Poesh. When they're a bit older and they don't want earrings anymore, you'll still see the holes for a long time.
    There's 1 argument and/or tip that I missed in the previous forum too. There are plenty of people with a nickel allergy. Imagine if your little one reacts to nickel, you wouldn't want that, would you? You could have them pierced with gold buttons instead. I myself have a nickel allergy. At age 9, I wanted earrings. I got them, but it went wrong. Many years later, I tried gold again. This time it went well.

  8. kruimel #9

    The saying "if you want to look good, you have to suffer" definitely applies here, I think.
    If a little one wants something, they should just accept the consequences of that too... Even if it hurts, after all, they wanted it themselves!

    I don't know if kids will suffer any trauma at such a young age. Piercing ears is something quite innocent, but I did read in my sister's study books that kids can even get traumatized by a difficult birth... This would then show up at a later age, but I don't know how true that is, but anyway (:

    Fortunately, everyone's opinion on this is different here; otherwise, all kids in the world would look the same, which would also be boring!

    @mamafincham it's nice that your girl went through having her ears pierced without any hesitation or fuss, I've seen it differently before, hehe!

    @poesh well, that's often how it goes with girls of that age, hehe. If one does it, the other wants to too!

    xKruimel

  9. Poesh #10

    @Anoniem, indeed nickel allergy, I can speak from experience too. It was only discovered later because I first had gold earrings, after all it was for my communion .
    Then after that I tried other regular earrings and always had problems, now it's either gold or silver for me.

  10. Vera started this #11

    Hi everyone,

    Thank you all so much for your replies.
    I agree with Anoniem. If it's earrings, then preferably gold.

    I myself also have a nickel allergy, and that's indeed not very nice...

  11. kruimel #12

    True, if you're going to do it, do it well (:

  12. Lynn #13

    Hi...

    I also had my girl's ears pierced... she was 8 weeks old then.
    I had to think about it first because I was also unsure. But I went ahead with it and it went really well! She didn't cry at all and as far as I could tell, she didn't have any discomfort from it!
    I think if you're going to do it, a few weeks is better than a year or so...
    Then they really become aware of it and you have to hold them firmly. Now they don't even realize what's happening. It looks incredibly cute and I'm really glad I made that choice.
    But everyone has their own opinion on this, of course.
    Good luck with your decision..

    Love, Lynn

  13. stefanie.b. #14

    From what I've heard, you can only do this from 1 year old. And because of the choice, which girl doesn't want earrings? With a boy, I wouldn't do that, personally I don't find it nice either ;-)

  14. Lynn #15

    I also have a 5-year-old boy... he doesn't have earrings either. I personally don't think they look nice either!
    Do you only start letting them wear earrings after 1 year, Stefanie?
    I see you also have a little girl! Mana is now 3 months old! Time flies.

  15. Vera started this #16

    @lynn! How cute, that your little girl already has little earrings. I'm really curious how they look on such a tiny one.
    Pity you don't see it that often....

    @stefanie and @lynn. I also have an 8-year-old boy, but he definitely won't get earrings. He does have a friend who does. Everyone's choice.

    I've indeed heard that some jewelers only pierce little ears from age 4 onwards. Others from 0.

    So, time to search. I'll definitely ask at CB, curious what they'll say. It's still my choice, but I do want to hear their opinion.

    Greetings

  16. kruimel #17

    I think a 4-year-old can definitely say what they want or don't want. A navel piercing is indeed going too far, but I just don't think it's okay to give a child something without them having a say in it. This is a choice I wouldn't like to make for my kids (in this area). The choice is indeed up to the parents, but as long as the child has some input as well.

    I find this the same as dressing up small dogs. It might look very cute, but does the dog have a choice? No, because it can't indicate whether it wants it or not.

    Also, I find it terrible to sleep with studs in my ears. Those little pins that always poke into the skin behind my ear...

    Besides, I also think it's just not beautiful for babies. In my opinion, it doesn't fit a young child (sorry!!!).

    But it's good that everyone has a different opinion on this.
    xKruimel

  17. Vera started this #18

    @kruimel. I’d like to keep things polite here, which is why I don’t think the word “ordonnance” fits. Other people don’t attack you either for having possibly crazy ideas about letting your child choose something at a very early age.

    Please keep things really polite here and don’t attack each other!

    Respect each other!!!!!! Thank you all.

  18. Vera started this #19

    Hi Lynn, yes, I have a girl who's 3.5 months old. I want to give her earrings around her first birthday.

    I agree it's tough. I don't care what others think. What matters is what you find beautiful as a parent. Because everyone raises their kids in the best way they can.

    We've already bought earrings. Gold baby earrings. They're more or less round (slightly off-round) so they can't poke behind the baby's ears.

    @kruimel, I agree with you. That's not nice.

  19. kruimel #20

    Sorry that you took it personally.. This was never my intention!
    I also don't think I responded disrespectfully or inappropriately.. You asked for an opinion, and I've given it to you..

    Again: fortunately, everyone has a different view on parenting, and fortunately so, otherwise it would get boring..

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