Forum 2nd trimester

Breastfeeding and attachment

5 replies

AnoniemGuest ·
Hello dear readers,

I read under the heading "16 weeks" that breastfeeding is really the best for children and also for the bond between mother and child. This always gives me a bit of a feeling of emotional blackmail.

Because I had an anaphylactic shock (extreme allergic reaction to antibiotics) during the C-section, I spent the first day and a half on the ICU where I was kept asleep. Our son was placed with me, but for the most part, he wasn't with me. Breastfeeding was not an option for me. Do you really think that my son and I have a worse bond? I always find this kind of messaging such nonsense! Our son had bottle feeding, is perfectly healthy, and doesn't suffer from all sorts of allergies. And I have a lovely and good bond with him! It's strange that I notice severe eczema and allergies in some of my friends despite their breastfeeding! It almost seems like mothers pass this on to their children!!! Besides, I can also recall many desperate mothers at the consultation bureau (yes, because that's often what it is) lamenting exhaustion, completely lost in feeding and in an unstable state! Lovely, such a mother, and it seems really good for the bond! Of course, I also have friends whose breastfeeding went well and everything is fine. But my message is: Please do what suits you and don't let the breastfeeding mafia confuse you. Follow your feelings, then you'll be the best mother you can be, and that's ultimately the best for everyone. Good luck with making your choice! Love

Replies

  1. Samantha Guest #2

    Hi there!

    I don't doubt for a second that you have a great bond with your child.
    I totally agree with you that many mothers are overwhelmed by the hard work of breastfeeding. I think all moms struggle during the first 6 weeks. I'd happily breastfeed if I could. My daughter couldn't stay skin-to-skin on my chest for hours because she was born too early, and I had pregnancy-induced hypertension (pre-eclampsia). I got a breast infection during my postpartum period. It was indeed tough, but breastfeeding is so special that you can't really understand it unless you've done it yourself. It goes way beyond just helping a child grow.
    As for allergies and eczema, those can be genetically determined, which is separate from formula/breastfeeding.
    Everyone should do what feels right for them; that's what benefits the child the most.

  2. Iza #3

    Of course you have a good bond with your child, and of course breastfeeding isn't the key to a good attachment, but..... breastfeeding is a natural and logical continuation of the period your baby spent in the womb, and it has everything in it that's good (and enough) for your baby. That doesn't mean that when you bottle-feed you have a worse bond, and especially when there are medical reasons, bottle-feeding is a great option.
    It's certainly not meant as emotional blackmail, but unfortunately too many women still don't know the benefits of breastfeeding (including helping with a good bond between mother and child).

  3. Iza #4

    And the response 'mother nature passes on eczema etc.' is of course not really a fair one. You should do what feels right for you, just like your friends who are breastfeeding. Enjoy your little one and respect everyone's choices!

  4. San21032013 #5

    Totally understandable post! I'm pregnant with our first baby, and I've had a pretty tough pregnancy with severe pelvic and back pain since week 10... Since I'm already pretty exhausted now, I think I'll probably choose bottle feeding later on. Thanks to all the media reports and everything you read in magazines, this feels like a tough decision, like I'm failing.... I work in childcare and see that 90% of kids are bottle-fed, and it really doesn't say much about allergies or how often a baby is unwell. I want to give breastfeeding a chance, I think, but honestly, I have my doubts. I want to be able to enjoy myself fully later on, and I think that's easier for me with bottle feeding in my situation....

  5. Mama Guest #6

    I think the use of breastfeeding mafia is a nice example of how colored your story is. I really do believe that breastfeeding is better than bottle feeding. This is repeatedly demonstrated. Moreover, new substances and reactions in breast milk are still being discovered, which means they haven't been adopted by the bottle feeding industry. Because what they don't know, they can't put in there.
    The Netherlands is, mainly due to aggressive advertising campaigns by the bottle feeding mafia one of the countries with the lowest penetration of breastfeeding mothers, and I find that sad. As a mother, you want to give your child the best, right?
    Personal stories, no matter how touching, do not refute the hard facts. Children who are breastfed are generally healthier. That everyone might know an unhealthy breastfed child and a healthy bottle-fed child unfortunately doesn't say much. The unhealthy child might have been even less healthy without breastfeeding, and the healthy child might have been even healthier with breastfeeding.

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