Forum Young mothers

know-it-alls

33 replies · page 1 of 2

anoniemGuest ·
When I reply on other forums saying I want to become a mom early on, I get all kinds of negative reactions like: "You're only 19, how are you going to manage that financially?" and "Who says your relationship will last?" "Can he even support you?" "You don't even know how expensive a house and a baby are." Blah blah blah... I'm sure I can do it! My boyfriend earns enough to pay the rent and support us. Plus, we'll definitely be supported by my father-in-law. So I don't understand why my idea is being shot down on other sites! They call me selfish, etc. But I'm not even pregnant yet; I'm just thinking about doing it. And I'm sure my boyfriend and I would be able to take good care of the baby. We'll get plenty of support from his family and our friends.

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. Eefje Guest #2

    Hi Anonymous, not here. Maybe from time to time some unsolicited advice, but here we leave each other alone!

    Welcome!

  2. Mirjam #3

    People react based on their own mindset, so their response actually says more about them than about you. They probably weren't ready for it themselves at that age. Fortunately, no one can decide when you're ready except your partner and you.
    Are you maybe looking for other women who want to become young mothers? Maybe you could create a new topic about that so like-minded people can respond.

  3. * #4

    @Anoniem,

    Yes, before I joined this forum, I first took a look at how things worked. Slowly I started to reply, and sure enough, I got very positive responses. That was about a year ago, and now I'm very active on this forum. So it's nice that you're here, and I'd say join Brabbels, the most fun forum hihihi.

    Love Ju or rather mamavanmi

  4. onswondertje Guest #5

    Hi there. I'm in exactly the same boat. I'm 19 now, turning 20 in 3 months. My boyfriend and I have been living together for a few months now, and we told our families. His family is already angry because he's 22 and already living with me? My family, on the other hand, gives me so much support. I even got a wonderful message from this forum. If you're sure about it, have everything sorted out, and it feels right, then just go for it.

  5. manuela93 #6

    I got on another forum that it's very immature if I want a baby now and very selfish if I do. They say that I can't give my baby everything then.
    So I told them: do I have to be rich and live in a villa to be able to give my baby everything? No.
    The baby still needs the most love anyway, I'll get plenty of support from my in-laws and my partner and we'll manage just fine!
    All that meddling and know-it-alls bah.. :$
    Xx

  6. manuela93 #7

    Thank you!
    At least you understand me!
    I completely agree with you!
    Xx

  7. Sarah #8

    That's lovely!! And stay cozy on this forum, hehe

    Xxx

  8. manuela93 #9

    I sure do!
    At least we support each other in this forum!
    Xx

  9. Mandy #10

    I personally wasn't ready for a baby at 19, not at all, but that's my story. When I see my 20-year-old sister-in-law, who really wants to be a mom, I see that she is truly ready and fully committed. So who am I to judge her? You know best what you can handle and what you can't, right?
    I hope your dreams come true soon!
    If only there were a forum where you'd need approval before you could start having kids! hahahaha (p.s. I'm 31 now)

  10. Sarah #11

    Haha yeah! I've been ready for a couple of years now!! But if it's unplanned or you're still growing in your life, going out every weekend etc., which is pretty normal at 19, I understand you're not ready for it. But everyone is so different; one person is really 19 or 20, while another is much further along at that age! And I have a lot of experience because I've been working with newborns, babies, toddlers, and preschoolers for years, so I know what I'm talking about!! But some people think that at my age (almost 21), I don't know what I'm talking about, which is really annoying! But well, everything turned out fine for you, right? So now you're 31, I'd say everything will find its way.

    My dream has come true; I have the sweetest, best, and most beautiful boyfriend I could wish for, and I'm finally pregnant!!!

    Hihi, greetings!

  11. SuzanneW #12

    I totally get you. When we were 20, we moved in together. I have to say, the plans for kids and everything were already set, but I really wanted to get married before having a baby. My husband wasn't quite ready for kids back then hahaha (they take a little longer ). But he did want to marry me, and we got engaged when we were 21, saving up nicely. People also told us things like "Enjoy your youth" and "Get to know other people"... So weird.

    We got married when we were 22, and after a year of trying, we were finally pregnant. My husband really wanted to have kids too. We have a son, Olivier, who is 2 years old, and we're currently trying for number 2 hahaha. By the way, I'm 26 now.

    Did your family also say those kinds of things? Sometimes I felt like they didn't have enough faith in us.

  12. Sarah #13

    Hey, what a lovely story! You guys really did well with the house, getting married, etc!! It's so annoying when people say things like 'enjoy your youth, I wish I were 20 again' and all that stuff. Pff, it just doesn't make you feel good! For me, there are indeed a lot of family members, but luckily that's completely turned around now, and we still live at home. It's so nice that you want to get pregnant again! Men usually take a bit longer with that haha, but once they do want it, you're pregnant in no time haha.

    Greetings

  13. manuela93 #14

    I'm 19 and don't go out or anything.
    So I wouldn't miss that either.
    And most older people do say you should enjoy your youth etc.
    But I try not to let it bother me!
    X

  14. SuzanneW #15

    I hope the second one takes hold soon hihihi

    Fortunately, a lot of our family has also converted!

    Yes, fortunately it went well, I was always very careless with the pill, fortunately it doesn't just fall apart afterwards for us 11 months is not short. That's why we started a bit earlier now, I think we've been at it for about a year again!

    And what you say about being young. I have no objection to becoming a mother at a later age, you also have to meet a partner or already have the desire. But it does come with risks.. For example, my mother was 38 when she went through menopause, well, becoming a mother later is maybe not even an option for me.. I think that if you have young children, you should also be relatively young when they are, say, 20, 30, or 40 years old. If my son is 40, I'll be 64, then I'm not even retired yet, what can I still do for him, I hope!!

  15. Sarah #16

    Yes, young moms have so many advantages in the end, especially when it's planned! And what you said, haha, about getting pregnant with my niece took 2 years the first time but only 4 weeks the second time, haha. So keep in mind that it can happen suddenly. For me, it took 4 months, but unfortunately, it was a miscarriage, and after the curettage, it took another 2 months before I got pregnant again! But 38 and going through menopause is quite early though! But yeah, then you'd better have young kids.

    I also think everyone should decide for themselves at what age they want a child, but the know-it-alls don't need to judge 'young moms'. Young? 20 isn't a teenager anymore; you don't get allowances or discounts; you have to pay for everything yourself. I don't get free pregnancy gym classes, so according to Dutch law, you're completely an adult! By the way, you can also buy a house at this age, and nobody talks about that. That's just as big a step as having a baby!

    Greetings

  16. SuzanneW #17

    Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself.

    I'm not against older moms, it's their choice, but if I could have started earlier, I would have!

    You can study your whole life, and you can also share seeing the world with your kids.

  17. Sarah #18

    Yeah, luckily I already have my degree and driver's license, and my boyfriend has a permanent contract! That's already great, hehe.

    But life is too short to overthink everything! Enjoying the moment is the best!

  18. manuela93 #19

    Well girls, wish me luck!
    I'm just starting to "do some DIY" tonight!
    Hihi, so exciting!

    Xx

  19. SuzanneW #20

    hihi have lots of fun and send him your best troops haha

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