Forum Single mothers

Low on cash, summer vacation, clothes?

12 replies

Iza
What a frustrating story! And it’s always easy for others to talk until they’re in this situation themselves. Yes, you chose to have four kids and probably imagined they’d grow up with a father who wouldn’t just disappear. Well, things turned out differently, and now you want the best for your children.

Often, campsites and recreation parks have nice playgrounds where kids can play for free. You can also look for play forests through Staatsbosbeheer (also free), and nature swimming pools aren’t too expensive either (usually just 1 or 2 euros for a whole day of swimming). In my area, there are sometimes clothing swaps where you might find some nice clothes for yourself or your kids, and Marktplaats is still a great option too.

As for your oldest, it’s understandable that he wants to join in with the rest and his friends, but I wouldn’t stress too much about it. He’s probably also angry because his dad left, and the clothes are likely just an excuse to be upset. Check out Marktplaats for branded clothes, and maybe kleertjes.nl too. They buy older collections and sell them at a nice price.

Wishing you lots of strength, and I’d suggest sorting out the child support quickly!!

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    Thanks for your kind reply! And thanks for the tips.
    I do check Marktplaats sometimes, but I can only look at items nearby because I really have to watch every penny and sometimes I don't trust Marktplaats. So there are only a limited number available, especially in big sizes!
    The clothes I can swap basically don't exist because they have so few clothes and they can be quite hard on them, so everything gets worn out, dirty, or broken pretty quickly.

    @Sophia I don't trust holiday auctions and they're still way too expensive anyway, but thanks for the tip!

  2. zwijgt #3

    Primark has cheap clothes I recently bought several shirts and sweaters there for 3 euros each (new) . It's really crowded though, and you have to be prepared to stand in line for about an hour for the fitting rooms... *sigh*.

  3. zwijgt #4

    Well, unfortunately, you see a lot of it these days... It's indeed nothing nice, and I myself am coming across it all too often due to the crisis. I was also almost in the same boat financially with my partner...

  4. Lenita29 #5

    Yeah, sure.. go ahead and spam it...

  5. RJ #6

    Lenita, how are you doing?!

  6. Lenita29 #7

    I'll quickly reply in our mama topic.

  7. Liesseling #8

    If you really only have 150 euros left, you're entitled to the food bank and clothing bank. You can also (at least here) get discounts at second-hand stores.

    I'd also sign up for all the selling and giveaway groups on Facebook.

    As for outings, I don't really know. We don't have much money and often look for deals through vacation auctions, and we often go swimming in a pond, of course in the summer.

  8. Betty #9

    Hi anonymous, what a tough story. You must have to pull your hair out sometimes. It's so impressive that you're doing your best for your kids. I'm sure that when they're old enough and realize what you've done for them, they'll be proud of you! I don't think it's weird that your son has to work for extras. It also teaches them the value of money and that they have to work for it.

    We never had much money either and turned every penny. Luckily, I now have a job, but still have a significant student loan. We also take on anything that's offered to us, and I do like to cook fresh from the vegetable garden. Our entire home setup comes from Marktplaats ;-)

    Maybe you could do some remote work? Simple work that your kids might also enjoy helping with for extra pocket money.

    Lots of hugs

  9. Madelene #10

    what a terrible situation sometimes life takes a strange turn that can happen to anyone you don't choose that in advance of course
    i'm not really familiar with those things but i wish you lots of strength with everything. and even though i've never been in such a situation myself i can imagine how heavy it must be
    and i'm already empathizing with you as i read your story
    greetings mama

  10. Madelene #11

    Sorry that mom ended it on the phone; it should have been greetings, Madelene.

  11. Gewoon ikken Guest #12

    so relatable. I'm also a single mom with three beautiful girls!
    But holidays and things that friends have are a drama..
    And no, I don't work because I have two kids with disabilities,
    And I was refused a job placement through the social services because of the kids,
    And I've tried through connections
    And no, it's not that I don't want to work,
    But no jobs are for people without education???? yes, every time I apply but nothing nada!
    Living on benefits and turning every dime,
    No money for luxury..
    No new clothes, no school trips, no birthdays, no nothing of all that means luxury!
    And of course there are agencies that make life a bit easier..
    But shame ... No transport ... No childcare ... No help you don't get help either!

  12. SanneJ #13

    That's really tough, and unfortunately, very relatable!
    I'd recommend trying to get in touch with the Stichting kinderen met minder in Rotterdam; I came across them through my social worker. They can really help you with all sorts of things you mentioned!

    Good luck, girl!
    Love, Sanne

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