1st trimester
Had a miscarriage.
Ons Meutje
Hi everyone,
I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing by reading or posting all this now.
I had a miscarriage at Christmas; I was 9 weeks pregnant at the time. What a disappointment—no heartbeat on the ultrasound. I was already kind of expecting it, though, since I'd been bleeding for a few days.
But it's still such a blow. I thought I'd react pretty calmly, like, "Okay, it's not nice and it's unpleasant, but it happens more often, we just have to move on." But unfortunately, it doesn't feel like that right now.
I'm so emotional—I guess it's the hormones, because this isn't like me at all. I have good days and bad days. Yesterday, I think most of it came out, and after a good talk with my partner, it did ease up a bit. I really didn't feel like doing anything and just wanted to stay home.
Now I'm really unsure about when to go back to work. I've already been off for a week on my midwife's advice. But I can't stay home forever. When is the right time to return? I also have the added challenge of being a maternity nurse myself, so I'm surrounded by people experiencing the most beautiful moment of their lives all day.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and if anyone has gone through something similar.
I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing by reading or posting all this now.
I had a miscarriage at Christmas; I was 9 weeks pregnant at the time. What a disappointment—no heartbeat on the ultrasound. I was already kind of expecting it, though, since I'd been bleeding for a few days.
But it's still such a blow. I thought I'd react pretty calmly, like, "Okay, it's not nice and it's unpleasant, but it happens more often, we just have to move on." But unfortunately, it doesn't feel like that right now.
I'm so emotional—I guess it's the hormones, because this isn't like me at all. I have good days and bad days. Yesterday, I think most of it came out, and after a good talk with my partner, it did ease up a bit. I really didn't feel like doing anything and just wanted to stay home.
Now I'm really unsure about when to go back to work. I've already been off for a week on my midwife's advice. But I can't stay home forever. When is the right time to return? I also have the added challenge of being a maternity nurse myself, so I'm surrounded by people experiencing the most beautiful moment of their lives all day.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and if anyone has gone through something similar.
Replies
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RJ #2
Hi Ons Meutje, It's awful to hear that you had a miscarriage. Even if you're expecting it, it still comes as a huge shock. I've had a miscarriage myself. I was already suspecting something due to certain symptoms, but when the ultrasound confirmed it, it hurt so much. I went back to work the next day. At the time, I thought the distraction of work would do me good. I absolutely didn't want to be alone at home. I think everyone handles it differently; everyone processes it in their own way. I don't know if I would have done the same if I had taken maternity leave. Anyway, sending you lots of strength to get through this, and take all the time you need! Love, RJ -
Laura #3
Hi our little group,
I’m lucky enough not to have experienced a miscarriage, but I can totally imagine you’re on an emotional rollercoaster right now. Sending you lots of strength anyway!!!
I think you’re the only one who can decide if you’re ready to go back to work. After all, you know how you feel best. Don’t let your surroundings/employer rush you!
Love,
Laura -
Ons Meutje started this #4
I called in sick today at work, I'm still off for a few days and then we'll make further plans on Friday. I'll have to get through it somehow. I notice that after my crying fit, things have been a bit calmer over the weekend, I'm starting to come back to myself. Some days are better than others. -
* #5
@Our Little One,
Here's a little pick-me-up for you.
I hope you can find a place for your loss.
Keep talking, and don't hesitate to write too...
Hello sweet baby.....
As a baby, you fluttered in my belly and in my life...
As a little dove, you flew away from me into the heavenly light..
As a guardian angel, you are now with me forever
Your little star in the sky that lights up all people...
Wishing you lots of strength, girl, with the loss, and hopefully you'll be pregnant again soon.
Do enjoy your work a bit too, it's really quite special as a maternity nurse..
Greetings, Ju
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Anonymous Guest #6
Oh, that's so beautifully said, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your encouragement. And I definitely have a wonderful profession, and it will always stay that way.
Greetings. -
Anonymous Guest #7
That message is from our little group. -
* #8
@Meutje,
You're welcome and stay strong..
Love Ju -
Bently Guest #9
Hi Meutje,
This week my baby would have been 9. But this pregnancy wasn't carried to term. Meanwhile, we have a little girl. Everything is going super well with her, we're super happy with her. But every year we think a bit about our other baby.
Wishing you lots of strength and processing power!
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